Accepting what is versus chasing happy

Somewhere, somehow most of us have learned that a happy life means never having to feel anything other than positive emotions.  When sadness visits, or anger, or disappointment, it feels sick, like something is wrong with us. It feels as though we are not enough, our lives are not enough.  We try to distract from negatives and chase happy feelings, only to fall short again and again.

What if we could learn to work with these “negative” feelings in a way that better informs us?  Accepting and being curious about the entire range of our emotions can help us become more compassionate, healthy and ultimately more resilient.  

Social Media and Teen Mental Health

A study recently published in JAMA suggests social media use among teenagers is significantly correlated with increasing suicide rates. The U.S. Department of Health & Human Services suggests 71% of pre-teens, teenagers and young adults use more than one social media site. The most popular social media platforms are Snapchat, Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, and YouTube. Day-to-day usage can include messaging, video chatting, picture posting, blogging, article sharing, among many others. Essentially, young people today are connecting with each other online far more than face-to-face.

Teens spend dozens of hours a week scrolling, posting, and reading, and increasingly data confirm this comes at a high cost. Social media makes it easy to airbrush experiences and life events, leaving out details about the mundane, the struggles and difficulties. Young people are particularly vulnerable to these distortions as their sense of self is still in the process of developing, and peers are highly influential. “Who am I compared to others” is one of their top concerns, and when you compare yourself to airbrushed profiles, you tend to come up short. Increasing numbers of young people report feeling inadequate, jealous, anxious and depressed.

If you think social media may be affecting your mental health or the health of someone you know, consider these tips:

• Turn off your notifications for at least a few hours each day (which you can gradually increase); put your phone in “Airplane” mode or “Do Not Disturb”.

• Delete apps that contribute to unhealthy body image or other feelings of inadequacy. Add apps that help you feel better about yourself or inspire you to engage in healthy behaviors. Meditation apps can be a better use of your time, for example: Calm, Insight Timer, and Headspace. 

• Use an alarm clock instead of relying on your phone as an alarm to prevent you from using your phone the minute you wake up.

• Take a day off from social media to focus on other things. Sunday is a good suggestion since it is a day when you probably aren’t in school or at work.

• Consider putting your phone in grayscale. This makes your phone less enticing to look at. With the colorful apps and notifications changed to gray, they may be easier to ignore.

• Set boundaries or only certain times when you can check your notifications.

• Start a habit of placing your phone near the door when you come home — doing it with a friend, partner, or family member can help you stay motivated and accountable! Make a plan with a group of friends to spend more time hanging out in person and less time interacting via social media.

• If you are a parent wanting to learn more about how to limit your child or teenager’s social media use, check out these additional tips from the American Academy of Pediatrics.

The Connection Between Facebook and Depression

We live in a world of social media addiction and a virtual world that isn’t real. We’re online constantly: at home, work, the bus, school, and simply whenever we have down time. We’re barraged by what people choose to share — the best of themselves, and what they want you to believe about their lives. 

No doubt about it, there are psychological effects of this new digital age that are only just being uncovered. 

Depression and Social Media
Recently, researchers at the University of Pittsburgh School of Medicine conducted a study about the effects of social media habits on the moods of users. 

This research found that the more time young adults use social media, the more likely they feel  depressed.

According to their study, participants used social media 61 minutes per day and visited various social media accounts 30 times per week on average and more than a quarter of them were classified as having “high” indicators of depression.

How could Social Media cause Depression?
What we present on social media isn’t necessarily the truth of our lives. Rather, most are aware it's a thin veneer of a highly edited, idealized and exaggerated version of who we'd like to be. Still, it tends to bring out feelings of envy, a sense that others are happier than we are or living a more successful life.

Despite recognizing the shallowness of social media content, many still feel stuck in constant participation, then end up feeling empty, lost in meaningless exchanges that feel like a waste of time.

Spending significant time online exposes social media participants to cyber-bullying, invites gossip and judgment from others. While many who struggle with depression may use social media to fill a void, exposure also can strengthen depression, and so create a vicious cycle.

What can I do? 
Set limits on how often you are on social media. Seek out offline interactions with friends and family. If you can, stop using a smart phone — the tendency to check updates and alerts is ever-present, and often they are not important. 

If you find that you are unable to control your online behavior, seek professional help to break the compulsive cycle.

An estimated 600,000 US Women Experience this Depression...

On International Women’s Day, we’ll take a look at a mental health issue affects a large number of women: postpartum depression (PPD), or a depression that occurs after childbirth.

