Welcoming in September: Alison Campbell, MSW, LICSW

We are very excited to announce the newest addition to the Birch Counseling Team: Alison Campbell, MSW, LICSW!

Alison enjoys working with both adult individuals and couples across the lifespan from all walks of life. She uses a holistic, mind-body perspective and recognizes that a wide range of past and present influences effect both our individual well being and our relationships. With a collaborative, kind and practical approach, Alison helps people explore patterns that may not be serving them and offers guidance and tools for better coping, balance and resiliency so that they can feel more empowered to make the changes they desire. She uses a strengths based, person centered approach with evidence based practices informed by a blend of frameworks. She has had extensive training in mindfulness and somatic practices.

Alison has experience addressing depression, anxiety, stress reduction, trauma, health issues, substance use, relationship difficulties, grief and loss and personal growth. She has lived on both coasts of the US and has worked with people in a variety of settings including low-come housing, correctional facilities, long term care facilities and hospice and community counseling centers. She received her Master’s degree in Social Work from Washington University in St Louis.

Alison has two children, enjoys good books, good cooking, meeting new people and being in the outdoors. She is also a certified yoga teacher.

Spotlight with Brian Borre: Metacognitive Therapy

Before we get into theory, or how this approach might apply to you, let’s take a detour into language. When used as a prefix in the English language, “meta-”, stemming from the Greek for “after” or “beyond”, means something that goes beyond, to be all-encompassing, or become transcendent. When “Meta” and “Cognitive” are put together, the result essentially means “thinking about thinking.” For example, have you ever had an experience where you’re certain you know the name of something--a person, product, or place--but you can’t recall it? This “tip of the tongue” experience is just one example of how metacognitions work to inform our everyday lives--we’re thinking about how we’re thinking. While most of our meta-processes aren’t so conscious, our metacognitions are in the background actively controlling and influencing our conscious experience of the world, 

Metacognitive Therapy (MCT) focuses on targeting and modifying our deeply held beliefs--the thinking about our thinking--that fosters states of perpetual worry, rumination, and/or fixation. For example, if you say to yourself, “worrying about this keeps me safe,” or “I have no control over my thoughts,” you are both observing your own thinkingand having thoughts about thinking. The goal of MCT is simple: identify, challenge, and reduce what they dub, “Cognitive-Attentional Syndrome” (CAS). CAS is an umbrella term that refers to the kinds of beliefs that imply: we need worry, are incapable of stopping worry, and would be better off if we hyperfocus on tackling each individual worry.  

You might be thinking to yourself, “Birch Counseling, this is starting to sound a lot like CBT,” (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy). The truth is, you aren’t exactly wrong. In CBT, we are dealing with our thoughts. For example, if we were to use CBT to challenge our social anxiety, we might ask ourselves, “how likely will this outcome be, and will it be as bad as we’re thinking it will be?” Essentially, we identify an irrational thought and we challenge it with a more realistic lens. 

In comparison, with MCT, we are dealing with how we think about our thinking. We don’t give a lot of attention to the individual thoughts. Instead, we challenge the thinking around the thoughts themselves by asking ourselves, “should I spend my time worrying if the worry doesn’t make it less likely to happen? And if I already worried about it and made a decision, why am I re-worrying about this when I don’t have any new information?” This process, which encourages us to refuse to engage with unhelpful thinking, is called “Detached Mindfulness.” It works because it isn’t avoidance--it challenges people to view their worry and irrational beliefs as something that is outside of their core, observe the thoughts, stay non-reactive to them, and choose to respond without the preoccupation with worry about worried thinking. 

Why does Brian like it? Besides being a philosophical guy interested in all things “meta” (emotions, beliefs, and communication), Brian saw that CBT wasn’t always helpful with anxious, depressed, or addiction-driven thinking. From his perspective, it can be equally harmful to hyper-focus on our worry if we feel utterly incapable of controlling or changing it. He thinks about it like “giving in to a screaming toddler you know is just seeking attention because they want something from you, and you don’t know how to handle the upset anymore. Ultimately, it doesn’t help you, or them, to keep caving in or feeling totally helpless to stop it.” Instead, you can learn how to provide the tantruming child in your brain--the anxiety, depression, or addiction monster’s voice--the reassurance that you know what’s best, have a plan, can essentially “pivot” yourself out of the situation, or rebound if you make a mistake. It deflates the tantrum in your brain. And that’s a powerful tool. 

If you think Brian might be a fit for you, or have any additional questions about metacognitive therapy, please feel free to reach out to our team at BizOffice@birchcounseling.com. 

References:

1. https://mct-institute.co.uk/therapy/

2. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6246690/#:~:text=Conclusions%3A%20Our%20findings%20indicate%20that,psychotherapies%2C%20including%20cognitive%20behavioral%20interventions.

3. https://mental-health-matters.com/what-is-metacognitive-therapy-and-how-can-it-help-anxiety/

4. https://www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fpsyg.2017.00031/full

Going Out On A Limb With Brian Borre, MA, LMFT, LADC

In another life, Brian would have been any college student’s dream Philosophy or Creative Writing professor because he makes you think without feeling judged. He doesn’t pepper you with questions, or reflexively challenge your answers for the sake of being contrarian. And while you can tell that there is always something percolating just beneath the surface, it never feels like he’s holding something back from you, creating a power imbalance, or checked-out in the moment. He’s just effortlessly curious, compassionate, and clear about his boundaries: he won’t work harder than you do. 

