Love, Laughs, and Online Dating Disasters: The Wild Ride of Romance

Picture this: you’re in a new relationship, your heart’s doing somersaults, and you’re practically glowing like a human lightbulb. Love, or even the hint of it, is one of life’s greatest plot twists. A fresh romance can make your mental and physical health do a happy dance, spark hope in the grumpiest of hearts, and light up your life like fireworks. We humans are basically hardwired for connection. Give us joy, devotion, and a partner who laughs at our bad puns, and we’re as satisfied as a cat in a sunbeam. Those early days of a budding romance? Pure magic. Butterflies in your stomach? Check. Anxiety that you might accidentally send a text meant for your bestie to your new crush? Double check.

The Wild World of Modern Dating

Thanks to the internet, finding a date is now as easy as swiping right while binge-watching your favorite show. Dating apps have turned romance into a buffet of options—there’s someone for everyone, from “loves long walks on the beach” to “owns 17 ferrets and a questionable collection of novelty socks.” But let’s not kid ourselves: for every match that seems made in heaven, there’s a profile pic that screams, “I peaked in 2008.” Putting yourself out there is tough, especially if your heart’s been through the wringer. What if they see the real you—the one who sings off-key in the shower and cries at pet adoption commercials? What if they ghost you? Worse, what if you ghost yourself by overthinking every text you send?

But here’s the million-dollar question: What if it all works out? Sure, you can heal and grow solo (props to you, self-love warriors). Relationships form like a science experiment where you mix equal parts vulnerability, hope, and awkward first-date stories. Stick it out past the honeymoon phase—when the rose-tinted glasses come off and you realize your partner leaves dishes in the sink and snores like a lawnmower—and you might just discover transformative magic.

The Partner Pick: Choose Wisely, Laugh Often

A partner won’t “make” you happy. But they can be the cherry on top of your life’s sundae or the soggy lettuce in your sandwich. Trust your gut—it’s like your internal GPS, even if it occasionally leads you to a drive-thru at 2 a.m. A healthy relationship is worth the rollercoaster of worry and uncertainty, like when you’re wondering if they’ll text back or if they’re just “busy.” Pick someone who vibes with your dreams, whether that’s building a cozy life together or a great adventure. But let’s be real: nobody’s perfect. We’re all lovably imperfect—like, “I forgot how to flirt but I’m great at tripping over my own feet” imperfect. Dating is a messy and sometimes hilarious adventure, and wherever you are on the journey—swiping, crying, or sending memes to your crush—it’s all part of the ride.

Surviving the Dating Jungle

So, how do you navigate this jungle of heart emojis and poorly lit selfies? First, embrace the chaos. Dating is not supposed to be easy. Laugh at the bad dates (like the guy who brought his mom to dinner) and learn from the heartbreak (even the one who dumped you via Post-it note). Keep your heart open. Even if you trip over a few duds, you might stumble into someone who thinks your weird laugh is adorable and doesn’t mind that you quote The Office in every conversation.

In the end, dating is about finding someone who sticks around when the going gets tough, and who maybe, just maybe, loves your quirky, imperfect self as much as you’re learning to. So, go forth, brave the swipe-fest, and don’t be afraid to fall. Like a good Wi-Fi signal, love is worth searching for.

If dating feels like a punch to the heart and old fears are popping up like uninvited exes, or you just need a guide through this chaotic swipe-fest, a therapist can be your wingman. Call (866) 522-2472 to book an appointment and tame the wild ride!

Understanding Postpartum Anxiety

While postpartum depression is widely recognized, postpartum anxiety often lingers in the shadows, affecting many new mothers without the same level of awareness. This condition manifests as intense, often overwhelming fears about a baby’s safety, with vivid, intrusive thoughts of harm—such as the baby falling, getting hurt, or even more distressing scenarios like bleeding. These fears can jolt a mother awake from vivid dreams where she’s forgotten something critical to her child’s safety. Everyday stories of accidents or mishaps can amplify these anxieties, leaving new mothers feeling trapped in a cycle of worry. It’s a silent struggle for many, but understanding its signs can be the first step toward relief.

