Welcoming in September: Shane O'Reilly

Shane (he/him) is an intern starting at Birch Counseling in the fall of 2025. He is a former educator with over twenty years of experience teaching high school students writing and literature and supporting other educators in achieving their goals. 

Believing the root of many educational challenges to be in mental health, Shane decided to start a new journey as a counselor. He is excited to bring his experience and desire to help others on their own journey. He believes that every individual is unique, and is passionate about working with clients to help them better understand their thoughts, emotions, and the wonderful and sometimes challenging intersection of the two.

Shane uses Cognitive Behavioral Therapy as well as existential and person-centered approaches. He was trained in Mindfulness as an educator and brings that expertise to his practice as well. He works with teens and adults experiencing anxiety, depression, interpersonal conflict, emotional dysregulation, life transitions, and other diverse challenges.

Welcoming in September: Julia Rose

Julia (she/her) is a pre-licensed LPCC candidate at Saint Mary’s University of Minnesota. She brings warmth, curiosity, and collaboration into her work, offering a nonjudgmental space where clients can make sense of what they’re facing, reconnect with who they are, and move toward a life that feels more satisfying. Her integrative approach draws from person-centered, existential, and relational-cultural therapies, with a focus on connection, self-compassion, and authenticity. Julia is passionate about working with people navigating anxiety, perfectionism, relationship concerns, life transitions, self-esteem difficulties, or those simply seeking deeper self-understanding and support through life’s challenges. She approaches therapy through a social justice-oriented lens, honoring each client’s lived experience and the broader systems that shape their life. She believes therapy is a powerful space to reconnect with oneself, and is committed to helping others feel seen, understood, and empowered in their growth and healing journey

Mindfulness Micro-Practices for Everyday Calm

In our fast-paced world, finding time for mental well-being can feel daunting. Long meditation sessions or elaborate self-care routines seem out of reach for busy schedules. Enter mindfulness micro-practices—short, intentional exercises that fit seamlessly into daily life, offering quick doses of calm and clarity. These practices, often lasting just 1–5 minutes, are gaining traction in 2025 as people seek accessible ways to manage stress and boost mental health. Here’s a guide to mindfulness micro-practices, why they work, and how you can incorporate them into your routine.

Why Mindfulness Micro-Practices Matter

Mindfulness, the act of being fully present in the moment, has been shown to reduce stress, improve focus, and enhance emotional resilience. Studies, like those from the American Psychological Association, indicate that even brief mindfulness exercises can lower cortisol levels and improve mood. Micro-practices are particularly effective because they’re low-commitment, making them ideal for beginners or those with packed schedules. By integrating small moments of awareness into your day, you can build a habit that compounds over time, fostering long-term mental well-being.

Brief Mindfulness Micro-Practices to Try

Below are five simple micro-practices you can start today. Each takes just a few minutes and requires no special tools, making them perfect for home, work, or on the go.

1. The 4-4-4 Breathing Technique

This quick breathing exercise calms the nervous system and refocuses the mind.

  • How to do it: Inhale deeply through your nose for 4 seconds, hold your breath for 4 seconds, and exhale slowly through your mouth for 4 seconds. Repeat 3–5 times.

  • When to use it: Before a stressful meeting, during a commute, or when feeling overwhelmed.

  • Why it works: Controlled breathing activates the parasympathetic nervous system, reducing anxiety and promoting relaxation.

2. One-Minute Body Scan

A body scan helps you tune into physical sensations, grounding you in the present.

  • How to do it: Sit or stand comfortably. Close your eyes if possible. Starting at your toes, mentally scan your body up to your head, noticing any tension or sensations without judgment. Take 60 seconds to complete the scan.

  • When to use it: During a work break, while waiting in line, or before bed.

  • Why it works: This practice fosters body awareness, helping you release tension and stay present.

3. Gratitude Pause

Gratitude shifts your focus from stress to positivity, boosting mood in seconds.

  • How to do it: Pause and think of one thing you’re grateful for—something as simple as a warm cup of coffee or a kind gesture. Reflect on why it matters for 30 seconds.

  • When to use it: First thing in the morning, during lunch, or when feeling low.

  • Why it works: Research from UC Berkeley shows gratitude practices increase dopamine, enhancing feelings of well-being.

4. Five Senses Check-In

This exercise anchors you in the present by engaging your senses.

  • How to do it: Pause and notice 5 things you see, 4 things you feel, 3 things you hear, 2 things you smell, and 1 thing you taste (or imagine tasting). Take 1–2 minutes to complete.

  • When to use it: When feeling distracted, anxious, or disconnected.

  • Why it works: Engaging the senses redirects your mind from racing thoughts to the immediate environment.

5. Micro-Meditation

A brief meditation can reset your mental state in moments.

  • How to do it: Find a quiet spot. Close your eyes and focus on your breath or a single word (like “calm”). Focusing on ambient white noise can also help soothe and calm your mind. If your mind wanders, gently bring it back. Do this for 1–3 minutes.

  • When to use it: During transitions between tasks, after a tough conversation, or before sleep.

  • Why it works: Meditation has strong empirical support for its benefits, including findings from a Harvard study

Tips for Making Micro-Practices a Habit

  • Start Small: Choose one practice and try it once a day for a week.

  • Set Triggers: Link practices to daily routines, like doing a gratitude pause while brushing your teeth.

  • Use Reminders: Set a phone alarm or sticky note to prompt you until the habit sticks.

  • Be Flexible: If one practice doesn’t resonate, try another. The goal is consistency, not perfection.

  • Track Progress: Jot down how you feel after each practice to stay motivated.

Final Thoughts

Mindfulness micro-practices are a powerful way to bring calm and clarity into your day, no matter how busy you are. By dedicating just a few minutes to intentional breathing, gratitude, or sensory awareness, you can reduce stress and build resilience over time. Start with one practice, experiment, and find what works for you. Your mind will thank you.

If you are struggling with stress or anxiety, we're here to provide support. Please call us at (866) 522-2472 for assistance.

Navigating Grief and Caregiving When Your Spouse Has Dementia

Losing a spouse to dementia is a heart-wrenching journey, marked by a unique form of grief known as "ambiguous loss." This type of grief arises because the person you love is still physically present, yet their personality, memories, and abilities are gradually slipping away. The prolonged grieving process, compounded by the demands of caregiving, can evoke a complex mix of emotions—sadness, anger, guilt, and even relief. Below, we explore the grief process, offer coping strategies, and share tips for communicating with a spouse living with dementia.

Understanding the Grief Process

Ambiguous Loss

Ambiguous loss is the painful experience of losing the essence of your spouse while they are still alive. As dementia progresses, their personality, memories, and ability to connect may fade, leaving you grieving the person they once were. This gradual erosion can make it difficult to process your emotions, as the loss feels ongoing and undefined.

Disenfranchised Grief

The grief of caring for a spouse with dementia is often misunderstood or overlooked by others. Friends and family may not fully recognize the depth of your loss, as your spouse is still physically present. This lack of acknowledgment, known as disenfranchised grief, can intensify feelings of isolation and make the grieving process even more challenging.

