Unraveling Emotional Eating: Why We Eat Our Feelings

Have you ever grabbed a bag of chips after a tough day or reached for chocolate when you’re feeling down? That’s emotional eating—turning to food to cope with feelings like stress, sadness, or boredom, instead of eating because your body needs fuel. Unlike eating to satisfy physical hunger, emotional eating is driven by emotions and can lead to overeating, weight gain, and feelings of guilt or regret.

Here’s the deal: emotional eating is like using food as a cozy blanket to soothe negative emotions. It’s not about enjoying a meal but about finding quick comfort. Research points to several reasons why this happens:

• Strict Dieting: Constantly restricting food can make you more likely to eat when emotions run high.

• Missing Hunger Cues: Some people struggle to tell if they’re truly hungry or full, so they eat based on feelings instead.

• Trouble Expressing Emotions: Known as alexithymia, difficulty identifying or sharing emotions can lead to using food as a coping tool.

• Stress Responses: A disrupted stress system (like the hypothalamic-pituitary-adrenal axis) can trigger emotional eating.

• Life and Genetics: Childhood experiences, like inconsistent emotional support, or genetic tendencies can make some people more prone to eating when upset.

Emotional eating is closely tied to mental health, especially depression. When you’re feeling low, you might eat for comfort, which can lead to weight gain. That extra weight can make you feel even worse, creating a hard-to-break cycle.

So, what can you do? Research shows mindful eating—paying full attention to your food and your body’s signals—can help. It’s about enjoying your meals without judgment and recognizing whether you’re eating out of hunger or emotion. Tools like mindfulness practices, journaling, or therapy can also teach you healthier ways to handle stress and emotions.

Easy Ways to Eat Mindfully

Want to try mindful eating? Here are some simple tips to get started:

• Ditch Distractions: Put your phone away, turn off the TV, and focus on your meal. Notice and appreciate the colors, smells, and textures.

• Slow Down: Take small bites and chew slowly, savoring each one like it’s a gourmet treat. Pause to check if you’re still hungry or starting to feel full.

• Check Your Mood: Before eating, ask yourself, “Am I physically hungry, or am I stressed or bored?” This quick check-in can make a big difference.

• Choose Feel-Good Foods: Pick a juicy piece of fruit over a candy bar, or enjoy a smaller portion of your favorite treat—savor every bite!

Mindful eating helps you enjoy food, manage stress, and build healthier habits. It can lead to eating less, feeling fuller, and breaking free from the cycle of emotional eating. Learning to manage emotions is a key part of this journey, helping you feel more in control and confident.

If you’re ready to tackle emotional eating or want tips for healthier ways to cope with stress, we’re here to help! Reach out to us at (866) 522-2472 for support in finding balance and feeling better.

Unveiling the Trap of Avoidance: A Path to Conquer Depression

Have you ever felt so weighed down by depression that the mere thought of getting out of bed feels like climbing a mountain? The daily grind—stressors, social interactions, even routine tasks—can sap every ounce of energy, leaving you drained and hopeless. As depression lingers, the world dims: job prospects seem bleak, connections with others fray, and activities that once sparked joy now feel hollow. Life becomes a cycle of exhaustion, with little light at the end of the tunnel.

In these moments, we instinctively gravitate toward comfort. It’s human nature to seek relief, to escape the weight of our struggles. Maybe it’s the allure of staying in bed, where worries can’t touch you for just a little longer. Or perhaps it’s diving into an addictive TV series, letting eight seasons of drama drown out reality. Isolation, too, can feel like a safe cocoon, shielding you from the chaos of the world. These retreats—sleep, binge-watching, solitude—offer a fleeting sense of peace. But what happens when they become daily habits? The harsh truth is, the misery doesn’t vanish. You wake up each morning to the same struggles, unchanged and unrelenting.

This is where avoidance sneaks in, masquerading as a friend. Avoidance is depression’s sly accomplice, offering quick fixes that feel good in the moment but leave you empty in the long run. Picture this: after a painful breakup, you hit the bar to numb the hurt. The next day, you’re not just nursing a hangover but also wrestling with deeper regret and spiraling thoughts—maybe even legal troubles if a DUI enters the picture. Avoidance doesn’t solve problems; it often creates new ones.