Postpartum anxiety shows up in a variety of mental, emotional, physical, and behavioral symptoms. Mentally, it can bring excessive worry about the baby’s well-being, intrusive thoughts of harm, or relentless generalized anxiety that’s hard to control. Some mothers experience obsessive-compulsive thoughts or sudden panic attacks, paired with feelings of being overwhelmed, irritable, or hopeless. Physically, symptoms might include a racing heart, shortness of breath, nausea, dizziness, muscle tension, or disrupted sleep—even when the baby is resting peacefully. Behaviorally, mothers may avoid certain situations, compulsively check on their baby, or struggle to concentrate, sometimes withdrawing from loved ones. These symptoms can feel isolating, but they’re more common than many realize and don’t reflect a mother’s ability to care for her child.

You are not alone in these fears—they are not omens but simply the mind’s response to the stress and overstimulation of new parenthood. Feeding these thoughts by dwelling on them can deepen the anxiety, but relief is possible. Try acknowledging these fear-based thoughts without following them down the rabbit hole. Breathe deeply, exhaling the worry, and shift your focus to the love and joy your child brings. Engage in small, grounding actions—laugh, move your body, or find a thought that feels lighter. If the anxiety becomes unmanageable, don’t hesitate to seek support. Therapists are equipped to help you navigate this, offering tools to ease the burden and rediscover calm. You’re not failing; you’re human, and help is within reach.

Unveiling the Trap of Avoidance: A Path to Conquer Depression

Have you ever felt so weighed down by depression that the mere thought of getting out of bed feels like climbing a mountain? The daily grind—stressors, social interactions, even routine tasks—can sap every ounce of energy, leaving you drained and hopeless. As depression lingers, the world dims: job prospects seem bleak, connections with others fray, and activities that once sparked joy now feel hollow. Life becomes a cycle of exhaustion, with little light at the end of the tunnel.

In these moments, we instinctively gravitate toward comfort. It’s human nature to seek relief, to escape the weight of our struggles. Maybe it’s the allure of staying in bed, where worries can’t touch you for just a little longer. Or perhaps it’s diving into an addictive TV series, letting eight seasons of drama drown out reality. Isolation, too, can feel like a safe cocoon, shielding you from the chaos of the world. These retreats—sleep, binge-watching, solitude—offer a fleeting sense of peace. But what happens when they become daily habits? The harsh truth is, the misery doesn’t vanish. You wake up each morning to the same struggles, unchanged and unrelenting.

This is where avoidance sneaks in, masquerading as a friend. Avoidance is depression’s sly accomplice, offering quick fixes that feel good in the moment but leave you empty in the long run. Picture this: after a painful breakup, you hit the bar to numb the hurt. The next day, you’re not just nursing a hangover but also wrestling with deeper regret and spiraling thoughts—maybe even legal troubles if a DUI enters the picture. Avoidance doesn’t solve problems; it often creates new ones.

Here’s the tricky part: avoidance isn’t always obvious. It can hide in seemingly positive activities. Exercise, for instance, is universally praised as healthy. But what if you’re hitting the gym to dodge a social event or avoid studying for a crucial exam? Suddenly, that “healthy” habit becomes a barrier to progress. The same activity can wear different faces: a nap to recharge for a productive day is worlds apart from a third nap to sidestep a job search. Avoidance is personal, shapeshifting based on your intentions.

But here’s the good news: recognizing avoidance as the enemy is the first step toward breaking free. Enter Behavioral Activation, a powerful therapy that shines a light on these patterns and offers a roadmap to healthier coping. Lost your job? The urge to sleep, vent, or drown your sorrows might be overwhelming. But instead, imagine channeling that energy into action—polishing your resume, scouring job boards, or networking. It’s not easy, especially when you feel defeated. Yet, taking those small, deliberate steps can spark a shift in your mood. Action breeds momentum, and momentum fuels hope.

You don’t have to fight this battle alone. Surrounding yourself with supportive people—friends, family, or a therapist—can keep you accountable and remind you that you’re not defined by your struggles. Waiting for the “perfect” mood to tackle your goals is a trap; start now, and the mood will follow.

Ready to break the cycle? Let’s stop avoiding and start acting. The path out of depression is tough, but every step forward is a victory.

Breaking the Stigma: Why Therapy Is Strength, Not Shame

Let’s talk about something that’s been a bit of a heavy topic for way too long—therapy. I know, I know, there’s this old, stubborn stigma that makes it feel like reaching out for help with our mental health is something to be ashamed of. But honestly, that’s such a shame because we humans? We’re wired for connection. We need each other, like, deep in our bones, to get through life’s ups and downs.

