Wally, the Pig - Animal Inspiration

Recently, there was a story about a pig named Wally.

He was a pig being taken to a slaughterhouse on a truck. But, instead of ending up as bacon, he made a decision to escape. And, he took action.

Pigs are pretty intelligent animals, but Wally didn’t sit and think about all the potential variables before making a decision. Wally simply chose to act. Turns out, his decision to act not only saved his life, but made him the happy pig he is now.

We can all learn something from Wally’s story: that we need to act boldly, fall forward. Far too often we get stuck in a cycle of endless “what if” deliberations.  We try to solve problems we’ll likely never face, and so choose to stay stagnant because it feels safer than the unknown. As smart as we are, we will never be able to predict or control all of the variables in our lives.  What we can do is work out any issues that immediately concern us now, then act and move forward.  

Don’t be like the other pigs on the slaughterhouse truck. Be like Wally.  Consider what step you can take right at this moment to get out of the situation that keeps you stuck. Then, with courage and all the integrity you can muster, take action. Trust that, whatever the outcome, it’ll be better than staying on the truck.

Seeking Help for Opioid Addictions

Opioid addiction and deaths are on the rise. In 2016, 20,101 died from opioid overdoses.  Movies like “Trainspotting” and now “Trainspotting 2” have brought some of the realities and problems of opioid use to the public eye, but perhaps glorify it unintentionally. 

For whatever reasons are causing this trend, opioid overdoses on drugs like heroin continue to be one the rise. But, how does a doctor or a friend help someone with these addictions or even in the throws of an overdose? 

A Safe and Tested Solution
A medication called Naloxone has been used since 1961 by paramedics and first responders in 28 states to reverse the effects ofdrug overdoses. Naloxone is administered either through the nose (intranasal), as an intramuscular injection, or intravenously.

In the United States, naloxone is classified as a prescription medication, but is not a controlled substance. While it is legal to prescribe naloxone in every state, dispensing the drug by medical professionals (including physicians or other licensed prescribers) at the point of service is subject to rules that vary by jurisdiction. 

Obtaining Naxolone
In most states, you can purchase naloxone from a pharmacist directly without getting a prescription from a doctor. In Australia, as of February 1, 2016, naloxone is now available over-the-counter (OTC) in pharmacies without a prescription. It comes in single use filled syringe similar to law enforcement kits. In Canada, naloxone single-use syringe kits are distributed and available at various clinics and emergency rooms.

Avoiding Long-Term Complications
The sooner an opioid overdose is treated, the better, because it’s not just death that is the worry, but permanent brain damage and other injuries related to overdose. Even if you are not sure if someone is suffering an opioid overdose, Naloxone has been found to be safe and would have no effect on anyone without opioids in their system. The benefits of increasing availability of naloxone outweigh the risks. 

If you or someone you know has an opioid problem, get help as soon as possible in order to save their life. 

Are You in a Relationship with a Gaslighter?

What is Gaslighting? 
The term “gaslighting” is derived from the movie Gaslight (1944), in which a husband manipulates his wife until she thinks she’s losing her mind.   

This manipulation tactic is used in all kinds of relationships because, sadly, it’s effective. No matter who you are, you are susceptible. 

Why does it work? 
Gaslighters know confusion weakens us because we need a personal sense of reality. Their goal is to consistently make you question what you saw, heard or noticed. Over time, you may doubt your own perceptions.  Ultimately, you may give up and defer to the manipulator as the source of your truth and power.

How do you know when someone is gaslighting you? Ask yourself these questions: 

Do they deny their words or actions even in the face of verifiable proof? 
People who gaslight you tell blatant lies. You know they took the car keys. You saw it five minutes ago. Yet, they still deny they have them. This is a method to make you question your own reality.

Do they attack what’s most important to you? 
Kids are important to you. But they constantly tell you you shouldn’t have them. You’d be an unfit parent. 

Do they project their negative traits onto you? 
They lie. Constantly. When you confront them, they say that you are not smart enough to understand them.  They may suggest that you are the liar, not them. You end up having to defend yourself instead of discussing the problem. 

Do they tell others that you are crazy?
They isolate you by inviting people who support you to question your sanity. This is usually cloaked in grave concern for your welfare. 

Do they say that everyone is a liar? 
By telling you that everyone but them is a liar, it makes you question reality. The goal is to give them the position of power as the only source for the "correct" information.