Here’s the tricky part: avoidance isn’t always obvious. It can hide in seemingly positive activities. Exercise, for instance, is universally praised as healthy. But what if you’re hitting the gym to dodge a social event or avoid studying for a crucial exam? Suddenly, that “healthy” habit becomes a barrier to progress. The same activity can wear different faces: a nap to recharge for a productive day is worlds apart from a third nap to sidestep a job search. Avoidance is personal, shapeshifting based on your intentions.

But here’s the good news: recognizing avoidance as the enemy is the first step toward breaking free. Enter Behavioral Activation, a powerful therapy that shines a light on these patterns and offers a roadmap to healthier coping. Lost your job? The urge to sleep, vent, or drown your sorrows might be overwhelming. But instead, imagine channeling that energy into action—polishing your resume, scouring job boards, or networking. It’s not easy, especially when you feel defeated. Yet, taking those small, deliberate steps can spark a shift in your mood. Action breeds momentum, and momentum fuels hope.

You don’t have to fight this battle alone. Surrounding yourself with supportive people—friends, family, or a therapist—can keep you accountable and remind you that you’re not defined by your struggles. Waiting for the “perfect” mood to tackle your goals is a trap; start now, and the mood will follow.

Ready to break the cycle? Let’s stop avoiding and start acting. The path out of depression is tough, but every step forward is a victory.

Loss and Heartbreak

Hey there, losing something or someone dear to you can feel like a punch to the gut, can’t it? Just because they’re gone doesn’t mean your love or care for them vanishes. Grief and loss? They’re heavy, like a weight that makes you want to crawl back under the covers. Whether it’s a breakup, a loved one passing, losing a job, or feeling your health slip, the pain can hit hard.

We get so used to the rhythm of our lives—those familiar faces, routines, or abilities—that when they’re suddenly gone, it’s like our hearts can’t catch up. It’s hard to wrap your head around the fact that what you cherished isn’t there anymore. For some, it’s a quiet ache. For others, it feels like a gaping hole in your chest, so deep you’re scared it’ll swallow you whole if you let yourself feel it. And sometimes, it’s even messier—maybe you’re angry or relieved, and that tangles up with the sadness in ways that make no sense.

But here’s the thing: your heart’s a muscle, and yeah, it can watermark and tear so it can heal stronger. Riding those waves of grief isn’t easy—it’s okay to take it slow, to let yourself feel a little at a time. Be kind to yourself; this stuff is tough. With time, the hurt softens, and you’ll find your footing again, maybe a little changed, but still you.

Coping with Seasonal Affective Disorder in Minnesota

Living in Minnesota, where winters are long and sunlight is scarce, Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) can feel like an uninvited guest for many. SAD is more than just disliking the cold—it’s a real condition that affects your mood and energy. The lack of sunlight during those gray, chilly months can lead to Vitamin D deficiency, which disrupts the brain’s ability to produce serotonin and other feel-good chemicals needed to maintain a healthy circadian rhythm.

Brightening Your Winter Days

Fortunately, there are ways to combat the winter blues and keep SAD at bay. Staying active is one of the most effective strategies. Physical activity—whether it’s a brisk walk, hitting the slopes for some winter sports, or simply spending time in nature—can boost your body’s production of serotonin and dopamine, those natural mood-lifters. Connecting with friends or loved ones during these activities can also work wonders for your mental health.

Another helpful tool is a SAD lamp, which mimics natural daylight to lift your mood. While these lamps can brighten your day, they don’t significantly increase Vitamin D production, so supplementation is highly recommended during Minnesota’s sun-starved winters. Consult with a healthcare provider to find the right dosage for you.

SAD in Summer? It Happens.

Though we often associate SAD with cold, dreary winters, it can also strike during the summer months. However, even a brief burst of warmth and sunshine—like those early spring days when the temperature hits 45°F—can feel like a lifeline. In Minnesota, you’ll see folks shedding their coats, donning t-shirts and shorts, and soaking up every ray of sunlight as soon as the weather turns. That hope and joy, which might have felt lost just a day before, start to creep back in, reminding us of the power of light and warmth.

Take the First Step

If you’re struggling with SAD or suspect you might be, you don’t have to face it alone. Our team is here to help. To schedule an appointment with one of our providers, contact our Front Office at 866-522-2472. Let’s work together to bring a little more light into your life, no matter the season.