Still, somehow, society has convinced so many of us that we should go it alone. Like, if we just hide our struggles—our pain, our messy emotions, all the stuff that keeps us from feeling truly happy—we’re being strong. But let’s be real: that’s not strength. That’s just pretending, and it doesn’t make the hard stuff disappear. We’re human, not superheroes! Having emotions isn’t a flaw—it’s what makes us, us.

Here’s the thing: when we shove our feelings down, they don’t just vanish. They build up, like toxic gunk, and over time, that can really mess with our wellbeing—and even spill over onto the people we love. But talking to a therapist? It’s like opening a window to let all that heavy stuff out so it doesn’t drag us down. Therapy gives us a safe space to dig into the messy parts of ourselves, to figure out what’s really going on inside. Sometimes, we even uncover old hurts we didn’t realize were dimming our light—and that’s when the healing starts.

There’s nothing wrong with having emotions, and there’s definitely nothing wrong with asking for help to navigate them. Honestly, it takes a lot of guts to say, “I need support,” and I think that’s something pretty amazing. So, let’s ditch the shame and embrace the fact that we’re all in this together, okay?

Loss and Heartbreak

Hey there, losing something or someone dear to you can feel like a punch to the gut, can’t it? Just because they’re gone doesn’t mean your love or care for them vanishes. Grief and loss? They’re heavy, like a weight that makes you want to crawl back under the covers. Whether it’s a breakup, a loved one passing, losing a job, or feeling your health slip, the pain can hit hard.

We get so used to the rhythm of our lives—those familiar faces, routines, or abilities—that when they’re suddenly gone, it’s like our hearts can’t catch up. It’s hard to wrap your head around the fact that what you cherished isn’t there anymore. For some, it’s a quiet ache. For others, it feels like a gaping hole in your chest, so deep you’re scared it’ll swallow you whole if you let yourself feel it. And sometimes, it’s even messier—maybe you’re angry or relieved, and that tangles up with the sadness in ways that make no sense.

But here’s the thing: your heart’s a muscle, and yeah, it can watermark and tear so it can heal stronger. Riding those waves of grief isn’t easy—it’s okay to take it slow, to let yourself feel a little at a time. Be kind to yourself; this stuff is tough. With time, the hurt softens, and you’ll find your footing again, maybe a little changed, but still you.

Joining us in May: Alissa Krueger

Alissa is joining Birch Counseling as a graduate student intern from St. Mary’s University in the Counseling and Psychological Services program. She has over 15 years of experience in diverse administrative roles, collaborating with people from various backgrounds.

Alissa offers a warm, compassionate, and safe space to explore what matters most to clients. She believes every client deserves to feel heard, seen, and validated. She values humor to build connections and create a supportive space for growth.

Alissa works with adults, older adolescents, and couples. She uses an integrative approach that includes aspects of acceptance and commitment therapy, narrative therapy, motivational interviewing, and feminist therapy. As a mother, Alissa has a special interest in supporting individuals experiencing pregnancy and postpartum depression and anxiety. She is passionate about helping new parents navigate the challenges of expanding their family.

In her free time, Alissa enjoys reading at coffee shops, making arts and crafts with her children, and taking advantage of the many Minnesota lakes.  

Coping with Seasonal Affective Disorder in Minnesota

Living in Minnesota, where winters are long and sunlight is scarce, Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) can feel like an uninvited guest for many. SAD is more than just disliking the cold—it’s a real condition that affects your mood and energy. The lack of sunlight during those gray, chilly months can lead to Vitamin D deficiency, which disrupts the brain’s ability to produce serotonin and other feel-good chemicals needed to maintain a healthy circadian rhythm.

Brightening Your Winter Days

Fortunately, there are ways to combat the winter blues and keep SAD at bay. Staying active is one of the most effective strategies. Physical activity—whether it’s a brisk walk, hitting the slopes for some winter sports, or simply spending time in nature—can boost your body’s production of serotonin and dopamine, those natural mood-lifters. Connecting with friends or loved ones during these activities can also work wonders for your mental health.

Another helpful tool is a SAD lamp, which mimics natural daylight to lift your mood. While these lamps can brighten your day, they don’t significantly increase Vitamin D production, so supplementation is highly recommended during Minnesota’s sun-starved winters. Consult with a healthcare provider to find the right dosage for you.

SAD in Summer? It Happens.