Stages of Grief

Grief is not a linear journey. You may cycle through stages like denial, anger, guilt, sadness, and acceptance, often in no particular order. These emotions may ebb and flow as you navigate your spouse’s condition and the changes it brings to your life.

Possible Feelings

It’s normal to experience a range of emotions, including:

  • Sadness: Mourning the loss of your shared life and connection.

  • Shock and Disbelief: Struggling to accept the reality of your spouse’s decline.

  • Anger or Resentment: Feeling frustrated with the disease, your situation, or even your spouse.

  • Guilt: Questioning whether you’re doing enough or feeling relief when caregiving responsibilities lessen.

  • Relief: Experiencing moments of relief, especially after their passing, which can feel confusing or shameful.

Loss of Purpose

For many caregivers, caring for a spouse with dementia becomes a central part of life. After their passing, you may feel a profound loss of purpose, especially if caregiving defined your daily routine. This transition can be disorienting and may require time to rediscover meaning and direction.

Coping with Grief and Supporting Your Spouse

Grief is a deeply personal journey, and there’s no “right” way to navigate it. Here are some strategies to help you cope while continuing to care for your spouse:

Be Kind to Yourself

Allow yourself the time and space to grieve without judgment. Acknowledge that caregiving and grief are exhausting, and it’s okay to prioritize your well-being. Don’t hesitate to ask for help from family, friends, or professionals when you need it.

Seek Support

Connecting with others who understand your experience can be incredibly validating. Consider joining a support group—either in person or online—where you can share your feelings and learn from others caring for loved ones with dementia. Organizations like the Alzheimer’s Association offer resources and support groups tailored to caregivers.

Communicate

Even if your spouse’s ability to understand or respond is limited, talking to them about your feelings and theirs can foster connection. Share simple, heartfelt sentiments, and be present in the moment, even if the conversation feels one-sided.

Validate Their Feelings

Your spouse may experience confusion, fear, or frustration due to their condition. Acknowledge their emotions, even if they can’t fully articulate them. Offer comfort through kind words, a gentle touch, or simply sitting together in silence.

Focus on the Present

Engage in activities that bring you joy and help you stay grounded. Whether it’s taking a walk, listening to music, or spending time with loved ones, small moments of happiness can provide relief and perspective.

Consider Professional Help

If grief feels overwhelming or unmanageable, a therapist or counselor can offer tools to navigate your emotions. Look for professionals experienced in grief counseling or dementia caregiving for tailored support.

Remember the Good Times

Keep your spouse’s spirit alive by sharing stories and memories with family or friends. Reflecting on happy moments can help you honor your relationship and find comfort amidst the pain.

Tips for Communicating with Your Spouse with Dementia

Communicating with a spouse who has dementia requires patience and adaptability. Here are some practical tips to maintain connection and reduce frustration:

Keep It Simple

Use clear, concise language and avoid complex explanations. Break information into small, manageable pieces to make it easier for your spouse to process.

Be Patient

Repetition is common with dementia. Be prepared to answer the same questions multiple times without showing frustration. Respond with kindness and consistency to create a sense of security.

Read Their Emotions

Pay attention to nonverbal cues, such as body language or tone of voice, to gauge your spouse’s emotional state. These signals can provide insight into their feelings when words fail.

Focus on the Present

If your spouse becomes agitated or confused, gently redirect their attention to something positive, like a favorite activity or a soothing environment. Avoid dwelling on topics that cause distress.

Final Thoughts

Caring for a spouse with dementia while facing ambiguous loss is an incredibly challenging journey. Be patient with yourself as you navigate this complex grief, and remember that there’s no “correct” way to feel. By seeking support, practicing self-compassion, and staying connected with your spouse in meaningful ways, you can find strength to carry on. Your love and dedication, even in the face of loss, are a testament to the bond you share.

For additional resources, consider exploring organizations like the Alzheimer’s Association or local caregiving support networks to find community, respite care and guidance on this path.

If you are a caregiver needing support, we are here to help. Connect with one of our therapists by calling (866) 522-2472.

Youth Suicide: A Critical Call for Awareness and Action

Youth suicide is a heartbreaking public health crisis affecting individuals aged 10-24 in the United States. Understanding the risk factors, recognizing warning signs, and promoting protective factors are essential steps in preventing these tragic losses. This blog explores the issue and offers practical guidance for support.

The Scope of the Crisis

Suicide is a leading cause of death for young people aged 10-24, with rates rising sharply in recent years. The crisis is driven by complex factors, but with awareness and intervention, we can make a difference.

Risk Factors for Youth Suicide

Several factors increase the likelihood of suicidal thoughts and behaviors:

  • Mental Health Conditions: Severe depression, anxiety, or psychotic disorders significantly elevate risk.

  • Substance Misuse: Alcohol and drug abuse can amplify suicidal thoughts by impairing judgment.

  • Prior Suicide Attempts: A history of attempts is a strong predictor of future risk.

  • Family History: A family history of suicide or mental health issues increases vulnerability.

  • Traumatic Experiences: Sexual violence, bullying, or discrimination can trigger mental health struggles.

  • Loss or Change: Major losses, like a loved one’s death or a breakup, can be overwhelming.

  • Access to Lethal Means: Unsecured firearms or medications heighten the risk of completion.

  • Social Isolation: Lack of support from family or friends exacerbates feelings of loneliness.

  • Barriers to Care: Limited access to mental health services leaves many without help.

Warning Signs to Watch For

Recognizing warning signs is critical for early intervention. Look for:

  • Talking About Death: Statements like “I wish I was dead” or “I want to disappear.”

  • Hopelessness: Expressing that life will never improve or lacks purpose.

  • Feeling Trapped or Burdensome: Believing they’re stuck or others are better off without them.

  • Behavioral Changes: Increased substance use, withdrawing from activities, giving away possessions, or reckless actions.

  • Mood Shifts: Signs of depression, anxiety, irritability, or anger.

  • Planning Suicide: Researching methods or making plans to die.

  • Saying Goodbye: Contacting loved ones to bid farewell.

What to Do If You’re Concerned

If you suspect a young person is at risk:

  1. Stay With Them: Ensure they’re not alone and are safe.

  2. Listen Without Judgment: Show you care and validate their feelings.

  3. Encourage Help-Seeking: Suggest speaking to a trusted adult or professional.

  4. Contact a Crisis Line: Call or text 988 (Suicide & Crisis Lifeline) or text HOME to 741741 (Crisis Text Line).

  5. Seek Emergency Help: Call 911 if there’s immediate danger.

Protective Factors: Building Resilience

Promoting these factors can reduce suicide risk:

  • Family and Peer Support: Strong, positive relationships foster a sense of belonging.

  • School and Community Connection: Feeling part of a community builds resilience.

  • Healthy Coping Skills: Teaching stress management and problem-solving empowers youth.

  • Access to Mental Health Care: Timely, effective treatment is crucial.

A Call to Action

Youth suicide is preventable with awareness and action. By recognizing warning signs, addressing risk factors, and promoting protective factors, we can save lives. If someone you know is struggling, act immediately—reach out, listen, and connect them to help.

Resources:

  • 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: Call or text 988 for 24/7 support.

  • Crisis Text Line: Text HOME to 741741 for free crisis support.

  • The Trevor Project: Support for LGBTQ+ youth (www.thetrevorproject.org).

  • NAMI: Mental health resources (www.nami.org).

Let’s work together to ensure no young person feels alone. Reach out, support, and act—every step counts.

We are here to connect you or your loved one with mental health support. Please contact us at (866) 522-2472 for assistance.

An Empath’s Heart in a Narcissist’s Game: A Tale of Love and Lessons

Allie thought she had found her soulmate in Ryan. From the moment they met, his charm and adoration swept her off her feet. By their seventh date, he told her he loved her.  It felt as though he embraced every part of her—even the insecurities that haunted her. In his eyes, she felt seen, valued, and truly alive. Life burst with joy and possibility, and she believed Ryan was her happiness. But beneath his radiant facade, a darker side soon emerged.

The Slow Shift from Love to Control

Over time, Ryan’s affection turned to irritation and criticism. His once-loving words became sharp, cutting into Allie’s confidence. He began controlling her decisions—where she went, what she did, even how she thought. He’d talk about “working things out,” but that always meant she  had to change. She found herself tiptoeing around his reactions, compromising her boundaries to avoid his anger, which terrified and confused her. When she stood her ground, Ryan pushed back harder, his words echoing her deepest fears, sometimes screaming that she wasn’t enough.

Their relationship became one-sided: Ryan took, and Allie gave. At times, he acted like a controlling parent, reducing her to a frightened child. Other times, he was the wounded child, demanding endless reassurance that she loved him and wouldn’t leave. Allie tried so hard to understand and please him, but conflict and pain seemed inevitable. She felt like she was losing her grip on reality: events she vividly recalled, he claimed never happened. His denial made her question her own truth, leaving her feeling unmoored. Yet, the fleeting memories of his rare warmth, vulnerability, and charm kept her tethered to him. Like an addict, she chased the fading highs of their early days.

Doubt and Exhaustion

Desperate for clarity, Allie sought advice from friends and family. Was this normal? Don’t all relationships have challenges? She was terrified of giving up too soon, of returning to a life without him. So, she buried her doubts and poured her heart into making it work. But Ryan accused her of not trying hard enough, while she exhausted herself to keep them afloat. She couldn’t stop wondering: should love feel this painful?

Breaking points came and went, each one chipping away at Allie’s spirit. Deep down, she knew staying with Ryan would leave her a shell of herself. Leaving felt unbearable.  However, when the final breaking point hit, Allie found the courage to choose herself—her emotional safety, happiness, wellbeing. It was agonizing, but she knew it was the only way to save herself.

Reclaiming Her Strength

The pain of leaving Ryan was overwhelming. She couldn’t imagine it ever hurting less. But in a quiet corner of her mind, a flicker of hope whispered that things would get better. And they did. Slowly, Allie rebuilt her life, rediscovering her power and pride in her resilience. That toxic relationship became a profound teacher, guiding Allie toward self-love and strength.

Words can’t fully capture the pain of living this experience. If any part of Allie’s story resonates with you, please know this: you are worthy of a partner who is kind, respectful, and uplifting. You are worthy of LOVE. Relationships are not always easy, but it should be a partnership, a healthy give-and-take—not a one-sided drain.

A Message of Hope

If you’re trapped in a similar dynamic, trust that you have the strength within you to choose yourself. The path to healing can be rocky, but it leads to a life where you can thrive, not just survive. You deserve to feel safe, seen, and whole.

We’re here to connect you with a therapist who can help you break free from the cycle of abuse. Contact us at (866) 522-2472.

Welcoming Rachel Howard

We are very excited to announce that Rachel Howard, MSW, LGSW will join our team in July!

Rachel is a compassionate and skilled mental health professional with a Master of Social Work and extensive experience delivering clinical services in diverse settings. Specializing in evidence-based practices such as Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, Solution-Focused Therapy, and Narrative Therapy, she crafts personalized treatment plans to foster transformative growth. Rachel has a strong commitment to underserved populations, including women transitioning out of homelessness and children with behavioral health needs. Her diverse background in corporate project management, teaching, and service in the U.S. Army Reserve enriches her culturally responsive, client-centered approach. Passionate about empowering individuals and families, Rachel seeks to promote lasting change through empathetic and evidence-based care.

Is A.D.H.D. Misunderstood? New Data and Perspective on Diagnosis and Treatment

The below is based on an article by Paul Tough. It was published on April 13, 2025 in the New York Times Magazine.

Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (A.D.H.D.) diagnoses are at an all-time high, with 11.4% of American children—7 million kids—carrying the label in 2023, a sharp rise from 2 million in the 1990s. Alongside this surge, prescriptions for stimulant medications like Ritalin and Adderall have skyrocketed, increasing 58% from 2012 to 2022. But as the numbers climb, a growing chorus of experts is questioning whether we’ve been approaching A.D.H.D. correctly, challenging the assumption that it’s a purely biological disorder requiring a medical fix.

The Rise of A.D.H.D. and the M.T.A. Study

In the early 1990s, James Swanson, a research psychologist at UC Irvine, found himself at the center of a contentious debate. The Church of Scientology was protesting Ritalin, the go-to A.D.H.D. medication, accusing psychiatry of “drugging kids.” At the time, A.D.H.D. diagnoses doubled from under a million in 1990 to over two million by 1993, with most children prescribed Ritalin. Swanson, believing 3% of kids had A.D.H.D., saw this as appropriate.

To address questions about Ritalin’s efficacy, Swanson led the Multimodal Treatment of Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (M.T.A.) study, a landmark trial comparing stimulants, behavioral therapy, and combined approaches. Initial results in 1999 showed Ritalin significantly reduced symptoms after 14 months compared to behavioral therapy alone, cementing its use. However, by 36 months, all groups—including those without treatment—had similar symptom levels, revealing no long-term behavioral benefits. Worse, children on Ritalin grew about an inch shorter on average, a gap that persisted into adulthood.

Swanson, now 80, is troubled by these findings and the A.D.H.D. field’s direction. “There are things about the way we do this work that just are definitely wrong,” he says.

Challenging the Medical Model

The traditional view of A.D.H.D. as a fixed, brain-based disorder—often compared to “diabetes of the brain”—is losing ground. Edmund Sonuga-Barke, a researcher at King’s College London, notes a disconnect: “We have a clinical definition of A.D.H.D. that is increasingly unanchored from what we’re finding in our science.” Despite decades of searching, no reliable biological marker (like a brain scan or genetic test) confirms A.D.H.D. as a distinct condition. The 2017 Enigma Consortium study, for instance, found negligible brain differences in A.D.H.D. patients, undermining claims of a clear neurological basis.

Sonuga-Barke argues A.D.H.D. symptoms exist on a continuum, not as a binary “you have it or you don’t” condition. Environmental factors—like trauma, anxiety, or an unsuitable setting—can mimic or exacerbate symptoms, complicating diagnosis. Over 75% of kids with A.D.H.D. have another mental health condition, such as anxiety or a learning disorder, blurring the lines further.

Medication’s Limits

Stimulants like Ritalin and Adderall, rooted in a 1937 discovery by psychiatrist Charles Bradley, remain the standard treatment. They often produce striking short-term behavioral improvements, described by researcher F. Xavier Castellanos as “almost mystical.” Yet, studies consistently show they don’t enhance academic performance. A 2023 study by Elizabeth Bowman found adults on stimulants worked harder on cognitive tasks but performed no better than those on placebos. A 2022 study by William Pelham Jr. showed similar results in children: better behavior, but no learning gains.

Why do families still rely on these drugs? Research by Martha Farah suggests stimulants boost confidence and motivation, making boring tasks feel engaging. As sociologist Scott Vrecko found, students describe falling “in love” with their work on Adderall, not because it sharpens their intellect but because it makes tedious tasks tolerable—a phenomenon historically seen in soldiers, housewives, and truckers using amphetamines to endure monotony.

But the downsides are significant. Beyond growth suppression, stimulants carry risks of addiction and, per a 2024 study, tripled odds of psychosis or mania at medium doses. Many teens, like “Cap” and “John,” dislike the emotional flattening or appetite loss, often stopping medication outside school. Cap used Ritalin situationally for SAT prep and baseball, while John felt “completely regular” without Adderall in summer, highlighting A.D.H.D.’s context-driven nature.

A New Perspective: Environment Matters

Recent M.T.A. studies reveal A.D.H.D. symptoms fluctuate over time, with only 11% of diagnosed kids showing consistent symptoms year after year. Margaret Sibley notes that 40% of non-A.D.H.D. kids in the study later met diagnostic criteria, suggesting environmental changes—like a demanding school—can trigger symptoms. A.D.H.D., it seems, isn’t always a fixed disorder but a condition shaped by context.

In 2016, M.T.A. researchers interviewed young adults who had A.D.H.D. as kids. Many reported their symptoms vanished after finding a “niche”—a career or study path aligning with their interests, like film, hairstyling, or auto repair. These environments, whether cognitively demanding or hands-on, felt “intrinsically interesting,” reducing distraction. Sibley found symptoms often improved during high-demand periods, challenging the idea that A.D.H.D. worsens under pressure.

Sonuga-Barke proposes a new model: A.D.H.D. symptoms signal a mismatch between a person’s biology and environment, not a brain defect. He advocates building supportive settings—like engaging schools or jobs—over relying solely on medication. This approach, he argues, improves mental health and self-esteem, reducing the stigma of being “defective.”

The Stigma of Diagnosis

Labeling A.D.H.D. a “brain disorder” can backfire. While some families find a diagnosis empowering, Luise Kazda’s 2021 review found it often increases shame and isolation, fostering an identity tied to prejudice. Sonuga-Barke’s model, by contrast, frames A.D.H.D. as a trait on a spectrum, encouraging families to explore environmental tweaks—like a new school—or address co-occurring issues like anxiety, alongside medication if needed.

A Path Forward

Rethinking A.D.H.D. as a contextual condition requires flexibility from families and doctors, but it offers hope. It aligns with science showing symptoms aren’t fixed and empowers kids to see themselves as “different, not defective.” For some, medication may help navigate tough environments; for others, finding the right niche could be transformative. As Sonuga-Barke reflects from his own A.D.H.D. journey—thriving in college after struggling in school—the key is creating a world that fits the unique wiring of each mind.

Paul Tough is a contributing writer for The New York Times Magazine, focusing on education and child development for over two decades.

Managing ADHD in Adults: Understanding Symptoms and Coping Strategies

Living with ADHD as an adult can feel like navigating a maze with moving walls. You might struggle to finish tasks, stay organized, or find the motivation others seem to access effortlessly. If you’ve ever felt guilt or frustration over incomplete projects or restless energy, you’re not alone. Adult ADHD is real, and while it presents challenges, there are practical ways to work with your brain to thrive. Let’s explore what ADHD looks like in adults and share strategies to manage its symptoms effectively.

What Is Adult ADHD?

ADHD (Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder) isn’t just a childhood condition. While many are diagnosed as kids, symptoms often persist into adulthood, and some people aren’t diagnosed until later in life. Adult ADHD can manifest as difficulty focusing, impulsivity, or restlessness, but it’s not always the “hyperactive” stereotype. There are three main types:

  • Predominantly Inattentive: Struggling with focus, organization, or completing tasks.

  • Predominantly Hyperactive-Impulsive: Acting on impulse or feeling restless.

  • Combined: A mix of both inattentive and hyperactive-impulsive symptoms.

For most adults, ADHD symptoms don’t vanish entirely, but they can evolve. You might not be climbing furniture like you did as a kid, but you could find yourself restless, bored, or jumping between projects without finishing them.

Common Symptoms of Adult ADHD

Here’s how ADHD might show up in your daily life:

  • Inattention:

    • Making careless mistakes due to trouble focusing on details.

    • Struggling to stay focused during work, conversations, or leisure.

    • Seeming to “tune out” when spoken to directly.

    • Having difficulty following through on instructions or finishing tasks.

    • Struggling to organize tasks, time, or belongings.

    • Avoiding tasks requiring sustained mental effort, like paperwork.

    • Frequently losing items like keys, wallets, or phones.

    • Getting easily distracted by external stimuli or wandering thoughts.

    • Forgetting daily responsibilities, like appointments or bills.

  • Hyperactivity and Impulsivity:

    • Feeling restless or fidgety, like you can’t sit still.

    • Interrupting others or blurting out thoughts impulsively.

    • Struggling to wait your turn in conversations or situations.

    • Starting new projects before finishing existing ones.

    • Seeking constant stimulation or novelty.

These symptoms can lead to frustration, low self-esteem, or challenges in relationships and work. But understanding them is the first step to managing them.

Coping Strategies for Adult ADHD

There’s no one-size-fits-all cure for ADHD, but you can harness your brain’s unique wiring—its love for novelty, creativity, and energy—to build a more productive and fulfilling life. Here are practical strategies to cope with ADHD symptoms:

1. Embrace Your Strengths

The ADHD mind thrives on excitement and creativity. Instead of fighting it, lean into it. Approach tasks from fresh angles or use new tools to make routine work feel engaging. For example, if paperwork feels daunting, try gamifying it with a timer or colorful organization apps to spark interest.

2. Break Tasks Into Small Steps

Big goals can feel overwhelming. Break them into bite-sized, actionable steps and commit to one small action daily. For instance, instead of “organize my desk,” start with “sort one drawer today.” Small wins build momentum and make larger goals feel achievable.

3. Set Realistic Goals

Dream big, but start small. Setting unattainable goals can lead to frustration. Instead, create specific, measurable targets—like “spend 10 minutes on emails each morning.” Consistently hitting small goals fosters habits that pave the way for bigger successes.

4. Create Structure and Routines

ADHD brains often resist rigid routines, but flexible structure can help. Use tools like planners, apps, or visual reminders to stay on track. For example, set phone alarms for key tasks or use a whiteboard for daily priorities. Keep routines simple to avoid overwhelm.

5. Minimize Distractions

Identify what pulls your focus—phone notifications, noisy environments, or cluttered spaces—and take steps to reduce them. Try noise-canceling headphones, turn off non-essential notifications, or designate a distraction-free workspace for important tasks.

6. Use Timers and Time-Blocking

Time management can be tough with ADHD. Techniques like the Pomodoro method (working for 25 minutes, then taking a 5-minute break) can keep you focused. Time-blocking—assigning specific time slots to tasks—also helps you stay on track without feeling trapped.

7. Seek Support

You don’t have to navigate ADHD alone. Consider working with a therapist, coach, or support group specializing in ADHD. They can offer tailored strategies and accountability. If appropriate, consult a healthcare provider about medication options, which can help manage symptoms for some.

8. Practice Self-Compassion

ADHD can make you feel like you’re falling short, but beating yourself up drains energy. Accept your limitations and focus on what you can do. Celebrate progress, no matter how small, and remind yourself that ADHD is a neurological difference, not a personal failure.

Turning Challenges Into Opportunities

Adult ADHD can make life feel like a constant juggling act, but it also comes with unique strengths—like creativity, enthusiasm, and out-of-the-box thinking. By understanding your symptoms and experimenting with strategies that align with your brain’s wiring, you can turn challenges into opportunities. Over time, you’ll build systems and habits that help you tackle daily tasks and pursue your goals with confidence.

If you’re struggling, know that you’re not alone, and small changes can make a big difference. Start with one strategy, tweak it to fit your life, and watch how your ADHD mind can shine.

Ready to Take the Next Step?

Explore ADHD-friendly tools like task apps (e.g., Todoist, Trello) or connect with a professional to create a personalized plan. Your journey with ADHD is unique—embrace it, and find what works for you!

A toxic dance: Empaths and Narcissists in love

The dynamic between an empath and a narcissist is often described as a magnetic yet destructive dance. Empaths, with their deep capacity for understanding and absorbing others’ emotions, are naturally drawn to narcissists, who thrive on attention and admiration. This relationship, while initially compelling, can become a breeding ground for emotional turmoil and abuse. Let’s explore the characteristics of both, why they’re drawn to each other, and the challenges they face.

Understanding the Empath

Empaths are highly sensitive individuals who feel emotions deeply—both their own and those of others. They are often compassionate, intuitive, and driven by a desire to help or heal. Key traits include:

  • Emotional attunement: They sense others’ feelings, often taking them on as their own.

  • Selflessness: Empaths prioritize others’ needs, often at their own expense.

  • Intuitive insight: They can read situations and people with remarkable accuracy.

These qualities make empaths natural caregivers, but they also leave them vulnerable to those who seek to exploit their kindness.

Understanding the Narcissist

Narcissists are characterized by a seemingly insatiable need for validation, a sense of entitlement, and a lack of genuine empathy. Their traits, often associated with Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD), include:

  • Grandiosity: An inflated sense of self-importance.

  • Need for admiration: They crave constant attention and validation.

  • Lack of empathy: They struggle to understand or care about others’ feelings.

Narcissists tend to display charm and confidence, which many find captivating. Empaths, highly sensitive to emotional needs, are drawn to the hidden fragility and insecurity beneath this facade.

The Attraction: A Perfect Storm

The empath-narcissist relationship is fueled by complementary needs. The narcissist’s charisma and confidence draw the empath in, who sees someone in need of love or healing. The empath’s nurturing nature feeds the narcissist’s desire for admiration, creating an initial sense of harmony. However, this dynamic is rarely sustainable.

  • The empath’s pull: Empaths believe they can “fix” or save others, and a narcissist’s outward confidence may mask insecurities that the empath feels compelled to soothe.

  • The narcissist’s pull: Narcissists are drawn to empaths because they provide an endless supply of attention, validation, and emotional support.

This mutual attraction creates a powerful bond, but it tilts heavily in the narcissist’s favor.

A Toxic Cycle

After the initial euphoria wears off, narcissists like to use put-downs as a deliberate tactic to gain control over their partners, leveraging criticism to undermine their confidence and independence. By belittling their partner’s achievements, appearance, or worth, they create a power imbalance, fostering dependency and self-doubt. These subtle or overt insults—ranging from mocking comments to dismissive behaviors—are designed to keep the partner seeking approval, thus reinforcing the narcissist’s dominance. This manipulation feeds the narcissist’s need for admiration while eroding the partner’s sense of self, trapping them in a cycle of emotional reliance.

Their toxic cycle is marked by:

  • Emotional drain: The narcissist’s demands exhaust the empath’s energy.

  • Manipulation: Tactics like gaslighting and blame-shifting leave the empath questioning their reality.

  • Loss of self: The empath’s identity fades as their needs are sidelined.

  • Power imbalance: The narcissist’s need for control overshadows the empath’s desire to please.

Over time, the empath feels trapped and exhausted, while the narcissist grows frustrated by their depleted partner’s growing inability to meet their needs.

Breaking the Cycle

For empaths, breaking free from a narcissist’s grip requires self-awareness and boundary-setting. Here are some steps to consider:

  1. Recognize the pattern: Understanding the narcissist’s behavior and its impact is the first step toward change.

  2. Set boundaries: Empaths must learn to prioritize their own needs and say “no” to excessive demands.

  3. Seek support: Therapy or support groups can help empaths rebuild their sense of self and learn healthy coping mechanisms.

  4. Limit contact: Reducing or cutting contact with the narcissist may be necessary to regain emotional balance.

For narcissists, change is more challenging, as self-awareness is often limited. However, therapy can help address underlying insecurities and foster healthier relationships.

Can it Work?

In rare cases, with mutual effort and professional support, an empath and a narcissist might find a healthier balance. This requires the narcissist to acknowledge their behavior and work toward change, while the empath maintains strong boundaries. More often, however, the relationship remains unsustainable without significant personal growth from both parties.

Final Thoughts

The empath-narcissist dynamic is a complex interplay of emotional giving and taking. While the initial connection can feel electric, it usually leads to pain and imbalance. For empaths, recognizing their worth and learning to protect their energy is key. For narcissists, self-reflection and a willingness to grow can pave the way for healthier connections. Understanding this relationship dynamic can help both parties navigate their interactions with greater clarity and self-awareness.

If you’re feeling stuck in a harmful relationship dynamic, we’re here to help you find support. Connect with one of our therapists by calling us at (866) 522-2472.

Joining us July 7: Kelly Dodson, MA

We are thrilled to announce that Kelly Dodson will be joining our team soon!

Kelly understands that sometimes we feel overwhelmed by the ups and downs of life, like a kaleidoscope of shifting emotions and experiences. Whether you’re an adult trying to have everything "figured out," a teenager navigating daily pressures, or a college student juggling school and life, it can be a lot to handle. Kelly’s approach to therapy is person-centered and strengths based, emphasizing that the client has within them the resources needed to overcome life’s challenges; it is a matter of uncovering and utilizing these skills. She has a personable, easy-going mindset and utilizes skills such as mindfulness, motivational interviewing, and reflective listening to hold space for clients to change in their own way and at a pace that is comfortable for them.

Kelly graduated with her bachelor’s degree in Psychology from the University of North Georgia and then continued on to receive a master’s degree in Professional Counseling from Liberty University. In her spare time Kelly loves to read, write, spend time outdoors, and spend time with her family and three cats. Kelly is receiving clinical supervision from a qualified, licensed supervisor until completion of full licensure.  

Anger: undermining strength and connection

Anger is a complex emotion. When directed at us, it feels uncomfortable, even threatening. Yet, when we experience it ourselves, it can feel exhilarating—a surge of righteousness that makes us feel superior or powerful. But this power is an illusion. Anger, in fact, erodes our control, clouding our judgment as our brain shifts into fight-or-flight mode. In this state, clear thinking takes a backseat, and we start to see ourselves as victims, blaming others for our distress. This mindset fractures relationships, isolates us from loved ones, and makes others hesitant to approach us with anything that might trigger a reaction.

The Strength of Staying Calm

Think about the people in your life who stay calm under pressure. Their quiet confidence pulls others toward them, radiating strength without effort. Animals can teach us this too. My dog, Mojo, had a commanding presence but rarely reacted to provocation. If a pesky pup annoyed him, he’d respond with a gentle paw, nothing more, and otherwise remained steady. This restraint made him trustworthy. Even people who usually disliked dogs were drawn to him, charmed by his calm, magnetic demeanor. In his entire life, Mojo showed aggression only twice—both times justified, measured, and in tune with the cues around him. His composure earned respect and forged connections, showing that true power comes from self-control.

Another example might be Mike Ehrmantraut from Better Call Saul. He embodies staying focused on what matters. While also deeply flawed, this character’s strength lies in his ability to keep the big picture in view. Mike doesn’t waste energy on petty insults or minor threats. When action is required, he responds decisively, calm and composed, never letting emotions cloud his judgment. This self-control makes him formidable—not through loudness or aggression, but through quiet resolve.

The Power of Managing Anger

Managing anger doesn’t diminish your strength—it amplifies it. By recognizing your internal triggers early, you can distinguish between real threats and mere annoyances. Most of what sparks anger falls into the latter category. When you learn to address these moments calmly, you create space for clearer communication and stronger connections. People relax around you. They listen more attentively because they’re not on edge, bracing for a fight-or-flight response. Over time, you may find that trust flows both ways: you trust others more, and they trust you. You begin to see others as human, just like you, capable of mistakes but also worthy of understanding.

A Simple Way to Start

You can begin managing your anger today, starting with a common trigger: traffic. The next time someone cuts you off, pause and imagine their story. Perhaps they’ve had a rough day—maybe they lost their job or are worried about a sick child. Picture them as someone who, like you, has struggled to feel loved or understood, resorting to aggression as a way to cope. Craft a story rooted in compassion. You’ll be surprised how this shift in perspective softens your reaction. That same compassion you extend outward often returns, fostering kinder thoughts about yourself and others. As you let go of the victim mindset, your life opens up to new possibilities.

By choosing calm over chaos, you reclaim your power and build stronger, more trusting relationships. Start small, stay mindful, and watch how your world transforms.

If you’re seeking help with managing anger, our team is happy to connect you with one of our therapists. Contact us at (866) 522-2472 to get started.

Understanding OCD: Beyond Everyday Language

The word “obsession” gets thrown around a lot these days—like saying you’re “obsessed” with a TV show or a new hobby. But using the term so casually can water down its real meaning, especially when it comes to Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD). In the mental health world, an obsession isn’t just liking something a lot. It’s a persistent, unwanted thought, urge, or image that barges into your mind and causes serious stress or anxiety.

Similarly, people often jokingly say they’re “so OCD” because they like things neat or organized. But being tidy isn’t the same as having OCD. OCD is a serious condition that involves distressing thoughts and often leads to repetitive behaviors to try to ease the anxiety. Calling someone “OCD” because they like a clean desk can make light of what people with OCD actually go through.

What Obsessions really look like in OCD

To give you a clearer picture, here are some common types of obsessions people with OCD might experience, based on tools like the Yale-Brown Obsessive Compulsive Scale (Y-BOCS):

  • Worrying you might accidentally hurt someone

  • Disturbing or violent images popping into your head

  • Fear of causing something terrible, like a car accident or a house fire

  • Constant stress about getting sick or spreading germs

  • Unwanted sexual thoughts or images

  • Worrying about offending your beliefs or morals

  • Feeling like everything needs to be “perfectly” right or wrong

  • Needing things arranged in a certain way to avoid something bad

  • Feeling driven to remember or know specific details

  • Fear of saying something wrong or inappropriate

  • A nagging need for things to feel “just right”

These aren’t passing thoughts or quirky preferences. They’re intrusive, upsetting, and can make you feel trapped, often pushing you to do things to try to calm the anxiety.

How Compulsions Fit In

With OCD, obsessions often come with compulsions—actions or mental rituals you feel compelled to do to ease the stress from those thoughts. For example, if you’re terrified of germs, you might wash your hands over and over. Or if you’re scared you might harm someone, you might keep checking to make sure you didn’t. These actions might feel like they help for a moment, but they actually keep the cycle of anxiety going, which is why getting professional help is so important.

Evidence Based Treatment for OCD

The good news is OCD can be managed. The most effective treatment is called Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP). It works by slowly helping you face your fears without giving in to the compulsions. Over time, this reduces the power of those obsessive thoughts and helps you feel more in control.

Seeking Help

If you or someone you care about is dealing with persistent, upsetting thoughts or feels stuck doing rituals to manage anxiety, it’s worth talking to a professional. Look for a mental health therapist who knows OCD well or has training in treating it. Getting help can make a big difference in feeling better and living life more fully.

We’re here to help you find the right therapist. Call (866) 522-2472 to set up a consultation.

Unraveling Emotional Eating: Why We Eat Our Feelings

Have you ever grabbed a bag of chips after a tough day or reached for chocolate when you’re feeling down? That’s emotional eating—turning to food to cope with feelings like stress, sadness, or boredom, instead of eating because your body needs fuel. Unlike eating to satisfy physical hunger, emotional eating is driven by emotions and can lead to overeating, weight gain, and feelings of guilt or regret.

Here’s the deal: emotional eating is like using food as a cozy blanket to soothe negative emotions. It’s not about enjoying a meal but about finding quick comfort. Research points to several reasons why this happens:

  • Strict Dieting: Constantly restricting food can make you more likely to eat when emotions run high.

  • Missing Hunger Cues: Some people struggle to tell if they’re truly hungry or full, so they eat based on feelings instead.

  • Trouble Expressing Emotions: Known as alexithymia, difficulty identifying or sharing emotions can lead to using food as a coping tool.

  • Stress Responses: A disrupted stress system (like the hypothalamic-pituitary-adrenal axis) can trigger emotional eating.

  • Life and Genetics: Childhood experiences, like inconsistent emotional support, or genetic tendencies can make some people more prone to eating when upset.

Emotional eating is closely tied to mental health, especially depression. When you’re feeling low, you might eat for comfort, which can lead to weight gain. That extra weight can make you feel even worse, creating a hard-to-break cycle.

So, what can you do? Research shows mindful eating—paying full attention to your food and your body’s signals—can help. It’s about enjoying your meals without judgment and recognizing whether you’re eating out of hunger or emotion. Tools like mindfulness practices, journaling, or therapy can also teach you healthier ways to handle stress and emotions.

Easy Ways to Eat Mindfully

Want to try mindful eating? Here are some simple tips to get started:

  • Ditch Distractions: Put your phone away, turn off the TV, and focus on your meal. Notice and appreciate the colors, smells, and textures.

  • Slow Down: Take small bites and chew slowly, savoring each one like it’s a gourmet treat. Pause to check if you’re still hungry or starting to feel full.

  • Check Your Mood: Before eating, ask yourself, “Am I physically hungry, or am I stressed or bored?” This quick check-in can make a big difference.

  • Choose Feel-Good Foods: Pick a juicy piece of fruit over a candy bar, or enjoy a smaller portion of your favorite treat—savor every bite!

Mindful eating helps you enjoy food, manage stress, and build healthier habits. It can lead to eating less, feeling fuller, and breaking free from the cycle of emotional eating. Learning to manage emotions is a key part of this journey, helping you feel more in control and confident.

If you’re ready to tackle emotional eating or want tips for healthier ways to cope with stress, we’re here to help! Reach out to us at (866) 522-2472 for support in finding balance and feeling better.

Love, Laughs, and Online Dating Disasters: The Wild Ride of Romance

Picture this: you’re in a new relationship, your heart’s doing somersaults, and you’re practically glowing like a human lightbulb. Love, or even the hint of it, is one of life’s greatest plot twists. A fresh romance can make your mental and physical health do a happy dance, spark hope in the grumpiest of hearts, and light up your life like fireworks. We humans are basically hardwired for connection. Give us joy, devotion, and a partner who laughs at our bad puns, and we’re as satisfied as a cat in a sunbeam. Those early days of a budding romance? Pure magic. Butterflies in your stomach? Check. Anxiety that you might accidentally send a text meant for your bestie to your new crush? Double check.

The Wild World of Modern Dating

Thanks to the internet, finding a date is now as easy as swiping right while binge-watching your favorite show. Dating apps have turned romance into a buffet of options—there’s someone for everyone, from “loves long walks on the beach” to “owns 17 ferrets and a questionable collection of novelty socks.” But let’s not kid ourselves: for every match that seems made in heaven, there’s a profile pic that screams, “I peaked in 2008.” Putting yourself out there is tough, especially if your heart’s been through the wringer. What if they see the real you—the one who sings off-key in the shower and cries at pet adoption commercials? What if they ghost you? Worse, what if you ghost yourself by overthinking every text you send?

But here’s the million-dollar question: What if it all works out? Sure, you can heal and grow solo (props to you, self-love warriors). Relationships form like a science experiment where you mix equal parts vulnerability, hope, and awkward first-date stories. Stick it out past the honeymoon phase—when the rose-tinted glasses come off and you realize your partner leaves dishes in the sink and snores like a lawnmower—and you might just discover transformative magic.

The Partner Pick: Choose Wisely, Laugh Often

A partner won’t “make” you happy. But they can be the cherry on top of your life’s sundae or the soggy lettuce in your sandwich. Trust your gut—it’s like your internal GPS, even if it occasionally leads you to a drive-thru at 2 a.m. A healthy relationship is worth the rollercoaster of worry and uncertainty, like when you’re wondering if they’ll text back or if they’re just “busy.” Pick someone who vibes with your dreams, whether that’s building a cozy life together or a great adventure. But let’s be real: nobody’s perfect. We’re all lovably imperfect—like, “I forgot how to flirt but I’m great at tripping over my own feet” imperfect. Dating is a messy and sometimes hilarious adventure, and wherever you are on the journey—swiping, crying, or sending memes to your crush—it’s all part of the ride.

Surviving the Dating Jungle

So, how do you navigate this jungle of heart emojis and poorly lit selfies? First, embrace the chaos. Dating is not supposed to be easy. Laugh at the bad dates (like the guy who brought his mom to dinner) and learn from the heartbreak (even the one who dumped you via Post-it note). Keep your heart open. Even if you trip over a few duds, you might stumble into someone who thinks your weird laugh is adorable and doesn’t mind that you quote The Office in every conversation.

In the end, dating is about finding someone who sticks around when the going gets tough, and who maybe, just maybe, loves your quirky, imperfect self as much as you’re learning to. So, go forth, brave the swipe-fest, and don’t be afraid to fall. Like a good Wi-Fi signal, love is worth searching for.

If dating feels like a punch to the heart and old fears are popping up like uninvited exes, or you just need a guide through this chaotic swipe-fest, a therapist can be your wingman. Call (866) 522-2472 to book an appointment and tame the wild ride!

Understanding Postpartum Anxiety

While postpartum depression is widely recognized, postpartum anxiety often lingers in the shadows, affecting many new mothers without the same level of awareness. This condition manifests as intense, often overwhelming fears about a baby’s safety, with vivid, intrusive thoughts of harm—such as the baby falling, getting hurt, or even more distressing scenarios like bleeding. These fears can jolt a mother awake from vivid dreams where she’s forgotten something critical to her child’s safety. Everyday stories of accidents or mishaps can amplify these anxieties, leaving new mothers feeling trapped in a cycle of worry. It’s a silent struggle for many, but understanding its signs can be the first step toward relief.

Postpartum anxiety shows up in a variety of mental, emotional, physical, and behavioral symptoms. Mentally, it can bring excessive worry about the baby’s well-being, intrusive thoughts of harm, or relentless generalized anxiety that’s hard to control. Some mothers experience obsessive-compulsive thoughts or sudden panic attacks, paired with feelings of being overwhelmed, irritable, or hopeless. Physically, symptoms might include a racing heart, shortness of breath, nausea, dizziness, muscle tension, or disrupted sleep—even when the baby is resting peacefully. Behaviorally, mothers may avoid certain situations, compulsively check on their baby, or struggle to concentrate, sometimes withdrawing from loved ones. These symptoms can feel isolating, but they’re more common than many realize and don’t reflect a mother’s ability to care for her child.

You are not alone in these fears—they are not omens but simply the mind’s response to the stress and overstimulation of new parenthood. Feeding these thoughts by dwelling on them can deepen the anxiety, but relief is possible. Try acknowledging these fear-based thoughts without following them down the rabbit hole. Breathe deeply, exhaling the worry, and shift your focus to the love and joy your child brings. Engage in small, grounding actions—laugh, move your body, or find a thought that feels lighter. If the anxiety becomes unmanageable, don’t hesitate to seek support. Therapists are equipped to help you navigate this, offering tools to ease the burden and rediscover calm. You’re not failing; you’re human, and help is within reach.

Unveiling the Trap of Avoidance: A Path to Conquer Depression

Have you ever felt so weighed down by depression that the mere thought of getting out of bed feels like climbing a mountain? The daily grind—stressors, social interactions, even routine tasks—can sap every ounce of energy, leaving you drained and hopeless. As depression lingers, the world dims: job prospects seem bleak, connections with others fray, and activities that once sparked joy now feel hollow. Life becomes a cycle of exhaustion, with little light at the end of the tunnel.

In these moments, we instinctively gravitate toward comfort. It’s human nature to seek relief, to escape the weight of our struggles. Maybe it’s the allure of staying in bed, where worries can’t touch you for just a little longer. Or perhaps it’s diving into an addictive TV series, letting eight seasons of drama drown out reality. Isolation, too, can feel like a safe cocoon, shielding you from the chaos of the world. These retreats—sleep, binge-watching, solitude—offer a fleeting sense of peace. But what happens when they become daily habits? The harsh truth is, the misery doesn’t vanish. You wake up each morning to the same struggles, unchanged and unrelenting.

This is where avoidance sneaks in, masquerading as a friend. Avoidance is depression’s sly accomplice, offering quick fixes that feel good in the moment but leave you empty in the long run. Picture this: after a painful breakup, you hit the bar to numb the hurt. The next day, you’re not just nursing a hangover but also wrestling with deeper regret and spiraling thoughts—maybe even legal troubles if a DUI enters the picture. Avoidance doesn’t solve problems; it often creates new ones.

Here’s the tricky part: avoidance isn’t always obvious. It can hide in seemingly positive activities. Exercise, for instance, is universally praised as healthy. But what if you’re hitting the gym to dodge a social event or avoid studying for a crucial exam? Suddenly, that “healthy” habit becomes a barrier to progress. The same activity can wear different faces: a nap to recharge for a productive day is worlds apart from a third nap to sidestep a job search. Avoidance is personal, shapeshifting based on your intentions.

But here’s the good news: recognizing avoidance as the enemy is the first step toward breaking free. Enter Behavioral Activation, a powerful therapy that shines a light on these patterns and offers a roadmap to healthier coping. Lost your job? The urge to sleep, vent, or drown your sorrows might be overwhelming. But instead, imagine channeling that energy into action—polishing your resume, scouring job boards, or networking. It’s not easy, especially when you feel defeated. Yet, taking those small, deliberate steps can spark a shift in your mood. Action breeds momentum, and momentum fuels hope.

You don’t have to fight this battle alone. Surrounding yourself with supportive people—friends, family, or a therapist—can keep you accountable and remind you that you’re not defined by your struggles. Waiting for the “perfect” mood to tackle your goals is a trap; start now, and the mood will follow.

Ready to break the cycle? Let’s stop avoiding and start acting. The path out of depression is tough, but every step forward is a victory.

Breaking the Stigma: Why Therapy Is Strength, Not Shame

Let’s talk about something that’s been a bit of a heavy topic for way too long—therapy. I know, I know, there’s this old, stubborn stigma that makes it feel like reaching out for help with our mental health is something to be ashamed of. But honestly, that’s such a shame because we humans? We’re wired for connection. We need each other, like, deep in our bones, to get through life’s ups and downs.

Still, somehow, society has convinced so many of us that we should go it alone. Like, if we just hide our struggles—our pain, our messy emotions, all the stuff that keeps us from feeling truly happy—we’re being strong. But let’s be real: that’s not strength. That’s just pretending, and it doesn’t make the hard stuff disappear. We’re human, not superheroes! Having emotions isn’t a flaw—it’s what makes us, us.

Here’s the thing: when we shove our feelings down, they don’t just vanish. They build up, like toxic gunk, and over time, that can really mess with our wellbeing—and even spill over onto the people we love. But talking to a therapist? It’s like opening a window to let all that heavy stuff out so it doesn’t drag us down. Therapy gives us a safe space to dig into the messy parts of ourselves, to figure out what’s really going on inside. Sometimes, we even uncover old hurts we didn’t realize were dimming our light—and that’s when the healing starts.

There’s nothing wrong with having emotions, and there’s definitely nothing wrong with asking for help to navigate them. Honestly, it takes a lot of guts to say, “I need support,” and I think that’s something pretty amazing. So, let’s ditch the shame and embrace the fact that we’re all in this together, okay?

Loss and Heartbreak

Hey there, losing something or someone dear to you can feel like a punch to the gut, can’t it? Just because they’re gone doesn’t mean your love or care for them vanishes. Grief and loss? They’re heavy, like a weight that makes you want to crawl back under the covers. Whether it’s a breakup, a loved one passing, losing a job, or feeling your health slip, the pain can hit hard.

We get so used to the rhythm of our lives—those familiar faces, routines, or abilities—that when they’re suddenly gone, it’s like our hearts can’t catch up. It’s hard to wrap your head around the fact that what you cherished isn’t there anymore. For some, it’s a quiet ache. For others, it feels like a gaping hole in your chest, so deep you’re scared it’ll swallow you whole if you let yourself feel it. And sometimes, it’s even messier—maybe you’re angry or relieved, and that tangles up with the sadness in ways that make no sense.

But here’s the thing: your heart’s a muscle, and yeah, it can watermark and tear so it can heal stronger. Riding those waves of grief isn’t easy—it’s okay to take it slow, to let yourself feel a little at a time. Be kind to yourself; this stuff is tough. With time, the hurt softens, and you’ll find your footing again, maybe a little changed, but still you.

Joining us in May: Alissa Krueger

Alissa is joining Birch Counseling as a graduate student intern from St. Mary’s University in the Counseling and Psychological Services program. She has over 15 years of experience in diverse administrative roles, collaborating with people from various backgrounds.

Alissa offers a warm, compassionate, and safe space to explore what matters most to clients. She believes every client deserves to feel heard, seen, and validated. She values humor to build connections and create a supportive space for growth.

Alissa works with adults, older adolescents, and couples. She uses an integrative approach that includes aspects of acceptance and commitment therapy, narrative therapy, motivational interviewing, and feminist therapy. As a mother, Alissa has a special interest in supporting individuals experiencing pregnancy and postpartum depression and anxiety. She is passionate about helping new parents navigate the challenges of expanding their family.

In her free time, Alissa enjoys reading at coffee shops, making arts and crafts with her children, and taking advantage of the many Minnesota lakes.