Welcoming February 3: José Gonzalez, , MSW, LGSW

As a provider José feels it is critical to create an environment where clients can express their innermost thoughts without fear of judgment. Where they can receive consistent, understanding, empathic, and supportive feedback. He strives to give everyone the opportunity to engage in therapy as their authentic selves. José has a master's degree in Social Work. He has worked in inpatient rehabs, community centers, and schools to name a few settings. In those roles he has garnered experience working with people from a variety of backgrounds, and many walks of life. It his mission to foment an accepting therapeutic alliance with anyone who walks through his door regardless of race, ethnicity, gender identity, religion, or any other demographic factor. He utilizes elements from Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, Dialectical Behavior Therapy, Narrative Therapy, and a few other modalities. His hope is to blend technical expertise with a healthy dose of authenticity. He is not looking to work “at” his clients, but with them, to achieve the goals they find most critical. 

Welcoming in January: Dave Smallen, PhD

After nearly a decade exploring the human condition as a social scientist and educator, Dave Smallen (he/him) is joining Birch Counseling as a clinical intern. People who know Dave well describe him as empathetic, curious, enthusiastic, and nonjudgmental. His perspective is that psychological struggles will arise for all of us sometime in life, and that with appropriate support these challenges can paradoxically become the gateway to meaningful growth and new seasons of fulfillment.

Dave is especially informed by existential, person-centered, family systems, feminist, and mindfulness approaches. He is interested in advocating for adults of all backgrounds and identities in deepening their self-knowledge, growing their capacity to live into joy and cope effectively with emotional pain, cultivating mutually supportive relationships, and aligning their everyday lives with their larger purpose—Journeys that he is dedicated to in his own life. 

Dave’s professional experience bridges the arts and sciences. Dave’s first career was as a working musician and he continues to nurture an artistic practice. He holds a PhD in Human Development and Family Studies from University of Wisconsin-Madison, and has published academic papers and studies related to meaningful social connection, responsive relationships, and mindfulness practice. He is currently completing a master’s degree in clinical mental health counseling from Minnesota State University-Moorhead.

Welcoming in August: Madison Garnhardt, MA

Madison (she/her) is a graduate student at Walden University in their Clinical Mental Health Counseling program. She is passionate about working with young children and their families, adolescents, and young adults. As a queer therapist, Madison has a special interest in working with fellow members of the LGBTQIA+ community and those who support queer rights. 

Madison uses a client-centered approach to support clients with empathy, compassion, and understanding of their worldview. Along with this, Madison utilizes mindfulness to help clients connect their physical and emotional reactions to what is happening in their life.

When not working or studying, Madison spends her time reading, playing with her pets, or hanging out at local coffee shops and book stores.

Welcoming in June: Maddy Fiksdal, MA

Maddy has experience working in various roles and settings with adults and adolescents. She graduated with a master’s degree in Counseling for Co-Occurring Disorders from Hazelden Betty Ford Graduate School of Addiction Studies. She is a Licensed Alcohol and Drug Counselor (LADC) and is currently under supervision while working toward Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor (LPCC) licensure.

Maddy is passionate about working with individuals ages 15+ who are experiencing trauma, addiction, anxiety and particularly enjoys working members of the LGBTQIA+ community. Maddy uses a person-centered lens and brings curiosity, empathy, compassion, and humor to her work. She creates a safe environment and builds strong therapeutic relationships. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and Mindful Self-Compassion (MSC) interventions are frequently used tools. Maddy is trained in Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR).

Outside of work, Maddy enjoys spending time with friends and family. She loves crossword puzzles, watching movies, and reading. Maddy enjoys rock climbing and tries to be outdoors as much as possible.

Welcoming in April: Carmen Avendano, MA, LMFT

Carmen has fifteen years of experience as a Mental Health Professional, twenty-five years of experience as a cross-cultural trainer and over thirty years of experience as a teacher, including the past ten years as an assistant professor for Counseling Psychology, Health and Human Services, and Marriage & Family Therapy graduate programs at St. Mary’s University of Minnesota.

Carmen is passionate about helping her clients achieve their goals and finding effective ways to deal with life’s challenges. It is her goal to help clients heal, achieve their fullest potential, have mutually supportive relationships and improve their overall well being. Carmen offers client centered care and understands the power of diversity, equity, and inclusion. 

JOINING US IN AUGUST: SONIA COBOS, MS

Sonia (she/her) is passionate about mental health and behavioral science and considers herself privileged to work in this field.  Sonia recently completed a Master’s degree in rehabilitation and addiction counseling. Her training was focused on addiction and mental health counseling, including the special needs of individuals living with disability, congenital or acquired.

Sonia takes a holistic and goal-oriented Adlerian approach. Informed by this perspective, Sonia believes that the person’s wholeness or holistic nature is irreducible, therefore considering parts of the personality while ignoring others undermines the understanding of the individual. Sonia likes to apply contextual psychology, family system theory, cognitive behavioral therapy, and motivational interviewing in her practice.

As an immigrant, Sonia is mindful of cultural influences as well as the trauma and generational trauma experienced by the immigrant and first and second generation Americans. She approaches multiculturalism as an enriching opportunity to expand our humanity and grow consciousness.

Sonia’s clinical training is patient centered and non-directive. Sonia’s research during graduate school was in neuroplasticity and the promotion of neurogenesis as part of the therapeutic approach for individuals with addictions and co-occurring mental illness.

Sonia enjoys working with individuals of all ages and backgrounds, and has special interest in helping those who experience addictions, domestic violence, developmental trauma, PTSD, grief and traumatic grief, and patients with long-term disability.

Announcing Men's Support Group: Swinging from Birches

We are pleased to announce the beginnings of a new support group, which will be facilitated by Birch Counseling provider Brian Rose, MA, LADC. This group is welcoming men who are facing questions about substance use as well as other pertinent life problems. The group will be held on Monday evenings, 5:00 - 6:30pm at our Hopkins location (904 Mainstreet, #200). If you are interested in becoming a member, please contact our front office at (866) 522-2472, ext. 0. They will be happy to schedule a pre-admission meeting with Brian, who will make sure you are a good fit for the group. This men’s group will be limited to a maximum of 8 active members.

Below is Brian Rose’s description of the group:

The pandemic has been tough. It has broken our connection with many sources of support and the routines that anchored us. This group’s purpose is to connect with other men for support to help answer questions about issues that have arisen in our lives, such as questions about substance use, interpersonal relationships, as well as anxiety and depression. While such issues may have predated the pandemic , the isolation of the lock-downs has made these concerns more visible and pressing for many.

Some of the topics discussed in this group will cover substance use, improving communication in our relationships, repairing connections with friends and family, coping with symptoms of anxiety and depression, and the facing lonliness that has increased with isolation. This will be a process group with a strong focus on learning to connect and trust others.

The group will meet Mondays, from 5:00pm to 6:30pm, in person. 

Birches

Poem by Robert frost

When I see birches bend to left and right
Across the lines of straighter darker trees,
I like to think some boy's been swinging them.
But swinging doesn't bend them down to stay
As ice-storms do. Often you must have seen them
Loaded with ice a sunny winter morning
After a rain. They click upon themselves
As the breeze rises, and turn many-colored
As the stir cracks and crazes their enamel
Soon the sun's warmth makes them shed crystal shells
Shattering and avalanching on the snow-crust —
Such heaps of broken glass to sweep away
You'd think the inner dome of heaven had fallen.
They are dragged to the withered bracken by the load,
And they seem not to break; though once they are bowed
So low for long, they never right themselves:
You may see their trunks arching in the woods
Years afterwards, trailing their leaves on the ground
Like girls on hands and knees that throw their hair
Before them over their heads to dry in the sun.
But I was going to say when Truth broke in
With all her matter-of-fact about the ice-storm
I should prefer to have some boy bend them
As he went out and in to fetch the cows —
Some boy too far from town to learn baseball,
Whose only play was what he found himself,
Summer or winter, and could play alone.
One by one he subdued his father's trees
By riding them down over and over again
Until he took the stiffness out of them,
And not one but hung limp, not one was left
For him to conquer. He learned all there was
To learn about not launching out too soon
And so not carrying the tree away
Clear to the ground. He always kept his poise
To the top branches, climbing carefully
With the same pains you use to fill a cup
Up to the brim, and even above the brim.
Then he flung outward, feet first, with a swish,
Kicking his way down through the air to the ground.
So was I once myself a swinger of birches.
And so I dream of going back to be.
It's when I'm weary of considerations,
And life is too much like a pathless wood
Where your face burns and tickles with the cobwebs
Broken across it, and one eye is weeping
From a twig's having my lashed opened.
I'd like to get away from earth awhile
And then come back to it and begin over.
May no fate willfully misunderstand me
And half grant what I wish and snatch me away
Not to return. Earth's the right place for love:
I don't know where it's likely to go better.
I'd like to go by climbing a birch tree,
And climb black branches up a snow-white trunk
Toward heaven, till the tree could bear no more,
But dipped its top and set me down again.
That would be good both going and coming back.
One could do worse than be a swinger of birches.

Joining us July 1: Laura Linner, MA, LICSW

Laura (she/her) genuinely loves this work and brings authenticity, hope and humor to sessions with individuals and families. She considers it an honor to have the opportunity to walk alongside others in recognizing, accessing, and developing their own resiliency, and in building a rich, full and meaningful life (as they define it!). Laura is mindful of creating a non-judgmental, anti-oppressive, anti-racist, LGBTQIA-affirming space for the clients with whom she works. She views therapy as a collaborative process and values feedback from clients.

Laura’s foundational clinical training is in non-directive Rogerian client-centered therapy from her time as a clinical intern then post-graduate psychotherapy fellow in a group practice in Chicago. This humanistic approach continues to serve as the clinical underpinning of her work with clients. That being said, Laura takes an eclectic approach and aligns with concepts of clinical pragmatism – offering and using what therapeutic intervention works - tailored to each individual. Laura sees therapy as an opportunity to pause, reflect, and take an inventory of how our lives are going, identify what’s working and what isn’t, and make effective change in moving closer to the life we hope for ourselves. Laura brings an attitude of openness, curiosity and compassion with clients. She has benefitted greatly from her own therapy over the years and strives to provide a similarly beneficial experience to those with whom she has the honor of working with.

Laura is trained in, integrates, and draws from a number of therapeutic approaches including Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, trauma-informed therapy (TF-ACT and TF-CBT), CBT for psychosis (CBT-p), ACT for psychosis, psychodynamic theory, polyvagal theory, motivational interviewing, harm-reduction, and also employs a neuroscientific lens to reinforce concepts of regulation, zones of optimal functioning and neuroplasticity/opportunity for growth and change. Laura is also trained in child-centered play therapy from when she worked with youth impacted by domestic violence.

Laura completed her graduate degree in clinical social work at The University of Chicago’s School of Social Service Administration. For the past four years, Laura has worked for the University of Minnesota Department of Psychiatry as an individual and family therapist specializing in first-episode psychosis and schizophrenia spectrum disorders. She has a passion for working with individuals and families in processing new diagnoses and identifying ways of being that work for all who are impacted in their own unique ways. Prior to this, Laura has experience providing therapy and support to individuals in life transitions, relationship challenges, identity exploration and development, finding a sense of meaning and purpose, working through grief and loss, coping with the impact of domestic violence and trauma, and effectively coping with life stressors. She has also worked both internationally and stateside in violence recovery services and human rights work. Diagnostically, Laura has experience working with individuals who have been diagnosed with anxiety, depression, PTSD, OCD, disordered eating, substance use disorders, mood disorders, dissociative disorders, and schizophrenia spectrum disorders.

Laura believes an individual is not their diagnosis, and joins alongside clients to explore meaning of diagnosis in a way that is adaptive and feels authentic to them.

Laura believes life and humans can be messy, confusing, amazing, doubtful, inspired, worried, scared, brave, determined, hopeless, hopeful and many more things all at the same time. Laura is inspired by people’s willingness and ability to move into discomfort, try new ways of being and make change in ways that feel valuable to them, and she is grateful for being able to provide support along the way.

When Laura isn’t working she enjoys reading, spending time with family and friends, snuggling her two cats, needlepointing, watching cooking shows, trying to learn to cook herself, playing outside and learning.

Welcoming in December: Amber Phelps

Amber (they/them) is a Licensed Alcohol and Drug Counselor (LADC) and working toward becoming Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor (LPCC). They are passionate about working with individuals, families, and couples by utilizing harm reduction, trauma-responsive care, and providing culturally affirming therapy to help people embrace recovery from a holistic approach. They are trained in Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) to help survivors of trauma manage symptoms and to assist people to discover their hope from within to achieve their recovery goals. Amber uses a collaborative approach to therapy and is experienced with treating and diagnosing PTSD, depression, anxiety, dissociative disorders, substance use disorders, mood disorders, and schizophrenia spectrum disorders.