Though we often associate SAD with cold, dreary winters, it can also strike during the summer months. However, even a brief burst of warmth and sunshine—like those early spring days when the temperature hits 45°F—can feel like a lifeline. In Minnesota, you’ll see folks shedding their coats, donning t-shirts and shorts, and soaking up every ray of sunlight as soon as the weather turns. That hope and joy, which might have felt lost just a day before, start to creep back in, reminding us of the power of light and warmth.

Take the First Step

If you’re struggling with SAD or suspect you might be, you don’t have to face it alone. Our team is here to help. To schedule an appointment with one of our providers, contact our Front Office at 866-522-2472. Let’s work together to bring a little more light into your life, no matter the season.

Recovery Support Group for Men: Brian Rose, MA, LADC

We are excited to reintroduce a men’s therapy group offered by one of our providers, Brian Rose, who recognizes the value in fellowship throughout recovery. He facilitates a safe and collaborative environment for processing amongst peers and encourages participation however individuals find fruitful.

This group takes place every Monday from 5 PM - 6:30 PM, with around three to eight people joining. To promote accessible attendance, sessions are hybrid and fluctuate between in person and virtual. Plus, the cost is significantly less than for individual therapy, usually running under $50 both with and without insurance coverage.

Via his own experience traversing the terrains of recovery, Brian found his calling aiding those walking a similar path. Brian strives to be versatile in his approach and incorporates hope, insight, and perspective, as up to 60% of a client’s outcome in therapy is tied directly with the relationship with their therapist. For more details or to register for Brian’s group, call our Front Desk at (866) 522-2472, ext. 0. The Birch Counseling Team looks forward to supporting you in your healing journey!

Welcoming February 3: José Gonzalez, , MSW, LGSW

As a provider José feels it is critical to create an environment where clients can express their innermost thoughts without fear of judgment. Where they can receive consistent, understanding, empathic, and supportive feedback. He strives to give everyone the opportunity to engage in therapy as their authentic selves. José has a master's degree in Social Work. He has worked in inpatient rehabs, community centers, and schools to name a few settings. In those roles he has garnered experience working with people from a variety of backgrounds, and many walks of life. It his mission to foment an accepting therapeutic alliance with anyone who walks through his door regardless of race, ethnicity, gender identity, religion, or any other demographic factor. He utilizes elements from Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, Dialectical Behavior Therapy, Narrative Therapy, and a few other modalities. His hope is to blend technical expertise with a healthy dose of authenticity. He is not looking to work “at” his clients, but with them, to achieve the goals they find most critical. 

Welcoming in January: Dave Smallen, PhD

After nearly a decade exploring the human condition as a social scientist and educator, Dave Smallen (he/him) is joining Birch Counseling as a clinical intern. People who know Dave well describe him as empathetic, curious, enthusiastic, and nonjudgmental. His perspective is that psychological struggles will arise for all of us sometime in life, and that with appropriate support these challenges can paradoxically become the gateway to meaningful growth and new seasons of fulfillment.

Dave is especially informed by existential, person-centered, family systems, feminist, and mindfulness approaches. He is interested in advocating for adults of all backgrounds and identities in deepening their self-knowledge, growing their capacity to live into joy and cope effectively with emotional pain, cultivating mutually supportive relationships, and aligning their everyday lives with their larger purpose—Journeys that he is dedicated to in his own life. 

Dave’s professional experience bridges the arts and sciences. Dave’s first career was as a working musician and he continues to nurture an artistic practice. He holds a PhD in Human Development and Family Studies from University of Wisconsin-Madison, and has published academic papers and studies related to meaningful social connection, responsive relationships, and mindfulness practice. He is currently completing a master’s degree in clinical mental health counseling from Minnesota State University-Moorhead.

Welcoming in August: Madison Garnhardt, MA

Madison (she/her) is a graduate student at Walden University in their Clinical Mental Health Counseling program. She is passionate about working with young children and their families, adolescents, and young adults. As a queer therapist, Madison has a special interest in working with fellow members of the LGBTQIA+ community and those who support queer rights. 

Madison uses a client-centered approach to support clients with empathy, compassion, and understanding of their worldview. Along with this, Madison utilizes mindfulness to help clients connect their physical and emotional reactions to what is happening in their life.

When not working or studying, Madison spends her time reading, playing with her pets, or hanging out at local coffee shops and book stores.