Do you feel like you have no one to turn to?
People who gaslight you are usually charming.  They manage to get people close to you on their side, so you feel isolated. 

Are they randomly awesome, supportive, appreciative of you?
Gaslighters throw occasional niceties into their long string of interactions that are aimed at devaluing you. This is what hooks you, because after they succeeded in having you feel terrible for so long, a break feels incredibly welcoming.  You’ll want to believe they changed, and that everything will be different now.  You’ll believe this even if, or especially when, you’ve been around this cycle multiple times.  You look so nice today.  I’m lucky to have you.  I made your favorite meal, just for you.  You look tired, why don’t you take a break?  Let’s go out to your favorite restaurant tonight, it’ll help you feel better. It’s always short-lived, and it’s part of the gaslighting process.  It makes you feel they care, that you had really just misunderstood them, that, deep down, they have a good heart.  This will make you stay longer.

Are you starting to question your own grasp on reality despite data points not adding up?
Please remember: when stories consistently don’t add up, it means that they really don’t.  They are filled with lies, half-truths and intended omissions.  Trust your instincts. 

Have you decided it’s just easier to not say anything, even when you feel something’s very wrong?  
A person who gaslights wins by attrition, by wearing you down over time until you question yourself and avoid bringing up what concerns you.  

If you think you may be in a relationship with a person who gaslights you, it’s time to find someone who can help. Contact a family member or friend outside the manipulator's circle of loyalty, or contact a therapist to help you get out of this toxic relationship

The Connection Between Facebook and Depression

We live in a world of social media addiction and a virtual world that isn’t real. We’re online constantly: at home, work, the bus, school, and simply whenever we have down time. We’re barraged by what people choose to share — the best of themselves, and what they want you to believe about their lives. 

No doubt about it, there are psychological effects of this new digital age that are only just being uncovered. 

Depression and Social Media
Recently, researchers at the University of Pittsburgh School of Medicine conducted a study about the effects of social media habits on the moods of users. 

This research found that the more time young adults use social media, the more likely they feel  depressed.

According to their study, participants used social media 61 minutes per day and visited various social media accounts 30 times per week on average and more than a quarter of them were classified as having “high” indicators of depression.

How could Social Media cause Depression?
What we present on social media isn’t necessarily the truth of our lives. Rather, most are aware it's a thin veneer of a highly edited, idealized and exaggerated version of who we'd like to be. Still, it tends to bring out feelings of envy, a sense that others are happier than we are or living a more successful life.

Despite recognizing the shallowness of social media content, many still feel stuck in constant participation, then end up feeling empty, lost in meaningless exchanges that feel like a waste of time.

Spending significant time online exposes social media participants to cyber-bullying, invites gossip and judgment from others. While many who struggle with depression may use social media to fill a void, exposure also can strengthen depression, and so create a vicious cycle.

What can I do? 
Set limits on how often you are on social media. Seek out offline interactions with friends and family. If you can, stop using a smart phone — the tendency to check updates and alerts is ever-present, and often they are not important. 

If you find that you are unable to control your online behavior, seek professional help to break the compulsive cycle.

When Empathy Hurts You

We’re told often that we should empathize with others. 

As empathy puts yourself in the shoes of another person in an effort to not only understand, but to feel their experience, it’s invaluable in building good relationships and helping others. 

While it’s an essential skill for therapists, healers, and other caregivers, there are times when empathy works against us — and can even hurt us.

Laura van Dernoot Lipsky outlines some of the dangers.

Too much empathy can lead to putting another’s needs in front of your own creating an imbalance in our lives. That imbalance can create secondary (or vicarious) trauma, compassion fatigue, and burnout. 

Secondary trauma may present itself through — but is not limited to — these feelings, actions, or physical symptoms:

• Avoidance
• Cynicism (sometimes cynical humor)
• Anger
• Rage
• Self-righteousness
• Sleep disruptions
• Physical tension and illness
• Hopelessness, helplessness, excessive guilt
• Numbing
• Apathy

Feeding the Problem
When experiencing these traumas, some may numb themselves with drugs, alcohol, sugar, social media, or just plain shutting down. This numbness feeds the problem and we continue to lose our ability to gauge if we are doing harm to ourselves or achieving self care. 

How to Heal
The first step towards good self care is being aware of the situation, then taking the responsibility for your self care. There are many ways to achieve it, but it should include connecting with others, addressing your physical health, and taking time for rest.