 Perhaps part of what makes Brian a refreshing therapist to Minnesotans is that he’s not from here; being a Chicago native, he can observe the “Minnesota Nice” practices of passivity, but he’s not limited to them. He’s not afraid to sit in silence, push on a button, or meet clients where they are at--it all just depends on what the client’s needs are. While he identifies as more of a “generalist,” or someone who sees a variety of client populations, Brian likes to work with blended families, young professionals, and couples because of his own personal experiences. When it’s appropriate, Brian has found it can really help to have someone who has been through some of those experiences help validate your feelings, normalize what’s happening, and help figure out what comes next. 

 One thing you might find surprising about Brian: His first professional venture had nothing to do with therapy! While he always felt a calling towards private practice, and his undergraduate major focused on Psychology and Sociology, Brian took a several-year detour into the Culinary Arts! Brian worked in professional kitchens near Yosemite National Park and “really loved it.” What’s really surprising about this tidbit isn’t even the professional pivot, it’s the fact that he identifies as a “professional chef who now doesn’t cook.” He’s clear he’s diplomatic about shared household labor, but in terms of creative expression and self-care, he’d rather spend his time watching or reading Science Fiction, having adventures with his kids, or playing guitar. 

On coping with the pandemic: Brian admits that his coping with the pandemic has shifted as the world starts to open up again. Early on, his coping came from fitness, work, reading, and nature; things that would help him to ground or find some semblance of normalcy. Now that we’re able to explore more, he finds himself coping with the uncertainty by noticing the “absolute, purest joy” that his children are experiencing. Even if vicarious, the “wonder they have and excitement for everything they’re doing, it’s like watching them discover it all for the first time,” which helps him hold on to gratitude, wonder, and simplicity, even in the most uncertain or ambiguous of times. 

 Walk-Up Song: Brian’s ideal walk-up song, “would be something like a mash-up between The Sex Pistols and Beethoven,” which we think is pretty indicative of his style: a balance between classical approaches and total anarchy. Since that song doesn’t technically exist yet (and Brian’s musical skills are limited to the guitar), the closest thing he could think of was London Punkharmonic Orchestra’s cover of “Pretty Vacant” (originally by The Sex Pistols). While we were skeptical at first, we might be able to add this to our waiting room playlist…

Professional pet-peeve: Brian is “other professionals who stop learning or continue to learn in a singular way.” From Brian’s perspective, having an interest as a clinician in anything ranging from music to Mythology, Stoicism to sports, nature or technology, literally whatever you choose to learn about, can inform how we experience our lives and others. Brian believes that a narrow focus or general lack of curiosity can contribute to the greatest of professional offenses: shaming and invalidating clients.

Favorite tool in the Therapist Toolbox: By this point in the blog, you’re probably not going to be surprised that Brian is anti-assessment and scales. To be fair, he does believe in referring to psych testing, understands the value of tracking relevant data, and ongoing anecdotal assessments. He just doesn’t believe in universal measures of unique situations, or snapshots in time meant to reflect something grander. In his experience, some of the most standardized tools can bring about shame for clients because they “didn’t make progress fast enough, or felt like they had a better week but their depression assessment is high today,” and it can cause undue harm. Instead, Brian often uses an ecological approach to help clients reflect on what is going on in their life at any given moment, on a bunch of different levels. If you’ve never had one, it can sort of look like a target with each ring reflecting a different domain of our life. This way, “we’re checking the health of their system as it is today--not just focusing on all the bad at work or home, it’s bringing it back into a larger context and perspective so there’s more balance and insight.” 

 If you have any questions about Brian, his approach, or think he might be a fit for you, please reach out to us at bizoffice@birchcounseling.com or get in touch through the “Contact Us” tab on our website. Otherwise, stay tuned for our next blog post where we put the spotlight on how Brian’s “Meta” thinking translates into Metacognitive Therapy with clients!

Spotlight with Pam Hyatt: Self-of-the-Therapist

If you’ve ever been in a position where you are trying to get to know someone, such as a kid or someone shy, it’s not an unusual tactic to try to open up a little to them. The hope is, of course, that by making a disclosure about ourselves, that they will reciprocate in kind. Even though it’s used as a common intervention between teachers and students, spiritual leaders and practitioners, and in various professional settings, it’s often considered taboo for a therapist to disclose about themself during a client session. After all, no client comes to therapy to listen to their therapist talk about themself!

Self-of-the-Therapist isn’t used by therapists to update you about their life, confide in you about the drama in their relationship, or process their past. It’s when a highly skilled therapist is able to use the work they have done on themself, insight they have gained or skills they have learned along the way, and share it intentionally with a client to create a teachable moment, joining opportunity, or as a measure of sorts to assess a client’s morals, values, and idiosyncrasies. If done correctly, a shared understanding of the world starts to develop from the shared--and contrasting--experiences of the world. From there, a certain degree of comradery starts to develop between the client and the therapist, a feeling like, “okay, we’re really in this together... we get and want to talk about this thing that not everyone else does or can!”

The problem is: it’s considered taboo or unusual for a reason. For it to be an effective technique, the therapist doing it has to be well, having done (and continuing to do) the work on themself. They would also have to be able to be their most authentic and vulnerable self, present and dynamic, ethical and informative, all while tailoring the right disclosure, at the right moment, for the right person. Plus, they have to do it without having a formal class on it in graduate school! In short, it’s taboo because not all therapists do it well, and when done poorly, it can cause irreparable harm to the therapeutic relationship and/or the client.