Counter to what you might think, PPD is fairly common.  According to the CDC, 11 to 25 percent of mothers experience postpartum depression.

Sadly, more than half of those affected by it (15 percent) do not seek any professional help.

There are multiple issues that keep women from seeking help for this disorder, most notably guilt and shame. It’s difficult for new mothers to come to terms with “the baby blues” – after all, isn’t having a new baby supposed to be the happiest moment in our lives?

Postpartum depression can be serious. Symptoms may include:

• Depressed mood or severe mood swings
• Excessive crying
• Difficulty bonding with your baby
• Withdrawing from family and friends
• Loss of appetite or eating much more than usual
• Inability to sleep (insomnia) or sleeping too much
• Overwhelming fatigue or loss of energy
• Reduced interest and pleasure in activities you used to enjoy
• Intense irritability and anger
• Fear that you're not a good mother
• Feelings of worthlessness, shame, guilt or inadequacy
• Diminished ability to think clearly, concentrate or make decisions
• Severe anxiety and panic attacks
• Thoughts of harming yourself or your baby
• Recurrent thoughts of death or suicide

Hormonal changes and the stress from sleep deprivation that comes with caring for a newborn are thought to be causes of PPD.

Left unaddressed PPD can lead to chronic problems with depression and anxiety. Mothers with PPD often have difficulty bonding with their children, which impacts their development and so can affect their own mental health down the road.  For your sake, as well as the sake of your child, it is important to seek help. 

Postpartum depression can lead to suicidal thoughts.  
Should you have thoughts of harming yourself or your baby, it is critical to seek help right away.  Please ask for help from those who support you and your baby.  You may also contact:

• Your mental health care provider
• The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (1-800-273-8255).
• The Crisis Connection, at 612-379-6363, or 1-866-379-6363.
• Your primary care doctor, minister or spiritual leader
• 911
• The mobile crisis team in your county:
  • Anoka: 763-755-3801
  • Carver/Scott: 952-442-7601
  • Dakota: 952-891-7171
  • Hennepin: adults - 612-596-1223, children - 612-348-2233
  • Ramsey: adults - 651-266-7900, children - 651-774-7000
  • Washington: 651-777-5222

Please remember: PPD is not your fault. 

Your body has just undergone significant hormonal changes, and you’re adjusting to a very stressful new reality.  You are not alone.  In the United States alone, an estimated 600,000 women struggle with this disorder. Help is available. 

For your own sake, and the sake of your baby, please reach out.

You are NOT your problems.

It takes a lot of courage to ask for help. And, it usually takes a lot of time to muster up that courage. 

But, by the time you ask, you’ve most likely internalized your problems. 

Internalizing problems over a long period of time can lead to ‘absorbing’ the problems into our identity, meaning you begin to define yourself by the problems. This not only exacerbates your problems, but it also becomes a malicious adversary in our lives. 

When you realize this, it’s time to begin to view problems as being ‘other’ and therefore able to be influenced, challenged, changed, even eradicated.

Therapy can help challenge any preexisting internalization of the problem. That is to say, therapy can be understood, in part, as a process by which the individual can begin to be separated from his/her problematic symptoms. 

No matter how educated we may be and intellectually or emotionally sophisticated; in the quiet moments when our problem presents as overwhelming how long until some version of the internal message ‘what is wrong with me?’ enters into our consciousness.

We live in a society that relentlessly facilitates the internalization of our problems; intertwined into the habitual fabric of our lives. Some of us grow up in homes where shameful messages were ever present. ‘Something is wrong’ so often became ‘something is wrong with me’. If our problematic symptoms are indivisible from ourselves then we are condemned to being ‘less than’, ‘broken’, being ‘apart from’. 

But this is not true.

• You are NOT your symptoms. 
  • You are NOT your problems. 
    • You are NOT your thoughts.

Through Narrative Therapy, we can help you externalize the problems and affirm that you are not the problem, rather the problem is the problem. 

We are here to help.

This Halloween, don't wear self-harm make up.

Self-injury is a non-suicidal form of self-harm which is intended to hurt oneself on the surface of the body and can include cutting, burning, or punching oneself (among other forms). It is a way to deal with emotional pain and can have similar features to other addictive behaviors because it can cause temporary emotional relief but is often followed by feelings of shame and guilt and accompanied with secretive behaviors. 

Self-harm is also dangerous as it has been shown to have a "cluster effect" meaning that the occurrence of self-harm can increase for those who are in close proximity to those who self-harm. Oftentimes individuals who self-harm are not doing it for attention but rather are trying to express (however unhealthy) painful emotions. 

This Halloween, stores are selling "suicide scar" make up. We at Birch Counseling want to increase awareness, and as mental health professionals want to note that this "costume" increases stigma, may prevent those who are secretly struggling from seeking help, and may spark an increase in self-harming behaviors. Self-injury is not a joke and should not be treated as such.

We want you to know that if you self-harm, you are not alone, we understand and we're here to help.

Birch Expands and Announces Appointments Within 24 Hours

Press Release    
For Immediate Release

Contact
John Komarek
john@curlycreative.us

BIRCH EXPANDS, ANNOUNCES  APPOINTMENTS WITHIN 24- HOURS AT NEW LOCATION

Golden Valley, Minn. – Birch Counseling announces the addition of Appointments Within 24-hours at its new location in Golden Valley.

“People experiencing a Mental Health Crisis are sometimes asked to wait for weeks, sometimes months.” Surerus said. “As a counselor, asking a client to wait for help during a crisis is unacceptable. We needed to eliminate that barrier.”

For ten years and counting, Birch has been dedicated to making essential counseling services more accessible, and through this new location and new service they increase that accessibility.

“A Mental Health Crisis doesn’t follow an appointment calendar, so why are people asked to wait?” Founder Christa Surerus said. “Birch is proud to offer counseling when a person needs it most: when they muster up the courage to call for help.”

Every year, 1 in 5 people live with mental illness and will need Mental Health Counseling during their lifetime Currently, it’s not unheard of to be put on a two-month wait list just to be seen.

“Life changing events happen to us all, and that can lead to the need for Mental Health Counseling.” Surerus said. “And during a crisis, minutes count. A small barrier like waiting for a scheduled appointment may have a large impact.”

Appointments Within 24-Hours are now offered at Birch’s Golden Valley location and will occur during business hours: 7am-6pm.

Birch Counseling serves Minnesotans with safe, compassionate, and confidential Mental Health and Substance Abuse Counseling. They have locations in Minneapolis, Hopkins, and now Golden Valley.

Birch Counseling Announces No More Wait Lists

Birch Counseling's Founder Christa Surerus announces that they will offer Appointments Within 24 Hours for mental health counseling at their location in Golden Valley.

How you can help a loved one who struggles with depression

It's the little things that can make a big difference for someone battling depression. Here's 5 things you can do to help a loved one with depression: 

1. Invite them to a social gathering with people. Not a huge party, but even just coffee with you at a coffee shop, or a small quiet group of friends watching a movie together.
    
2.  Offer to pick them up and take them to the event. Make it as easy and effortless to participate as possible.  Make sure the gathering is low key and expectations are low.
    
3. Making decisions can be very difficult for people who struggle with depression. Help them by giving them easy choices.  Pick or organize an event or show you know they’d like.  If needed, make childcare arrangements for them.
    
4. Go for a walk or a bike ride with them.  Take them to a gym. While they may not always feel up for it, exercise, being in the company of others, and spending time outdoors can help. 
    
5. Caring for someone with depression is hard and can lead to burnout.  Make sure you assemble a team of people who can help support the person, as well as you.

Help is available

If you believe a loved one is considering suicide, you should know that help is available.  In addition to Emergency rooms and crisis hotlines, every county in the metropolitan Twin Cities area has a mobile crisis team. Mobile crisis teams are trained to help.  They can talk to your loved one, offer transportation to a safe place, and connect them with resources and professional support. 

Response time for a mobile crisis team can be a few hours.  

In immediately life-threatening or extremely dangerous situations, please call 911.

Examples of situations when the local county Mobile Crisis Team should be called:

1. When you think someone you know is in danger of committing suicide
2. When you notice disruptive, suddenly bizarre, or out-of-control behavior of an adult or child.
3. When you are a parent who needs to place your children in the Crisis Nursery.
4. When you need support in caring for someone who is struggling with mental illness or emotional disturbance.
5. When there has been a domestic or sexual assault.
6.  If you have general questions about handling a crisis or need to be referred to professional resources.

How to reach your local crisis team:

1. Anoka                  (763) 755-3801
2. Carver/Scott       (952) 442-7601
3. Dakota                 (952) 891-7171
4. Hennepin             (612) 596-1223 (adults)      (612) 348-2233 (children)
5. Ramsey                (651) 266-7900 (adults)      (651) 774-7000 (children)
6. Washington         (651) 777-5222

10 Questions to Help Identify Suicide Warning Signs

Most who consider suicide will give a loved one warning signs about their plans for suicide. But what exactly are those?