Welcoming in July: Christy Dauner, MSW, LGSW

While helping individuals suffering from chronic pain for over 30 years as an occupational therapist, Christy realized that to better help her patients heal from their physical pain she needed to learn how to fully address their psychological challenges. After putting both of her children through college she decided it was her turn and earned a Master of Social Work degree from Minnesota State University in Mankato two years later. Christy has a strong passion for helping those in need, for human connection, and for lifelong learning. She enjoys helping couples, families and individuals at all stages of life achieve improved emotional wellbeing, healthier relationships and greater resiliency. She uses a compassionate, culturally sensitive approach while respecting every individual’s autonomy.

Welcoming in June: Maddy Fiksdal, MA

Maddy has experience working in various roles and settings with adults and adolescents. She graduated with a master’s degree in Counseling for Co-Occurring Disorders from Hazelden Betty Ford Graduate School of Addiction Studies. She is a Licensed Alcohol and Drug Counselor (LADC) and is currently under supervision while working toward Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor (LPCC) licensure.

Maddy is passionate about working with individuals ages 15+ who are experiencing trauma, addiction, anxiety and particularly enjoys working members of the LGBTQIA+ community. Maddy uses a person-centered lens and brings curiosity, empathy, compassion, and humor to her work. She creates a safe environment and builds strong therapeutic relationships. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and Mindful Self-Compassion (MSC) interventions are frequently used tools. Maddy is trained in Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR).

Outside of work, Maddy enjoys spending time with friends and family. She loves crossword puzzles, watching movies, and reading. Maddy enjoys rock climbing and tries to be outdoors as much as possible.

Welcoming in July: Andrew Hubartt, MSW

Andrew (he/him) is a recent graduate with a Master's of Social Work from Indiana University. He is passionate about helping individuals overcome obstacles preventing them from living the lives they envision for themselves and the goals they hope to achieve. He has a background in working with people from diverse backgrounds and with diverse needs. He has experience in helping people experiencing depression, anxiety, stress, negative self-image, grief, substance use, eating disorders, suicidal ideation, veteran's issues, and relationship issues. 

Andrew utilizes Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, Mindfulness, and a trauma-informed approach and is familiar with many other perspectives and treatment modalities. Andrew is working toward developing Acceptance and Commitment Therapy as a part of his practice. Andrew also employs a strengths-based and client-centered perspective that puts the client in the driver's seat, empowered to express their thoughts and emotions in a judgment-free space freely.

Andrew is new to Minnesota and is ready to adopt the Twins and Vikings as his new home teams. He looks forward to exploring this great State, making it his new home, and is particularly excited to explore the local food scene.  

Welcoming in April: Carmen Avendano, MA, LMFT

Carmen has fifteen years of experience as a Mental Health Professional, twenty-five years of experience as a cross-cultural trainer and over thirty years of experience as a teacher, including the past ten years as an assistant professor for Counseling Psychology, Health and Human Services, and Marriage & Family Therapy graduate programs at St. Mary’s University of Minnesota.

Carmen is passionate about helping her clients achieve their goals and finding effective ways to deal with life’s challenges. It is her goal to help clients heal, achieve their fullest potential, have mutually supportive relationships and improve their overall well being. Carmen offers client centered care and understands the power of diversity, equity, and inclusion. 

Working With your ADHD

Do you often find it difficult to finish something you have started? Is it more difficult for you to “kick into gear” or find the motivation and follow-through that other people seem to conjure up easily? In school, was it more challenging to focus and complete your homework? Do you find yourself lunging into new projects without finishing the ones you had already started? Do you often find yourself restless, bored, and seeking stimulation? 

If you have adult ADHD, struggling with these issues may have led you to feel guilt, shame, and frustration over the course of your life. If only something in your mind would “click” so you could finish the job.  

Here are the facts:

•           ADHD is not just a childhood disorder

•           ADHD does not only present as hyperactivity

•           Very few people outgrow ADHD completely. For most, symptoms remain in adulthood.

While there is no magic cure, working with rather than against the symptoms of ADHD may help. The ADHD mind seeks novelty, excitement, and creativity. Enlisting these motivators can help you reach your goals. Approaching a problem from a novel perspective or seeking new tools can re-invent tedious processes. The next time you feel confined by routine and rigid procedures, consider out-of-the-box solutions to your projects.

Remember that motivation, energy, and focus are different for everyone. When you face a difficult task, you can start by:

•           Accepting your limitations and expanding from there. Too often, we waste mental energy on what we cannot do or haven’t done, leaving little for what we can do now. 