How to Avoid
A main reason could be a disruption in setting and maintaining boundaries. We’ll unpack that in part 2 in a continuing discussion about too much empathy and its affects on caregivers.  

In Relationships, We are Both Beauty & the Beast

Beauty & the Beast is a tale we continue to tell because the message to not judge a book by its cover is timeless.  We all hope to have a partner that, like the Beauty, can ultimately look past the emotional reactivity of our “inner beast.” 

Not surprisingly, many people report figuratively experiencing both characters; sometimes from one relationship to another and often within the same relationship. 

We all have within us a beast that can and does emerge when strong emotions enter into a relationship, that we too have an inner conflict between the often competing impulses of fight/flight and healthy communication. 

But while looking past a rough exterior to find the beauty, Belle also shows us she had the insight to look past a polished exterior and recognize inner darkness of someone truly unsafe like Gaston. 

In each of us, we can find both Beauty & Beast, and so do our partners. Seeing past our loved one’s rough exterior, over time and particularly during difficult life transitions, can be increasingly hard without support.  

Couple Therapy can assist in clarifying our values and self compassion as a protective factor helping distinguish between sporadic emotional reactivity versus pernicious emotional abuse.   

We can help couples channel Beauty’s inner strength and resiliency when in a loving relationship either our partner’s Beast emerges, or we recognize our own Beast coming to the forefront. 

Therapy provides couples and individuals tools and skills to navigate the often murky waters of relationships to safe harbor.   

In the end, just like this tale as old as time, we can learnt to see past worldly distractions to see each other with a new and loving clarity.

Thank you Mary Brainerd for Supporting Mental Health

Recently, the Star Tribune Editorial Board wrote an Opinion article about Mary Brainerd, the outgoing CEO of Health Partners. 

Hearing about her contributions to helping expand mental health care from the state-of-the art HealthPartners’ Regions Hospital campus in St. Paul to the “Make it OK” campaign to spread awareness aimed at ending stigma makes Birch Counseling proud to be in Minnesota. 

Her establishment of a mental health urgent care center was groundbreaking, and her dedication to working with law enforcement as well as health care leaders truly provided results for those who were falling through the cracks. 

It’s great to have strong women leaders who not only run a good business, but advocate for those in the shadows and stigmatized from years of bad information, or simply no information at all. 

We wish her all the best in her retirement, and look forward to a successor that will continue the great work she’s done to help expand the awareness around mental health and the essential mental health services Minnesotans need. 

An estimated 600,000 US Women Experience this Depression...

On International Women’s Day, we’ll take a look at a mental health issue affects a large number of women: postpartum depression (PPD), or a depression that occurs after childbirth.

Counter to what you might think, PPD is fairly common.  According to the CDC, 11 to 25 percent of mothers experience postpartum depression.

Sadly, more than half of those affected by it (15 percent) do not seek any professional help.

There are multiple issues that keep women from seeking help for this disorder, most notably guilt and shame. It’s difficult for new mothers to come to terms with “the baby blues” – after all, isn’t having a new baby supposed to be the happiest moment in our lives?

Postpartum depression can be serious. Symptoms may include:

• Depressed mood or severe mood swings
• Excessive crying
• Difficulty bonding with your baby
• Withdrawing from family and friends
• Loss of appetite or eating much more than usual
• Inability to sleep (insomnia) or sleeping too much
• Overwhelming fatigue or loss of energy
• Reduced interest and pleasure in activities you used to enjoy
• Intense irritability and anger
• Fear that you're not a good mother
• Feelings of worthlessness, shame, guilt or inadequacy
• Diminished ability to think clearly, concentrate or make decisions
• Severe anxiety and panic attacks
• Thoughts of harming yourself or your baby
• Recurrent thoughts of death or suicide

Hormonal changes and the stress from sleep deprivation that comes with caring for a newborn are thought to be causes of PPD.

Left unaddressed PPD can lead to chronic problems with depression and anxiety. Mothers with PPD often have difficulty bonding with their children, which impacts their development and so can affect their own mental health down the road.  For your sake, as well as the sake of your child, it is important to seek help. 