Why does Pam like it? “It helps clients open up,” she says, and she believes it builds a trust that she “might be able to get it in a way that their past therapists, friends, or families don’t.” She uses her experiences as a mom, as a professional across different industries, experiences in different times or relationships, whatever might prove insightful, curious, or normalizing in the moment to the client. “It’s always about building that different understanding, that sort of magic moment when you both just get it, that can make this work so rewarding” to Pam.

It also helps that Pam is good at it. Whether in client sessions or consultation with other therapists, Pam is a wealth of knowledge and insight, warmth and grounding, as well as compassion and empathy, which translate whether you're in the office with her or having a virtual meeting. Her skill comes from her experiences doing her own work, and having had a therapist who “could talk about himself for a half hour without even noticing.” She wants to ensure clients never have to experience that, and welcomes the feedback if you find her “a little chatty sometimes.”

If you think Pam or another Self-of-the-Therapist provider at our practice might be a fit for you, or have any additional questions about this approach, please feel free to reach out to our team at BizOffice@birchcounseling.com. We look forward to introducing you to another team member in June!

References:

https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/160940691201100504

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/experimentations/202001/how-thera pists-use-the-self-during-therapy https://www.wyomingcounselingassociation.com/wp-content/uploads/Lum-200 2-Self-Of-Therapist-Satir.pdf

Going Out On A Limb With: Pam Hyatt, MSW, LICSW

To try and capture Pam is analogous to trying to capture all the elements of nature at once: she’s grounded like the earth, occasionally enjoys playing with fire (when it’s appropriate and relatively safe), understands the inherent duality of water’s gentle and abrasive force, and is always running a little late, which is why she can run like the wind! These elements, and being able to hold space for the different parts of people, contribute to her being an excellent clinician. Her dynamic nature allows her to access different parts of herself and her experiences to relate, inform, and improve a client’s experience of their situation.

She’s able to provide various elements to her clients because she knows what it is to have to go through the darkness and find the light again (and again...). At fifty, around the same time she went to graduate school for counseling, she decided she wanted to become the kind of wise woman she had always wanted to have in her own life. Today, she still aspires to provide others with genuine acceptance, understanding, and unconditional support with a hearty dose of “tough love if needed” that so few people get to have in their life. Whether she’s giving away hugs at the Pride Festival, with her family, or working with clients, she feels “grateful” for the opportunity to “sit in all the ick” with people who “genuinely want better for themselves and just don’t have the right support to get there.”

One thing you might find surprising about Pam: How many single mothers go to graduate school AND run for state leadership? That’s just who Pam is. She has a passion for Organizational Leadership, and armed with a Master’s Degree in the subject from St. Kate’s, she decided she wanted to be the change she wanted to see in the world. While she didn’t win that particular election, she continues to be an advocate for the queer, marginalized, and oppressed populations in the Twin Cities area.

On coping with the pandemic: Pam has always loved the arts and believes she was “blessed with the curse of being artistic.” She started with dance throughout her youth before finding theater in High School and college, which eventually evolved into a seven-year stint in the Chicago Improv scene. In the pandemic, finding a space for art and expression has become even more important to Pam. While she admits her primary coping has relied heavily upon time with her husband, quality calls with her granddaughters, and cooking, she attributes her current sanity to singing anything from showtunes to pop songs, streaming plays and movies, writing, and doing things that help her stay connected to the creative world.

Walk-Up Song: Based on the last paragraph, it might come as no surprise that Pam’s anthem is borrowed from Broadway. Written by Dolly Parton and performed with the ensemble cast of 9 to 5 (including all-stars like Allison Janney and Megan Hilty), “Change It” has a quirky melody and a simple call to action: “Somethin’ gotcha down? Gotcha chained and bound? Well, break it.” It might be an overly simplistic analogy for Pam’s work as a therapist, but there is something about the song that perfectly captures what sets Pam apart from so many other clinicians: she…

…isn’t going to sit back and endlessly validate you. Having been through so much in her life, she knows there’s no getting unstuck without personal agency being involved in the process.

Professional pet-peeve: One of the best things about Pam is that she’s not an unclear person. She’s direct, assertive, curious, and communicative in the therapeutic process, and in her life. While she does believe in unconditional positive regard for her clients, her pet-peeve comes from the mispractice of that same orientation. Pam believes that unconditional validation and support can accidentally enable client’s stuckness, impair client growth, and prevent clients from learning how to get more comfortable with the discomfort they are experiencing. From Pam’s perspective, unconditional positive regard means you know clients are capable of more and therapists are willing to “push people, even if it’s just a little bit past where they think they’ll be comfortable.”

Favorite tool in the Therapist Toolbox: Pam has a very diverse caseload. From queer children to conservative, older couples, Pam tailors her toolbox to meet each client where they are at because the tools that work in one space don’t always translate. However, Pam has found one tool that transcends demographics entirely: Self-of-the-Therapist. This tool is when a unique therapist shares more of their personality, experience, world view, and belief systems with clients in order to create a genuine sense of connection, intersubjectivity, and attachment with a unique client. While that might sound like Pam just talks about herself a lot, what it actually means is that she uses her deep well of human experience to inform and relate to others in order to normalize absurd, upsetting, or uncomfortable experiences clients may be experiencing.

If you have any questions about Pam, her approach, or think she might be a fit for you, please reach out to us at bizoffice@birchcounseling.com. Otherwise, stay tuned for our next blog post where we put the spotlight on Self-of-the-Therapist, and how Pam incorporates it into her approach.