•           Breaking a daunting goal into small, incremental steps while committing to daily action. 

•           Setting realistic and attainable goals. Creating a habit of consistently accomplishing small tasks makes loftier goals more realistic.

•           Entertaining new and creative approaches that capitalize on your unique strengths.  

ADHD is challenging; however, you can become more functional and successful by building on your unique strengths. In time, you can develop new approaches to tackle daily tasks and challenges in ways that work with who you are.  

JOINING US IN AUGUST: SONIA COBOS, MS

Sonia (she/her) is passionate about mental health and behavioral science and considers herself privileged to work in this field.  Sonia recently completed a Master’s degree in rehabilitation and addiction counseling. Her training was focused on addiction and mental health counseling, including the special needs of individuals living with disability, congenital or acquired.

Sonia takes a holistic and goal-oriented Adlerian approach. Informed by this perspective, Sonia believes that the person’s wholeness or holistic nature is irreducible, therefore considering parts of the personality while ignoring others undermines the understanding of the individual. Sonia likes to apply contextual psychology, family system theory, cognitive behavioral therapy, and motivational interviewing in her practice.

As an immigrant, Sonia is mindful of cultural influences as well as the trauma and generational trauma experienced by the immigrant and first and second generation Americans. She approaches multiculturalism as an enriching opportunity to expand our humanity and grow consciousness.

Sonia’s clinical training is patient centered and non-directive. Sonia’s research during graduate school was in neuroplasticity and the promotion of neurogenesis as part of the therapeutic approach for individuals with addictions and co-occurring mental illness.

Sonia enjoys working with individuals of all ages and backgrounds, and has special interest in helping those who experience addictions, domestic violence, developmental trauma, PTSD, grief and traumatic grief, and patients with long-term disability.

Announcing Men's Support Group: Swinging from Birches

We are pleased to announce the beginnings of a new support group, which will be facilitated by Birch Counseling provider Brian Rose, MA, LADC. This group is welcoming men who are facing questions about substance use as well as other pertinent life problems. The group will be held on Monday evenings, 5:00 - 6:30pm at our Hopkins location (904 Mainstreet, #200). If you are interested in becoming a member, please contact our front office at (866) 522-2472, ext. 0. They will be happy to schedule a pre-admission meeting with Brian, who will make sure you are a good fit for the group. This men’s group will be limited to a maximum of 8 active members.

Below is Brian Rose’s description of the group:

The pandemic has been tough. It has broken our connection with many sources of support and the routines that anchored us. This group’s purpose is to connect with other men for support to help answer questions about issues that have arisen in our lives, such as questions about substance use, interpersonal relationships, as well as anxiety and depression. While such issues may have predated the pandemic , the isolation of the lock-downs has made these concerns more visible and pressing for many.

Some of the topics discussed in this group will cover substance use, improving communication in our relationships, repairing connections with friends and family, coping with symptoms of anxiety and depression, and the facing lonliness that has increased with isolation. This will be a process group with a strong focus on learning to connect and trust others.

The group will meet Mondays, from 5:00pm to 6:30pm, in person. 

Birches

Poem by Robert frost

When I see birches bend to left and right
Across the lines of straighter darker trees,
I like to think some boy's been swinging them.
But swinging doesn't bend them down to stay
As ice-storms do. Often you must have seen them
Loaded with ice a sunny winter morning
After a rain. They click upon themselves
As the breeze rises, and turn many-colored
As the stir cracks and crazes their enamel
Soon the sun's warmth makes them shed crystal shells
Shattering and avalanching on the snow-crust —
Such heaps of broken glass to sweep away
You'd think the inner dome of heaven had fallen.
They are dragged to the withered bracken by the load,
And they seem not to break; though once they are bowed
So low for long, they never right themselves:
You may see their trunks arching in the woods
Years afterwards, trailing their leaves on the ground
Like girls on hands and knees that throw their hair
Before them over their heads to dry in the sun.
But I was going to say when Truth broke in
With all her matter-of-fact about the ice-storm
I should prefer to have some boy bend them
As he went out and in to fetch the cows —
Some boy too far from town to learn baseball,
Whose only play was what he found himself,
Summer or winter, and could play alone.
One by one he subdued his father's trees
By riding them down over and over again
Until he took the stiffness out of them,
And not one but hung limp, not one was left
For him to conquer. He learned all there was
To learn about not launching out too soon
And so not carrying the tree away
Clear to the ground. He always kept his poise
To the top branches, climbing carefully
With the same pains you use to fill a cup
Up to the brim, and even above the brim.
Then he flung outward, feet first, with a swish,
Kicking his way down through the air to the ground.
So was I once myself a swinger of birches.
And so I dream of going back to be.
It's when I'm weary of considerations,
And life is too much like a pathless wood
Where your face burns and tickles with the cobwebs
Broken across it, and one eye is weeping
From a twig's having my lashed opened.
I'd like to get away from earth awhile
And then come back to it and begin over.
May no fate willfully misunderstand me
And half grant what I wish and snatch me away
Not to return. Earth's the right place for love:
I don't know where it's likely to go better.
I'd like to go by climbing a birch tree,
And climb black branches up a snow-white trunk
Toward heaven, till the tree could bear no more,
But dipped its top and set me down again.
That would be good both going and coming back.
One could do worse than be a swinger of birches.