To identify warning signs, ask yourself these 10 questions:

1. Do they exhibit or talk about feeling a deep sense of hopelessness about the future, with little expectation that circumstances can improve?
2. Are they talking about death a lot or making oblique references to it?
3. After a period of depression/moodiness, have they suddenly and unexpectedly become calm?
4. Are they withdrawing from social activities - especially ones they previously enjoyed?
5. Have they stopped caring about personal appearance?
6. Are they engaging in risky behaviors? Reckless driving? Drugs/Alcohol? Unsafe sex?
7. Has a major life crisis occurred? Death of recent loved one? Divorce? Bankruptcy?
8. Are they putting a lot of their affairs in order? This might include visiting loved ones members, giving away possessions, making a will, and cleaning up his or her room or home.

If you answer yes to these questions, check in with your friend or loved one.  Tell them you’re concerned about them.  Tell them that you care.  Ask them if they’re having suicidal thoughts.  Call the National Suicide Prevention line 1 (800) 273-8255.

What should I expect in my counseling session?

Empowering you is the primary focus of counseling.

This is your space.

This is your time.

You are in charge.

You tell us what you wish to accomplish.

Our providers focus on getting to know you. What matters to you, what is important? What keeps you going?  What is your idea of a fulfilling, meaningful life?

Birch counselors help you identify obstacles that seem to keep you from living the life you want. 

 Let us help you get back on track. 

Counseling is Confidential

According to the Association for Psychological Services, only 40 percent of the 60 million people who experience concerns about their emotional health actually seek help.

Common concerns and barriers to seeking assistance involve fear of judgment, or a deep-seated sense of “is this even worth talking about?” Some individuals are too ashamed of their problems, particularly in this age of Facebook, where we are constantly inundated with the airbrushed profiles of what appear to be “perfect lives.”

Contrary to popular opinion, the bravest move you can make is reaching out for help.  You may have been raised with the idea of self-reliance: you should be able to solve your problems alone, at most with the assistance of a few trusted friends or family members.

For many of our problems, this may actually be sufficient.  For many others, it is not.  Examples include addictive behaviors, relationship problems, unexplainable feelings of sadness or a sense of emptiness despite life seemingly going well, excessive worry or anxiety, feeling inadequate or somehow defective. Such problems can trigger shame, which keeps us from reaching out. There is fear of judgment or abandonment, fear of our problems being shared with others.

As mental health professionals, we are bound by law to keep your matters confidential.  We offer a neutral perspective, and are trained to help you gain a better understanding of what troubles you.  Counselors help guide your thinking in the direction of solutions that are right for you, given the context of your particular life circumstances.

The purpose of counseling is empowerment. It is our goal to help you take charge of your own life.  We help you choose goals that are aligned with who you are and what is important to you.

Don’t Let Insurance Stop You from Seeking Help

According to the Association for Psychological Sciences, the stigma of seeking help from a mental health provider continue to stop 60 percent of the estimated 60 million people who experience problems with depression, anxiety, substance use, behavioral or relationship concerns.

Those who consider seeking help are often deterred by financial concerns: will my insurance cover this service?

Fortunately, mental health counseling today is covered by most insurance plans.

Birch Counseling is contracted with a number of insurance plans, making care with our providers accessible and affordable.

We would be delighted to assist you with any questions you might have about your insurance coverage for counseling services. 

Birch Counseling Now Accepts Blue Cross/Blue Shield Health Insurance

Birch Counseling is so pleased to announce we now accept Blue Cross/Shield Health Insurance, one of the largest providers of insurance nationwide. 

In addition to Blue Cross, we accept most PreferredOne plans, UCare, Medica, United, Aetna, UMR, Metropolitan Health, Medical Assistance, ChampVA, Value Options and more. 

Denial about Problem Drinking

One of the biggest hurdles for a problem drinker to overcome is denial. It leads to rationalization, because the desire to drink is so strong. Denial stops a problem drinker from getting help and exacerbates alcohol-related problems with work, finances, and relationships.
 
While work, relationship, and financial stresses happen to everyone, an overall pattern of deterioration and blaming others may be a sign of trouble.
 
Common Rationalizations
Drastically underestimating how much you drink
Downplaying the negative consequences of your drinking
Complaining that family and friends are exaggerating the problem
Blaming your drinking or drinking-related problems on others

If you find yourself rationalizing your drinking habits, lying about them, or refusing to discuss the subject, take a moment to consider why you’re so defensive. If you truly believe you don’t have a problem, there should be no reason for you to cover up your drinking or make excuses.
 
You can always find support from friends, family or a trusted therapist.