Going Out On A Limb With: Mark Bartley, MA, LPC

Mark is a “Meat and Potatoes” kind of guy, both literally and metaphorically. In the literal sense, he’s definitely the kind of guy who enjoys a solid protein and an Idaho spud, and he’d probably do so wearing his flannel shirt after a day of ice fishing. He was, after all, born and raised in Blue Earth, so hunting, wood-working, and carpentry are part of the bloodline.

Sitting down with Mark evokes the kind of built-in comfort which is hard to quantify. It may be a bit like sitting down to a hearty beef stew on a cold winter night, or having a burger with fries in the summer with friends. Those kinds of foods and experiences, no matter where you go or how it’s prepared, feel familiar and tender, down-home and straight forward. Sitting with Mark helps you relax, be present, slow down, and appreciate the simple things in life. It just feels natural doing the work with him, and it very rarely feels like work. 

One thing you might find surprising about Mark: He actually enjoys Telehealth! Don’t get him wrong, he’s also excited to be back in the office again with real live people. When working Telehealth, he appreciates how a client can spontaneously grab a picture, book, or instrument that helps them explain their feelings or experience. As therapists, we don’t usually get that kind of spontaneity or context in our office.

On coping with the pandemic: Mark’s done his own work enough to realize that for him to cope effectively with any situation, he needs two things: variety and access to “doing stuff.” He identifies as a kinesthetic processor, or someone who does better with movement when processing. Things like woodworking, being out in nature, or throwing a ball back and forth, helps him digest what he needs about the world. True to form, there isn’t “one way” that works best for him all the time. That’s why he enjoys a variety of clients, activities, and approaches to life because it keeps him more engaged and motivated. 

 Walk-Up Song: If you’ve never heard Bishop Gunn’s, “Shine,” it’s a unique combination of Blues, Country, and Rock and Roll that sets the perfect backdrop for a care-free summer scene, like driving with the top down or being out at the beach with friends. While the vibe is relaxed, If you reflect on the lyrics, you’ll hear a clear call-to-action to: find peace of mind, ground yourself, and repair emotional wounds. In other words, the song’s deceivingly simple sound allows for it’s otherwise hyper-conscious lyrics to float out there for us to think about and fully appreciate at our own speeds. For that reason, we think it’s a perfect encapsulation of Mark’s style!

 Professional pet-peeve: Mark’s answer is succinct: “Therapists who don’t normalize feedback to their clients.” Mark doesn’t view feedback as a bad thing. Instead, he thinks feedback can make therapy, and most relationships, more productive because it creates an open dialogue on how it’s going and what can work better. By helping clients get more comfortable with feedback, he hopes clients will feel more comfortable advocating for themselves. 

 Favorite tool in the Therapist Toolbox: He’s about solutions, not particular skill sets. That’s why he borrows from modalities like Solution-Focused and Narrative approaches to therapy. But if there was one tool he had to identify with, he picked Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). When asked why, he said because “it’s the one most focused on going from unhelpful to helpful thinking,” and thinks he gets “a ton of energy” from collaborating with clients on finding and applying the right re-frame for them. 

If you think Mark might be a fit for you, or have any additional questions about his approach, please reach out to our team at bizoffice@birchcounseling.com.

Spotlight with Mark Bartley: CBT Therapy

To keep with the food analogies, if Mark is like “Meat and Potatoes,” then Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is the “Bread and Butter” of modern psychology. In other words, it’s the Hallmark or cornerstone to a lot of the work clinicians do. CBT can be used with individuals, groups, or couples. It works to treat common issues, such as depression and anxiety, but also offers the option to specialize in a more concentrated scope, such as with Trauma (TF-CBT) or Insomnia (CBT-I). And it often works for people regardless of their age, race, or background. So why does a guy who likes variety borrow most heavily from one style? 

To provide some context for his rationale, Mark wasn’t especially interested in school growing up. Frankly, he found it boring. It wasn’t until he went to college and took his first psychology class that he even understood how to make learning work for him: it had to be applied. Experiences that had historically gone unnamed for him, things like “Automatic Thoughts” and “Cognitive Distortions” were now not only nameable, but also normalized enough that they were being taught in class. They were relatable. They had solutions. And the solutions made sense!

 What Mark liked about CBT roughly a decade ago is still what he likes about it today: it makes sense and it can be applied in the moment with clients. Having thoughts you can’t control? Experiencing distress that is out of proportion to the situation? CBT helps you re-author your thinking by helping you slow it down and more objectively assess how your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors are all interacting with each other. And it does so without judgement. In fact, one of the core assumptions is that almost all people experience distress from how we interpret ourselves, others, and our world. By teaching people how to recognize what’s helpful/unhelpful about their thinking, observe themselves, and challenge their assumptions through small behavioral experiments, we can increase our faith in our own ability to respond to stressors differently. 

 CBT has a variety of tools that can be used to get you from where you feel stuck to where you’re trying to go. That’s also part of why Mark likes it. If you’re the kind of person who does well with journaling? Great! Prefer experiential learning through debate or role plays? That works too! CBT isn’t about a tool-box, it’s an entire tool shed. That means that regardless of your issue or perceived level of distress, CBT can be tailored to meet the needs of any individual without losing it’s core principle: if we want your feelings and behaviors to change, we have to change how you think about things. For Mark, there’s a “best of both worlds” element to that: familiar and flexible, customized and generalized, both in theory and practice.

 Mark knows when CBT has been effective because clients “don’t need [him] to think of different ways they can interpret or respond to the situation anymore.” Essentially, he wants to teach you how to talk yourself out of needing him. Mark also realizes that new things come up over time, and the kinds of thinking you once had managed might come back with a vengeance. Don’t fret! He’ll be here to help you reflect, reframe, and re-work new adversities, should they arise along the way. 