Joining us July 1: Laura Linner, MA, LICSW

Laura (she/her) genuinely loves this work and brings authenticity, hope and humor to sessions with individuals and families. She considers it an honor to have the opportunity to walk alongside others in recognizing, accessing, and developing their own resiliency, and in building a rich, full and meaningful life (as they define it!). Laura is mindful of creating a non-judgmental, anti-oppressive, anti-racist, LGBTQIA-affirming space for the clients with whom she works. She views therapy as a collaborative process and values feedback from clients.

Laura’s foundational clinical training is in non-directive Rogerian client-centered therapy from her time as a clinical intern then post-graduate psychotherapy fellow in a group practice in Chicago. This humanistic approach continues to serve as the clinical underpinning of her work with clients. That being said, Laura takes an eclectic approach and aligns with concepts of clinical pragmatism – offering and using what therapeutic intervention works - tailored to each individual. Laura sees therapy as an opportunity to pause, reflect, and take an inventory of how our lives are going, identify what’s working and what isn’t, and make effective change in moving closer to the life we hope for ourselves. Laura brings an attitude of openness, curiosity and compassion with clients. She has benefitted greatly from her own therapy over the years and strives to provide a similarly beneficial experience to those with whom she has the honor of working with.

Laura is trained in, integrates, and draws from a number of therapeutic approaches including Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, trauma-informed therapy (TF-ACT and TF-CBT), CBT for psychosis (CBT-p), ACT for psychosis, psychodynamic theory, polyvagal theory, motivational interviewing, harm-reduction, and also employs a neuroscientific lens to reinforce concepts of regulation, zones of optimal functioning and neuroplasticity/opportunity for growth and change. Laura is also trained in child-centered play therapy from when she worked with youth impacted by domestic violence.

Laura completed her graduate degree in clinical social work at The University of Chicago’s School of Social Service Administration. For the past four years, Laura has worked for the University of Minnesota Department of Psychiatry as an individual and family therapist specializing in first-episode psychosis and schizophrenia spectrum disorders. She has a passion for working with individuals and families in processing new diagnoses and identifying ways of being that work for all who are impacted in their own unique ways. Prior to this, Laura has experience providing therapy and support to individuals in life transitions, relationship challenges, identity exploration and development, finding a sense of meaning and purpose, working through grief and loss, coping with the impact of domestic violence and trauma, and effectively coping with life stressors. She has also worked both internationally and stateside in violence recovery services and human rights work. Diagnostically, Laura has experience working with individuals who have been diagnosed with anxiety, depression, PTSD, OCD, disordered eating, substance use disorders, mood disorders, dissociative disorders, and schizophrenia spectrum disorders.

Laura believes an individual is not their diagnosis, and joins alongside clients to explore meaning of diagnosis in a way that is adaptive and feels authentic to them.

Laura believes life and humans can be messy, confusing, amazing, doubtful, inspired, worried, scared, brave, determined, hopeless, hopeful and many more things all at the same time. Laura is inspired by people’s willingness and ability to move into discomfort, try new ways of being and make change in ways that feel valuable to them, and she is grateful for being able to provide support along the way.

When Laura isn’t working she enjoys reading, spending time with family and friends, snuggling her two cats, needlepointing, watching cooking shows, trying to learn to cook herself, playing outside and learning.

Ah, February...

It is easy to fall into a bit of a hole in February. KMOX St. Louis Reporter Kevin Killeen offers an explanation: