Shujianing holds a Master's degree in Mental Health Counseling from the Lynch School of Education at Boston College. She has worked and trained in different clinical settings, including college mental health, psychiatric inpatient, and intensive outpatient programming. She is pursuing a PhD in Counseling Psychology. Shujianing self-identifies as a queer 1.5-generation Chinese American woman. She is passionate about working with individuals from diverse ethnoracial, immigration, and class backgrounds and with different sexual orientations and gender identities. Shujianing believes the best treatment approach is personalized and emerges through equal collaboration with her clients. She often draws inspiration from relational-cultural and emotion-focused frameworks and uses somatic and cognitive-behavioral techniques. Shujianing offers services in English and Mandarin Chinese and will be joining our Golden Valley office.
Welcoming January 15: Student Therapist Kaelyn Dagon
Kaelyn currently is a graduate student at the Saint Mary’s Master’s Counseling and Psychological Services Program. She is working toward becoming a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor (LPCC). Kaelyn received her bachelors degree in psychology from the University of Wisconsin Oshkosh. She is passionate about working with emerging adults, older adolescents, and professionals in education with a focus on life changes, stress, occupation burnout, goal-setting, performance enhancement, anxiety, and depression. She enjoys working with a diverse population of individuals from different backgrounds and cultures and believes in incorporating one's unique experience into their healing journey. She looks forward to building a safe and welcoming environment where clients are able to build skills in order to achieve their goals. Kaelyn incorporate strategies and concepts from Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, mindfulness based and strength based practices, Narrative Therapy, art therapy, and strengths-based approaches.
In her free time, Kaelyn I enjoys working out, listening to music, watching sports, painting and spending time with family and friends.
Trade-in Your New Year’s Resolutions for SMARTER Goals This Year
In a normal year, January would be our starting-point for identifying all the changes we want to make in the next 12 months. But this isn’t a normal year, and as a means of coping with the uncertainty and disappointments of 2020, many of us started making our resolution list a little early this year. Birthdays, holidays, and traditions only feel remotely tolerable right now because we are promising ourselves that we will have more memorable ones next year. Similar to promising ourselves we would use that gym membership more, or spend less, or whatever resolution you tend towards, we often find ourselves at great (or even guaranteed) risk of disappointment.
Part of why this happens is because humans have a predisposition towards thinking errors, also known as cognitive distortions, which cause us to struggle to identify what is realistic. One of the hardest cognitive distortions to overcome is referred to as magical thinking, and it can frequently be found masquerading as its healthier counterpart, positive thinking. These two are difficult to distinguish from each other because, fundamentally, they are not all that different. Each side wants things to be better, require belief that all parts involved have the capacity to change, and both can contribute to an optimistic outlook on the horizon. We need to have faith things can be different, and that we can feel different, perhaps now more than ever.
Where positive, or magical, thinking tips over into unhealthy territory is when we set expectations that are impossible to achieve, unintentionally keeping us stuck in unhealthy patterns. When we set these kinds of expectations for ourselves, others, or institutions, we are engaging in what the 12-step community commonly refers to as “premeditated resentments.” We end up building logs of evidence, expectations and failures, compounding hurt and disappointment, increasing our pressure and avoidance of the behaviors needed to succeed. It is, in short, a set-up-to-fail. And no one needs any unnecessary hardship next year. Luckily, there is a better way, and you don’t need therapy to do it.
Some of you might be familiar with SMART goals, which stands for: Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic, and Timely. Therapists often use this acronym when setting goals and objectives for client treatment plans. If increasing health is a goal, we ask you specifically what you mean by that—how would you measure your success? Is it achievable for you in your given context and circumstance? Do you have evidence you have the capacity to do it at the level you are setting out for, or should we lower the bar just a bit to help you gain your confidence? Every few months, we check back in about these goals and revise them based on how you have been doing, not what you thought you would be capable of. Missed a day of exercise because you were sick? Sure! Missed a day of exercise because you skipped Monday and so the whole week is basically a moot point? We can work on that!
However, at home, we encourage the SMARTER approach, adding: Expectations and Rigidity to the mix. Ensure that you are expecting some setbacks and failures along the way, and that your expectations aren’t outside of your control (like wanting a parent or partner to change). Assess if your goals are too rigid (it can only happen in this way at these times in this way), or are too weak under external fluctuations (like needing to move or a job change). Through taking the SMARTER approach, you can mitigate the risks of over-relying on positive thinking, let go of thinking errors and thoughts about how things “should be”, and cultivate the resilience and mental flexibility to make the most out of how things actually are. This should allow you to work smarter, not harder, on all the ways you’ll make 2021 the best it can be.
Wishing you all a Happier, Healthier, and SMARTER 2021!