Welcoming in May: Brian Rose, MA, LADC

Brian worked as a professional bicycle mechanic for 29 years. This allowed him to travel around the country and connect with people from all over. He enjoys spending time on the bike, meeting people and trying to learn to fly a drone. 

After working in the bicycle industry for so long he found himself working for a non-profit that focused on underserved communities. He  envisioned doing more for people and decided to change careers. His own journey with mental health and recovery lead him down the path to becoming a counselor. He earned his master’s degree in Addiction counseling and advanced practice from Hazelden Betty Ford Graduate School. He received a Bachelor’s in Psychology with a religious studies minor (focused on Islam) from Hamline University. 

Brian believes that his clients are the experts in their own lives. He brings an existential approach to therapy that focuses on meaning, purpose and personal identity. Brian feels his role in the therapeutic relationship is to create an environment where a sense of safety and acceptance allow for openness and collaboration.  Brian enjoys working with clients on topics around culture, identity and helping find where they meet.

Trade-in Your New Year’s Resolutions for SMARTER Goals This Year

In a normal year, January would be our starting-point for identifying all the changes we want to make in the next 12 months. But this isn’t a normal year, and as a means of coping with the uncertainty and disappointments of 2020, many of us started making our resolution list a little early this year. Birthdays, holidays, and traditions only feel remotely tolerable right now because we are promising ourselves that we will have more memorable ones next year. Similar to promising ourselves we would use that gym membership more, or spend less, or whatever resolution you tend towards, we often find ourselves at great (or even guaranteed) risk of disappointment. 

Part of why this happens is because humans have a predisposition towards thinking errors, also known as cognitive distortions, which cause us to struggle to identify what is realistic. One of the hardest cognitive distortions to overcome is referred to as magical thinking, and it can frequently be found masquerading as its healthier counterpart, positive thinking. These two are difficult to distinguish from each other because, fundamentally, they are not all that different. Each side wants things to be better, require belief that all parts involved have the capacity to change, and both can contribute to an optimistic outlook on the horizon. We need to have faith things can be different, and that we can feel different, perhaps now more than ever. 

Where positive, or magical, thinking tips over into unhealthy territory is when we set expectations that are impossible to achieve, unintentionally keeping us stuck in unhealthy patterns. When we set these kinds of expectations for ourselves, others, or institutions, we are engaging in what the 12-step community commonly refers to as “premeditated resentments.” We end up building logs of evidence, expectations and failures, compounding hurt and disappointment, increasing our pressure and avoidance of the behaviors needed to succeed. It is, in short, a set-up-to-fail. And no one needs any unnecessary hardship next year. Luckily, there is a better way, and you don’t need therapy to do it. 

Some of you might be familiar with SMART goals, which stands for: Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic, and Timely. Therapists often use this acronym when setting goals and objectives for client treatment plans. If increasing health is a goal, we ask you specifically what you mean by that—how would you measure your success? Is it achievable for you in your given context and circumstance? Do you have evidence you have the capacity to do it at the level you are setting out for, or should we lower the bar just a bit to help you gain your confidence? Every few months, we check back in about these goals and revise them based on how you have been doing, not what you thought you would be capable of. Missed a day of exercise because you were sick? Sure! Missed a day of exercise because you skipped Monday and so the whole week is basically a moot point? We can work on that! 

However, at home, we encourage the SMARTER approach, adding: Expectations and Rigidity to the mix. Ensure that you are expecting some setbacks and failures along the way, and that your expectations aren’t outside of your control (like wanting a parent or partner to change). Assess if your goals are too rigid (it can only happen in this way at these times in this way), or are too weak under external fluctuations (like needing to move or a job change). Through taking the SMARTER approach, you can mitigate the risks of over-relying on positive thinking, let go of thinking errors and thoughts about how things “should be”, and cultivate the resilience and mental flexibility to make the most out of how things actually are. This should allow you to work smarter, not harder, on all the ways you’ll make 2021 the best it can be. 

Wishing you all a Happier, Healthier, and SMARTER 2021!

The Winter is Coming: Managing Mental Health Outside of Therapy

Those ominous words from Game of Thrones have taken on totally new (and dare we say intensified) meaning to Minnesotans this year. In an average year, the National Institute on Mental Health reports that Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) impacts millions of Americans annually, lasts 40% of the year, and disproportionately impacts people living in the Northern parts of the country. This year, compounded by the pandemic, people who study and suffer from mental health are expecting this winter to be one of the worst on record. And similar to how hospital beds fill up with patients when there’s a virus outbreak, therapists have started filling up as we start to deal with the first wave of the mental health crisis. 

 So what do you do if you need to supplement therapy, can’t find a therapist, or don’t have the resources to get regular mental health care? We’ve got some tips to help you fight the good fight at home. 

1. Try An App or Two

   • Track your mood so you know where you are at in an objective way: Daylio and eMoods are two popular choices, but there are many more to explore!

   • Practice your skills at home with ACT iCoach, What’s Up, or DBT Diary Card

   • Increase your practice of caring for you: Happy Not Perfect, Grateful, and Sleep Cycle help you take the headache out of self-care.

   • Use an app to use less apps: OffTime helps take the shaming out of screen-time management

2. Offline Solutions

   • Workbooks: There are so many, it’s hard to know where to start! You can find one based on an issue (anxiety, depression, self-esteem) or pick based on a particular approach that appeals to you (ACT, CBT, DBT). Whichever you choose, these can be great ways to increase insight, coping, and positive change.

   • SAD Lamp: Sure, it may seem silly, but these powerful lamps help you get your daily dose of sunshine, even on the most cloudy of days.

   • Body Maintenance: We all know to eat right, exercise, and take care of our bodies, and try to do it when we have the time and energy to. When we aren't attuned to our bodies, it can be easy to ignore or explain things away that actually might have an organic cause. Going to your doctor and making sure your vitamin levels are at their levels and that we have optimized what we have control over can be empowering. If you think it's needed or appropriate, talk to them about your mood and if any if there are any solutions, natural or pharmaceutical, that might be appropriate. We do maintenance updates on our phones and cars... we might as well do it for ourselves, too.

3. Done Everything? Try Alternative Solutions:

   • Healing crystals: Change up the energy in your life and ground yourself with some stones

   • Try something natural: Harvard Medical School found some benefits to things like St. John's Wort and Omega-3 Fats for mental health.

   • Try a homeopathic solution: Acupuncture, Massage, and Aroma Therapy might not feel as legitimate, but their benefits have been well researched and studied. If you've tried everything else, it might be worth a new approach.

4. Get Fancy (When/If Appropriate)

   • Meditate, with training wheels: Use a brain-sensing headband and app combination, like Muse, to give you bio-feedback on how you're doing on your practice of daily meditation.

   • Get your frequency right: Brain stimulators, like Fisher Wallace, can be helpful in treating and managing chronic issues of insomnia, depression, and anxiety.

   • Get your rhythm right: HearMath is a program to get your heart and your brain in sync.

Still unsure about how you're going to make it through the winter, give us a call or email us and we'll be happy to connect you to the right resources for you!

HOLIDAYS DURING THE PANDEMIC: ADAPTING OUR TRADITIONS

We like to anticipate the holidays. This special time includes food, family, friends, and a built-in break from the daily grind. 

However even in the best of holiday circumstances, sometimes the idea of the holidays is more enjoyable than the reality. With all organizing, cleaning and cooking, combined with the uncertainty of who will show up, it's no wonder a 2014 survey found that "64% of people with mental illness report holidays make their conditions worse."  In 2020 we need to add to the mix chronic uncertainty, cabin fever, a pandemic, and a special stocking-stuffer: Ambiguous Loss. 

Ambiguous loss differs from traditional loss in that the loss itself is unclear; we don't fully know what or how much we have lost or if it's ever going to return to what used to be. Symptoms of ambiguous loss can include anxiety, depression, grief, and difficulty in making decisions.

Holiday rituals can be a powerful tool to help us feel a sense of familiarity and help us bounce back from feeling off. Since practicing most traditions is complicated during the pandemic, some non-traditional takes on holiday classics can help: 

Keep the Best Parts

• Getting together with loved ones: Start quarantining two weeks in advance and get a rapid covid test before getting together, keep groups small, and ensure that your group is all on the same page with social distancing practices.

• Sharing Food with Loved Ones: Create a plan to divide the cooking between family or friends and drop off portions for each household.

• Eating with loved ones remotely: Set up computers or cell phones with their own place settings; each device can correspond to a different person or household so everyone can still gather at the table and eat together. Or decide to eat together at a virtual table. Games like Animal Crossing, Minecraft, and Sims allow people, in avatar form, to gather around a table and eat in real-time.

• Hanging out Virtually with Loved Ones: Set up online games you all can play together through programs like JackBoxGames.com or HouseParty.co

Be creative with the Challenging Parts

• Guests who stop by unexpectedly: Keep a Zoom room open all day and send out your link to loved ones. People will be able to pop in and surprise you all day.

• The Stress of Cooking for an Army: Try a few recipes you've always wanted to make because this year, the pressure is off. Or even better, avoid the stress of cooking altogether and support a local restaurant by ordering your dinner to go.

• Awkward Conversations with Family: Get an awkward conversation card deck to get to know your household better or get them more prepared for next year's embarrassing moments.

• Going broke Buying (and shipping) Gifts: A "round-robin" gift exchange--with a set budget-- for different households is easier and cheaper than buying gifts for every person. You can also purchase a gift card or have food delivered from a local restaurant, make a gift donation to a charity, or encourage self-care with care packages!

For most people, 2020 has been a challenging year. If you or a loved one are struggling, are experiencing mental health concerns over this holiday season, or simply feel stuck on how to combat the holiday blues, please reach out to us at Birch Counseling. We are here to help. 

What Trauma Looks Likes →

In this powerful short film from producers Nathanael Matanick and Christina Matanick, we witness the impact of domestic violence on a young girl.  The consequences of her caregivers’ violence are far-reaching.  The girl's world is shattered, her family breaks apart, and her life is turned up-side-down.   

This is trauma.

This film shows graphically how trauma fragments the world outside.  But it also depicts how the world within is injured.  Trauma undermines self-esteem and erodes trust,  setting the stage for difficulties ahead.

As difficult as it is to watch,  the film illuminates the core elements of trauma.  It offers a starting place for understanding, repair, and hope.

Stress in a Stressful Time

Even if your life before this year was relatively smooth sailing, likely, you are not making it through this year unscathed. After all, who could mentally prepared for civil unrest, unemployment, natural disasters, and a global pandemic all at once?

The dramatic events of 2020 are especially difficult for those with a trauma history. People with trauma include those whose past is marked by economic insecurity, frequent moving, homelessness, food insecurity, sudden or unexpected loss, or medical trauma.

Trauma survivors typically develop an “Early Warning System,” alerting against perceived danger. For example, suppose your parents fought a lot when you were a child. In that case, you are likely to be especially sensitive to tension, conflict, or discord around you. This additional sensitivity offers insight as to why today’s upheavals are incredibly stressful for trauma survivors.

 If this sounds like you or someone you know, what can you do?

Become fully aware of your feelings and name them.

If you’re watching the news at home and feel panic starting to flood your system, become consciously aware of your reactions. After acknowledging your feelings, recall that you have heightened sensitivity to current events because of your past traumas. Try watching the feelings as, in most cases, they will fade in time. Also, this is an excellent time to change your environment, like going for a walk.

Use your support system.

By putting your truth on the table with someone you trust and acknowledging the impact it’s having on you, you’re gaining control over the uncontrollable. You’re also modeling to others that it’s okay for them to share with you. If you have a limited support system, it might help do some resourcing online or in therapy.

Self-care is important.

Stretching, yoga, journaling, meditation, cooking, or watching comedy can help you feel safe and present. Taking good care of ourselves requires making your needs a priority. As we take better care of ourselves, we will show up as a better partner, parent, worker, and friend.  

If what helps you happens to be watching puppy videos on Instagram, please tag us so we can also enjoy a little puppy Prozac!

Be kind to yourself.

The world was stressful before 2020, and it certainly doesn’t seem to be winding down any time soon. Allow yourself to feel sad, scared, stressed, exhausted—whatever comes up. Give yourself time to acknowledge and validate these feelings. You may find it helpful to acknowledge at least one positive for every negative thing you noticed.Are you struggling to go back into the office? Remember that you now have half the traffic you used to  Struggling trusting yourself? Remember, it’s okay to not feel like the authority after your entire world has changed. Ask someone you trust what their honest evaluation is of the situation.

Making small adjustments like this work to help you to keep you in balance.

If there was ever an appropriate time to feel a little crazy, this is it. If you find that your internal alarms are going off an awful lot lately, remember you are hardly alone, and at least you know your system is working! Finally, if you are struggling to turn them off, we are happy to connect you with help. Feel free to call us at 866-522-2472 or drop us a line at bizoffice@birchcounseling.com.  

Welcoming in August: Mark Bartley, MA, LPC

Mark earned his Master’s Degree in Counseling Psychology from the University of St. Thomas. He sees therapy as a safe place to discuss life’s problems, stresses, and relationships where no topics are off limits. An empathetic and authentic experience is important to him with a goal of helping clients improve their quality of life, meeting them wherever they may be. Mark enjoys working with teens and adults who are struggling with anxiety, depression, and relationship issues. Personally, Mark enjoys all things outdoors certainly anything by the water or fishing is a plus. 

Welcoming in June: Pamela Hyatt, MSW, LICSW

We are delighted to announce that Pam Hyatt, MSW, LICSW will join our team on June 8, 2020.

Pam (she, her) enjoys working with children, adolescents, and adults ranging from serious, persistent mental illness, sexual offending behavior, anxiety, loss, gender identity issues to reinventing individuals in search for meaning, balance, or strength.  She arrives with an eclectic, background rich in creative opportunities starting in theater, politics, business, healthcare, inpatient psychiatry and outpatient behavioral health.  

Pam holds a masters in Organizational Leadership and a masters in Clinical Social Work from the University of St. Thomas and St. Catherine University.  She uses evidence-based approaches that are founded in holistic, mind-body and trauma-informed therapy. Pam is deeply respectful of each individual’s needs.

Pam finds joy in nature just sitting or taking a walk in the woods with her husband and dog. She enjoys renovation shows, design, color, viewing edgy movies, reading, going to the theater, visiting family in Southern California and loves all that is quirky.

“I hold a firm belief that we are more alike than different and are but a minute from being in each other’s shoes.” 

Pam Hyatt, MSW, LICSW

Thriving in Social Isolation: part two

In my first post I featured the advice from astronaut Chris Hadfield on thriving while being socially isolated.  In this post I feature guidance from an another expert in social isolation, submariner Jon Bailey.  Like an astronaut in space, isolation for a submariner involves living in a high-risk environment, which in some ways parallels our situation with the COVID -19 pandemic.  

In his Twitter feed Bailey recommends:

ROUTINE: life at sea is dictated by shifts and routines. You can tell what day it was by what was for dinner. Make a routine now, test it and then write it down. Stick to it. Divide your day up into work, rest, exercise, meals, hobbies, etc. Do the same for kids.

PRIVACY: the only place private at sea was your bunk. Make a dedicated private time/place in the routine. Even if you timeshare the front room, give everyone a couple of hours alone. Do whatever you want: watch bad films, pray, yoga, arrange matches - whatever gets you through.

EAT: scran (food) onboard was usually pretty good and broke up the monotony of patrols. Take time to prepare meals. A good mix of “feast & famine” will stop the pounds piling on.

EXERCISE: you’ll have the advantage of not having to use a spinning bike in a switchboard (a very cramped area on a submarine). Exercise 20-30 mins a day at minimum. Fitness Blender on YouTube has workouts for all. It’s a natural antidepressant, breaks up the day, and keeps you healthy. Get outside when able.

CLEAN: that house is going to get grungy now that you’re spending a lot more time in it. Put time in your daily routine to clean and stick to it.

CONNECT: even during radio silence submariners still get a weekly message from loved ones back home. Bailey notes this was a weekly highlight. Keep in touch with your people. Arrange for a daily “coffee” catch up with coworkers online even if there’s no work to discuss.

PERSPECTIVE: like all other challenges, this one will end. It can be hard, but it is “better than dodging barrel bombs.” Don’t obsess over the news. Bring your world closer, focus on little things that you enjoy & make plans for the future.

Bailey, J. (2020, March 20). Retrieved March 22, 2020, from https://twitter.com/SloopJontyB/status/1241134014725066754?s=20

THRIVING DURING SOCIAL ISOLATION

Of all the adjustments we need to make during the COVID-19 pandemic perhaps the most challenging is learning to live with social isolation.  In this post I am sharing a link which features undoubtably an expert in social isolation, astronaut Chris Hadfield, who has spent many months on the International Space Station.  Hadfield encourages embracing these challenging times including enjoying the slower pace and perhaps learning something new.

Hadfield also points out that living on the International Space Station, like living through a pandemic, involves being isolated in a high-risk environment.  

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4uL5sqe5Uk8&feature=youtu.be

Hadfield offers the following key points:

Know the Risks.  Hadfield recommends that we go to a reliable source to understand “what is truly the risk you are facing.”  This clarity will help you stay balanced and “not be afraid of everything.”

Create Clear Goals.  Hadfield says it is important to set goals for the next day, next week, and month.  Goals give structure to your life.

Acknowledge your Constrains. Who is telling you what you need to do?  What financial resources do you have? What are your obligations?

Take Action. Once you are informed on actual risks and you have set your goals keeping in mind realistic constraints, take action.  Aside from taking care of your family and yourself, Hadfield suggest that you can try things you have never done before.  He points out that with the Internet and all that it allows access to “there is never been a better time to self-isolate.”

Sourced from:

Hadfield, C. (2020, March 21). An Astronaut's Guide to Self Isolation. Retrieved March 22, 2020, from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4uL5sqe5Uk8&feature=youtu.be

Accepting what is versus chasing happy

Somewhere, somehow most of us have learned that a happy life means never having to feel anything other than positive emotions.  When sadness visits, or anger, or disappointment, it feels sick, like something is wrong with us. It feels as though we are not enough, our lives are not enough.  We try to distract from negatives and chase happy feelings, only to fall short again and again.

What if we could learn to work with these “negative” feelings in a way that better informs us?  Accepting and being curious about the entire range of our emotions can help us become more compassionate, healthy and ultimately more resilient.  

Breaking news: Office Canine Willow loses mind over SNOW

As you all know, we had our first big snow of the season and Willow LOVED it. How can we tell? Uh, she ran through the white stuff in circles, jumped into the big piles…also ate it. She turns nine months on Dec. 6th and already weighs in at over 60 lbs. Willow will be sharing Thanksgiving with her parents and delight in snow as well as baked sweet potato treats. Feel free to ask our Office Manager Hannah for the recipe. Make sure to stop by Hannah’s desk in Golden Valley, say ‘hi’ to Willow (caution: expect to be showered with affection) and let her show off her favorite tattered toy.

As for recent accomplishments: Willow graduated from intermediate obedience and begins advanced training in January. She will then be able to take the Canine Good Citizenship test and begin therapy dog training. Yay, Willow!

Considering a better Life? Please Read Further.

Everyone needs guidance in life. Think about all the stages of life; someone taught us how to walk, how to talk, and how to feed ourselves. Later in life we need support in learning how to drive, how to manage finances, how to study, and how to get a job. Many of us seek guidance for the basic necessities of life. So when it comes to how to manage feelings of low self-worth, depression, anxiety, stress, crisis in relationships, and chemical use concerns, why is there often hesitation to seek support? Let’s address some of these barriers below:

"The problem is not that bad"

Sure, things might be going okay, but why be satisfied with an unsatisfying lifestyle? If we catch the concerns early, we can prevent the problem from getting worse. Often, symptoms of prolonged stress or sadness are the warning signs that some area in our life may need further attention. It’s just like seeing the doctor when you have minor pain for preventative care.

“I should be able to handle these concerns on my own; others seem to manage fine without professional support”

Others manage the problem because they did receive support. The support doesn’t always have to come from a professional. Our parents and caretakers are given the responsibility to navigate us through life, but they don’t always have the tools to navigate through every problem in life, or it may be something they are not familiar with. Many of us did not have the proper guidance from their family because of an absent/abusive parent or the parent was never given the tools to cope with the problem themselves. A trusted counselor, teacher, respected leader, or family member can give to us what we never received in the first place.

Stigma around seeking support for mental health

Many people would not hesitate to take off of work to address a serious injury or illness; yet they neglect their own mental well-being? The stigma around “mental health” is being addressed better than ever now, but it still exists. Everyone is prone to sadness, stress, traumatic experiences, insecurity and fear. If you were to deny ever experiencing any negative thoughts or emotions, then you would either be a robot or be in denial (see below). The healthy person is the one that gains insight into these symptoms and obtains support in addressing them.

“I don’t have a problem or the problem is not with me”

One of the hardest steps in anyone’s life is to admit they have a problem or need support. To admit we have a problem means we have to take a hard look at our life. It may mean that we have to change. Change can be a difficult process; things would be easier if they just stay the same. But defensiveness and denial ignore the truth and the role your actions play in any given scenario. The consequences to denial can be loss of relationships, and having areas in life that never improve or never receiving access to a person that can assist you in growth.

You see the doctor for medical concerns, an advisor for your finances, a lawyer for legal concerns. A counselor or therapist can offer you guidance through some of life’s most difficult, complicated and painful circumstances. Receiving counsel is a gift, and without it we risk going through life lost, frustrated, or unsatisfied. Don’t ignore the warning signs and schedule with a licensed professional near you to address your concerns.