Welcoming in December: Amber Phelps

Amber (they/them) is a Licensed Alcohol and Drug Counselor (LADC) and working toward becoming Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor (LPCC). They are passionate about working with individuals, families, and couples by utilizing harm reduction, trauma-responsive care, and providing culturally affirming therapy to help people embrace recovery from a holistic approach. They are trained in Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) to help survivors of trauma manage symptoms and to assist people to discover their hope from within to achieve their recovery goals. Amber uses a collaborative approach to therapy and is experienced with treating and diagnosing PTSD, depression, anxiety, dissociative disorders, substance use disorders, mood disorders, and schizophrenia spectrum disorders.

They have nearly 10 years of varied experience working with survivors of complex and historical trauma, people experiencing homelessness, substance use treatment, crisis intervention, case management, and community-based harm reduction programs. Amber graduated from St. Mary’s University of Minnesota with a MA in Counseling and Psychological Services and a Graduate Certificate in Addiction Studies. In addition to this, Amber has specialization in working with diverse populations as an intersectional, sex-positive, and social justice oriented therapist.

In their free time, Amber enjoys spending time with their family by hiking, thrift shopping, and going to concerts.

What Trauma Looks Likes →

In this powerful short film from producers Nathanael Matanick and Christina Matanick, we witness the impact of domestic violence on a young girl.  The consequences of her caregivers’ violence are far-reaching.  The girl's world is shattered, her family breaks apart, and her life is turned up-side-down.   

This is trauma.

This film shows graphically how trauma fragments the world outside.  But it also depicts how the world within is injured.  Trauma undermines self-esteem and erodes trust,  setting the stage for difficulties ahead.

As difficult as it is to watch,  the film illuminates the core elements of trauma.  It offers a starting place for understanding, repair, and hope.

Being Present

One of the keys to overcoming depression and anxiety in our lives is the ability to be in the present moment. You might be thinking, “That won’t change my past” or “That won’t solve my problems.” Yes that is correct because we cannot relive our past and most of our worrying does nothing to solve the problem. Ruminating about mistakes in the past only brings us down, and worrying takes away the peace of the present moment. 

Maybe you tried a mindfulness exercise which helps for 15 minutes be in the present moment, but your problem is waiting to greet you when you arrive home. How do we escape the inner critic or fears that seem to follow us around daily? Here are some practical strategies to stay in the present moment. 

1. Take a worry break: Take a set period and think about all your worries. Next, write down all the actions you can do to reduce or manage the worries. Put these actions into a calendar. Now write down the the worries you have no control over. Address the worries one day or moment at a time. You now have an action plan to address your worries. When you are not in a worry break or there is nothing else you can do to manage your worry at the time do not continue ruminating about the future! 

2. Resolve any troubles from the past: What is lingering from the past thats bothering you today? Whether it is a trauma, financial mistake, or opportunity you missed out on, ask yourself “what is a step I can take today to resolve this?” Rather then ruminate on the past, it’s time to take that action step forward. This might mean involve reaching out to a therapist or counselor for the support. Like the worry break, when you are not taking action towards resolving the past it’s time to stay focused on the life in front of you.

3. Take one task at a time: When you have 20 things that need to get done, life can get overwhelming. The problem is we cannot do 20 things at a time and we don’t perform at one task when thinking of the other 19. Instead put the priority of the things that must be done today and concentrate at the task at hand. The other tasks will be taken care of when the time comes.

4. Stop the procrastination and avoidance: Some things in life will always be unpleasant and the quicker we take care of them, the quicker we can get back to the things we enjoy. Rather that dwell upon errands all day, take of them sooner and reward yourself. This also applies to specific fears. It may be time to confront the fear rather then avoid. Avoiding the uncomfortable conversation you need to have only keeps the problem lingering around or make it worse. 

5. Have meaningful or enjoyable activities daily: Speaking of rewarding yourself, the whole purpose of this article is to get back to enjoying life. In order for that to happen you need to be living the life you were born to live! Spend daily time present in those activities that bring value or meaning to your life. This is also a challenge to try new activities or meet new people that will bring joy to your life. 

Again, working with a trained therapist or counselor is a great way to practice these strategies and take in individual circumstances. The past is behind us and the future is never guaranteed so lets focus our time and energy on the present moment. 

How you can help a loved one who struggles with depression

It's the little things that can make a big difference for someone battling depression. Here's 5 things you can do to help a loved one with depression: 

1. Invite them to a social gathering with people. Not a huge party, but even just coffee with you at a coffee shop, or a small quiet group of friends watching a movie together.
    
2.  Offer to pick them up and take them to the event. Make it as easy and effortless to participate as possible.  Make sure the gathering is low key and expectations are low.
    
3. Making decisions can be very difficult for people who struggle with depression. Help them by giving them easy choices.  Pick or organize an event or show you know they’d like.  If needed, make childcare arrangements for them.
    
4. Go for a walk or a bike ride with them.  Take them to a gym. While they may not always feel up for it, exercise, being in the company of others, and spending time outdoors can help. 
    
5. Caring for someone with depression is hard and can lead to burnout.  Make sure you assemble a team of people who can help support the person, as well as you.

10 Questions to Help Identify Suicide Warning Signs

Most who consider suicide will give a loved one warning signs about their plans for suicide. But what exactly are those?

To identify warning signs, ask yourself these 10 questions:

1. Do they exhibit or talk about feeling a deep sense of hopelessness about the future, with little expectation that circumstances can improve?
2. Are they talking about death a lot or making oblique references to it?
3. After a period of depression/moodiness, have they suddenly and unexpectedly become calm?
4. Are they withdrawing from social activities - especially ones they previously enjoyed?
5. Have they stopped caring about personal appearance?
6. Are they engaging in risky behaviors? Reckless driving? Drugs/Alcohol? Unsafe sex?
7. Has a major life crisis occurred? Death of recent loved one? Divorce? Bankruptcy?
8. Are they putting a lot of their affairs in order? This might include visiting loved ones members, giving away possessions, making a will, and cleaning up his or her room or home.

If you answer yes to these questions, check in with your friend or loved one.  Tell them you’re concerned about them.  Tell them that you care.  Ask them if they’re having suicidal thoughts.  Call the National Suicide Prevention line 1 (800) 273-8255.

Does my loved one have a Bipolar Disorder?

As 2.6 percent of people suffer from bipolar disorder, there is a probability that you may know someone who will experience the disorder. Given the strong genetic correlation, your chances of developing bipolar disorder increase greatly if another member of your family has been diagnosed with it.

Knowing if a loved one is presenting signs of bipolar disorders is important. Even more importantly, it’s important to know where and how to get help. A thorough evaluation by a psychiatrist, along with medication, are essential for treating mania and major depression.  Talk therapy can help manage symptoms between episodes, and offer support for families.

With good treatment and support from family and friends, people with bipolar disorders can lead productive lives. However, without treatment, the disorder can have a devastating effect on life and relationships. 

Identifying Potential Symptoms
Bipolar disorder, as it is so named, is a disorder of extremes or poles from high to low. Depression and manic states are part of the bipolar cycle. 

You may notice that your loved one is sleeping less and less, and has unlimited energy and full of ideas. This person can be pleasant and fun to be around, but it can quickly change to irritability, which can lead to verbal or physical outbursts. You may notice that your loved one is self-medicating with drugs or alcohol to offset the effects of the disorder. 

You may see increased use of bad judgment from your loved one. They may spend money recklessly and engage in risky behaviors, including casual and unprotected sex, gambling, driving at high speeds, and generally in places where bad things will happen. 
If the symptoms continue without treatment, behaviors can become progressively more threatening.

Approaching the Subject
When speaking to your loved one about their behavior, they may accuse you of being boring, oppressive, or ruining their life. You will need to approach it delicately, as pushing a person in a manic state will lead to unnecessary and potentially harmful conflict. 

Your best strategy is to use a combination of listening to your loved one and applying leverage to influence positive behavior, like meeting with a mental health professional. 

Leverage isn’t about pushing or forcing, but about providing your loved one a choice. For instance, if you are providing something they need like a car, money or something else of value, you can give them a choice about how to proceed: continue receiving these items by getting help, or choosing to live without them and not receiving help. 

Never Give Up
Managing an illness, even after receiving help from mental health professionals is a marathon, not a sprint. Your morale and determination will be tested.  As you support your loved one who struggles with the illness, don’t be afraid to ask for your own help.  Mental health professionals can assist you with finding the resources you and your loved ones need to manage this difficult illness.