They have nearly 10 years of varied experience working with survivors of complex and historical trauma, people experiencing homelessness, substance use treatment, crisis intervention, case management, and community-based harm reduction programs. Amber graduated from St. Mary’s University of Minnesota with a MA in Counseling and Psychological Services and a Graduate Certificate in Addiction Studies. In addition to this, Amber has specialization in working with diverse populations as an intersectional, sex-positive, and social justice oriented therapist.

In their free time, Amber enjoys spending time with their family by hiking, thrift shopping, and going to concerts.

Welcoming in September: Alison Campbell, MSW, LICSW

We are very excited to announce the newest addition to the Birch Counseling Team: Alison Campbell, MSW, LICSW!

Alison enjoys working with both adult individuals and couples across the lifespan from all walks of life. She uses a holistic, mind-body perspective and recognizes that a wide range of past and present influences effect both our individual well being and our relationships. With a collaborative, kind and practical approach, Alison helps people explore patterns that may not be serving them and offers guidance and tools for better coping, balance and resiliency so that they can feel more empowered to make the changes they desire. She uses a strengths based, person centered approach with evidence based practices informed by a blend of frameworks. She has had extensive training in mindfulness and somatic practices.

Alison has experience addressing depression, anxiety, stress reduction, trauma, health issues, substance use, relationship difficulties, grief and loss and personal growth. She has lived on both coasts of the US and has worked with people in a variety of settings including low-come housing, correctional facilities, long term care facilities and hospice and community counseling centers. She received her Master’s degree in Social Work from Washington University in St Louis.

Alison has two children, enjoys good books, good cooking, meeting new people and being in the outdoors. She is also a certified yoga teacher.

Spotlight with Brian Borre: Metacognitive Therapy

Before we get into theory, or how this approach might apply to you, let’s take a detour into language. When used as a prefix in the English language, “meta-”, stemming from the Greek for “after” or “beyond”, means something that goes beyond, to be all-encompassing, or become transcendent. When “Meta” and “Cognitive” are put together, the result essentially means “thinking about thinking.” For example, have you ever had an experience where you’re certain you know the name of something--a person, product, or place--but you can’t recall it? This “tip of the tongue” experience is just one example of how metacognitions work to inform our everyday lives--we’re thinking about how we’re thinking. While most of our meta-processes aren’t so conscious, our metacognitions are in the background actively controlling and influencing our conscious experience of the world, 

Metacognitive Therapy (MCT) focuses on targeting and modifying our deeply held beliefs--the thinking about our thinking--that fosters states of perpetual worry, rumination, and/or fixation. For example, if you say to yourself, “worrying about this keeps me safe,” or “I have no control over my thoughts,” you are both observing your own thinkingand having thoughts about thinking. The goal of MCT is simple: identify, challenge, and reduce what they dub, “Cognitive-Attentional Syndrome” (CAS). CAS is an umbrella term that refers to the kinds of beliefs that imply: we need worry, are incapable of stopping worry, and would be better off if we hyperfocus on tackling each individual worry.  

You might be thinking to yourself, “Birch Counseling, this is starting to sound a lot like CBT,” (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy). The truth is, you aren’t exactly wrong. In CBT, we are dealing with our thoughts. For example, if we were to use CBT to challenge our social anxiety, we might ask ourselves, “how likely will this outcome be, and will it be as bad as we’re thinking it will be?” Essentially, we identify an irrational thought and we challenge it with a more realistic lens. 

In comparison, with MCT, we are dealing with how we think about our thinking. We don’t give a lot of attention to the individual thoughts. Instead, we challenge the thinking around the thoughts themselves by asking ourselves, “should I spend my time worrying if the worry doesn’t make it less likely to happen? And if I already worried about it and made a decision, why am I re-worrying about this when I don’t have any new information?” This process, which encourages us to refuse to engage with unhelpful thinking, is called “Detached Mindfulness.” It works because it isn’t avoidance--it challenges people to view their worry and irrational beliefs as something that is outside of their core, observe the thoughts, stay non-reactive to them, and choose to respond without the preoccupation with worry about worried thinking. 

Why does Brian like it? Besides being a philosophical guy interested in all things “meta” (emotions, beliefs, and communication), Brian saw that CBT wasn’t always helpful with anxious, depressed, or addiction-driven thinking. From his perspective, it can be equally harmful to hyper-focus on our worry if we feel utterly incapable of controlling or changing it. He thinks about it like “giving in to a screaming toddler you know is just seeking attention because they want something from you, and you don’t know how to handle the upset anymore. Ultimately, it doesn’t help you, or them, to keep caving in or feeling totally helpless to stop it.” Instead, you can learn how to provide the tantruming child in your brain--the anxiety, depression, or addiction monster’s voice--the reassurance that you know what’s best, have a plan, can essentially “pivot” yourself out of the situation, or rebound if you make a mistake. It deflates the tantrum in your brain. And that’s a powerful tool. 

If you think Brian might be a fit for you, or have any additional questions about metacognitive therapy, please feel free to reach out to our team at BizOffice@birchcounseling.com. 

References:

1. https://mct-institute.co.uk/therapy/

2. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6246690/#:~:text=Conclusions%3A%20Our%20findings%20indicate%20that,psychotherapies%2C%20including%20cognitive%20behavioral%20interventions.

3. https://mental-health-matters.com/what-is-metacognitive-therapy-and-how-can-it-help-anxiety/

4. https://www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fpsyg.2017.00031/full

Welcoming in May: Brian Rose, MA, LADC

Brian worked as a professional bicycle mechanic for 29 years. This allowed him to travel around the country and connect with people from all over. He enjoys spending time on the bike, meeting people and trying to learn to fly a drone. 

After working in the bicycle industry for so long he found himself working for a non-profit that focused on underserved communities. He  envisioned doing more for people and decided to change careers. His own journey with mental health and recovery lead him down the path to becoming a counselor. He earned his master’s degree in Addiction counseling and advanced practice from Hazelden Betty Ford Graduate School. He received a Bachelor’s in Psychology with a religious studies minor (focused on Islam) from Hamline University. 

Brian believes that his clients are the experts in their own lives. He brings an existential approach to therapy that focuses on meaning, purpose and personal identity. Brian feels his role in the therapeutic relationship is to create an environment where a sense of safety and acceptance allow for openness and collaboration.  Brian enjoys working with clients on topics around culture, identity and helping find where they meet.

The Winter is Coming: Managing Mental Health Outside of Therapy

Those ominous words from Game of Thrones have taken on totally new (and dare we say intensified) meaning to Minnesotans this year. In an average year, the National Institute on Mental Health reports that Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) impacts millions of Americans annually, lasts 40% of the year, and disproportionately impacts people living in the Northern parts of the country. This year, compounded by the pandemic, people who study and suffer from mental health are expecting this winter to be one of the worst on record. And similar to how hospital beds fill up with patients when there’s a virus outbreak, therapists have started filling up as we start to deal with the first wave of the mental health crisis. 

 So what do you do if you need to supplement therapy, can’t find a therapist, or don’t have the resources to get regular mental health care? We’ve got some tips to help you fight the good fight at home. 

1. Try An App or Two

   • Track your mood so you know where you are at in an objective way: Daylio and eMoods are two popular choices, but there are many more to explore!

   • Practice your skills at home with ACT iCoach, What’s Up, or DBT Diary Card

   • Increase your practice of caring for you: Happy Not Perfect, Grateful, and Sleep Cycle help you take the headache out of self-care.

   • Use an app to use less apps: OffTime helps take the shaming out of screen-time management

2. Offline Solutions

   • Workbooks: There are so many, it’s hard to know where to start! You can find one based on an issue (anxiety, depression, self-esteem) or pick based on a particular approach that appeals to you (ACT, CBT, DBT). Whichever you choose, these can be great ways to increase insight, coping, and positive change.

   • SAD Lamp: Sure, it may seem silly, but these powerful lamps help you get your daily dose of sunshine, even on the most cloudy of days.

   • Body Maintenance: We all know to eat right, exercise, and take care of our bodies, and try to do it when we have the time and energy to. When we aren't attuned to our bodies, it can be easy to ignore or explain things away that actually might have an organic cause. Going to your doctor and making sure your vitamin levels are at their levels and that we have optimized what we have control over can be empowering. If you think it's needed or appropriate, talk to them about your mood and if any if there are any solutions, natural or pharmaceutical, that might be appropriate. We do maintenance updates on our phones and cars... we might as well do it for ourselves, too.

3. Done Everything? Try Alternative Solutions:

   • Healing crystals: Change up the energy in your life and ground yourself with some stones

   • Try something natural: Harvard Medical School found some benefits to things like St. John's Wort and Omega-3 Fats for mental health.

   • Try a homeopathic solution: Acupuncture, Massage, and Aroma Therapy might not feel as legitimate, but their benefits have been well researched and studied. If you've tried everything else, it might be worth a new approach.

4. Get Fancy (When/If Appropriate)

   • Meditate, with training wheels: Use a brain-sensing headband and app combination, like Muse, to give you bio-feedback on how you're doing on your practice of daily meditation.

   • Get your frequency right: Brain stimulators, like Fisher Wallace, can be helpful in treating and managing chronic issues of insomnia, depression, and anxiety.

   • Get your rhythm right: HearMath is a program to get your heart and your brain in sync.

Still unsure about how you're going to make it through the winter, give us a call or email us and we'll be happy to connect you to the right resources for you!

What Trauma Looks Likes →

In this powerful short film from producers Nathanael Matanick and Christina Matanick, we witness the impact of domestic violence on a young girl.  The consequences of her caregivers’ violence are far-reaching.  The girl's world is shattered, her family breaks apart, and her life is turned up-side-down.   

This is trauma.

This film shows graphically how trauma fragments the world outside.  But it also depicts how the world within is injured.  Trauma undermines self-esteem and erodes trust,  setting the stage for difficulties ahead.

As difficult as it is to watch,  the film illuminates the core elements of trauma.  It offers a starting place for understanding, repair, and hope.

Stress in a Stressful Time

Even if your life before this year was relatively smooth sailing, likely, you are not making it through this year unscathed. After all, who could mentally prepared for civil unrest, unemployment, natural disasters, and a global pandemic all at once?

The dramatic events of 2020 are especially difficult for those with a trauma history. People with trauma include those whose past is marked by economic insecurity, frequent moving, homelessness, food insecurity, sudden or unexpected loss, or medical trauma.

Trauma survivors typically develop an “Early Warning System,” alerting against perceived danger. For example, suppose your parents fought a lot when you were a child. In that case, you are likely to be especially sensitive to tension, conflict, or discord around you. This additional sensitivity offers insight as to why today’s upheavals are incredibly stressful for trauma survivors.

 If this sounds like you or someone you know, what can you do?

Become fully aware of your feelings and name them.

If you’re watching the news at home and feel panic starting to flood your system, become consciously aware of your reactions. After acknowledging your feelings, recall that you have heightened sensitivity to current events because of your past traumas. Try watching the feelings as, in most cases, they will fade in time. Also, this is an excellent time to change your environment, like going for a walk.

Use your support system.

By putting your truth on the table with someone you trust and acknowledging the impact it’s having on you, you’re gaining control over the uncontrollable. You’re also modeling to others that it’s okay for them to share with you. If you have a limited support system, it might help do some resourcing online or in therapy.

Self-care is important.

Stretching, yoga, journaling, meditation, cooking, or watching comedy can help you feel safe and present. Taking good care of ourselves requires making your needs a priority. As we take better care of ourselves, we will show up as a better partner, parent, worker, and friend.  

If what helps you happens to be watching puppy videos on Instagram, please tag us so we can also enjoy a little puppy Prozac!

Be kind to yourself.

The world was stressful before 2020, and it certainly doesn’t seem to be winding down any time soon. Allow yourself to feel sad, scared, stressed, exhausted—whatever comes up. Give yourself time to acknowledge and validate these feelings. You may find it helpful to acknowledge at least one positive for every negative thing you noticed.Are you struggling to go back into the office? Remember that you now have half the traffic you used to  Struggling trusting yourself? Remember, it’s okay to not feel like the authority after your entire world has changed. Ask someone you trust what their honest evaluation is of the situation.

Making small adjustments like this work to help you to keep you in balance.

If there was ever an appropriate time to feel a little crazy, this is it. If you find that your internal alarms are going off an awful lot lately, remember you are hardly alone, and at least you know your system is working! Finally, if you are struggling to turn them off, we are happy to connect you with help. Feel free to call us at 866-522-2472 or drop us a line at bizoffice@birchcounseling.com.  

Accepting what is versus chasing happy

Somewhere, somehow most of us have learned that a happy life means never having to feel anything other than positive emotions.  When sadness visits, or anger, or disappointment, it feels sick, like something is wrong with us. It feels as though we are not enough, our lives are not enough.  We try to distract from negatives and chase happy feelings, only to fall short again and again.

What if we could learn to work with these “negative” feelings in a way that better informs us?  Accepting and being curious about the entire range of our emotions can help us become more compassionate, healthy and ultimately more resilient.