Postpartum depression can lead to suicidal thoughts.  
Should you have thoughts of harming yourself or your baby, it is critical to seek help right away.  Please ask for help from those who support you and your baby.  You may also contact:

• Your mental health care provider
• The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (1-800-273-8255).
• The Crisis Connection, at 612-379-6363, or 1-866-379-6363.
• Your primary care doctor, minister or spiritual leader
• 911
• The mobile crisis team in your county:
  • Anoka: 763-755-3801
  • Carver/Scott: 952-442-7601
  • Dakota: 952-891-7171
  • Hennepin: adults - 612-596-1223, children - 612-348-2233
  • Ramsey: adults - 651-266-7900, children - 651-774-7000
  • Washington: 651-777-5222

Please remember: PPD is not your fault. 

Your body has just undergone significant hormonal changes, and you’re adjusting to a very stressful new reality.  You are not alone.  In the United States alone, an estimated 600,000 women struggle with this disorder. Help is available. 

For your own sake, and the sake of your baby, please reach out.

You are NOT your problems.

It takes a lot of courage to ask for help. And, it usually takes a lot of time to muster up that courage. 

But, by the time you ask, you’ve most likely internalized your problems. 

Internalizing problems over a long period of time can lead to ‘absorbing’ the problems into our identity, meaning you begin to define yourself by the problems. This not only exacerbates your problems, but it also becomes a malicious adversary in our lives. 

When you realize this, it’s time to begin to view problems as being ‘other’ and therefore able to be influenced, challenged, changed, even eradicated.

Therapy can help challenge any preexisting internalization of the problem. That is to say, therapy can be understood, in part, as a process by which the individual can begin to be separated from his/her problematic symptoms. 

No matter how educated we may be and intellectually or emotionally sophisticated; in the quiet moments when our problem presents as overwhelming how long until some version of the internal message ‘what is wrong with me?’ enters into our consciousness.

We live in a society that relentlessly facilitates the internalization of our problems; intertwined into the habitual fabric of our lives. Some of us grow up in homes where shameful messages were ever present. ‘Something is wrong’ so often became ‘something is wrong with me’. If our problematic symptoms are indivisible from ourselves then we are condemned to being ‘less than’, ‘broken’, being ‘apart from’. 

But this is not true.

• You are NOT your symptoms. 
  • You are NOT your problems. 
    • You are NOT your thoughts.

Through Narrative Therapy, we can help you externalize the problems and affirm that you are not the problem, rather the problem is the problem. 

We are here to help.

You can Beat Winter Blues

The holidays are a time spent with family and friends. We enjoy good food, lots of laughs, and excitement of what the New Year might bring. Along with the holidays comes the stress of preparing meals, picking out gifts, and spending time with that one family member who pushes all our buttons.

During the winter months, we can begin to struggle with motivation to do things we once enjoyed. It becomes darker much earlier and let’s not forget the stress of the holidays. When we experience these symptoms, we feel trapped and can’t wait for future summer days.

Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) may be behind those unwanted feelings. Common symptoms of SAD include: difficulty sleeping, weight gain/loss, heightened anxiety/stress, sadness, and lack of motivation. Additionally, it may seem like winter will drag on with no end in sight. However, this does not have to be the case.

There are many ways to manage SAD and get back to feeling like yourself for the holidays. Self-care is an important way to manage these symptoms. Some ideas include exercising for 30 minutes several times a week, eating a healthy balanced diet, and/or daily meditation. Another important way to manage symptoms is getting outside. Yes, you heard me: being outside can improve your mood! If symptoms continue to worsen, therapy and medication are always an option.

This holiday season, surround yourself with friends and family and enjoy these cold months. Find one thing each day that makes you happy. And, remember we are always here to help you!

Wind Telephone

I was listening to an episode of This American Life entitled “One Last Thing Before I Go.” It was talking about how people in Japan have coped with the loss of loved ones following the tsunami of 2011, specifically in the town of Otsuchi as it had one of the highest death tolls. Following the desire to stay connected to his deceased cousin, Itaru Sasaki decided to buy an old phone booth which he placed in his garden complete with a disconnected rotary phone as a respite where he (and eventually others) could call their deceased loved ones and stay connected. Since a regular telephone is not able to call the dead, this phone has been called a “wind telephone” as the conversations were “carried in the wind.”

As listeners, we got to overhear some of the conversations. There were a variety of reactions from a recap of day to day occurrences, uncomfortable laughter, long pauses, gasping tears, and reassurances that they were doing just fine. One family was finally able to speak about the loss of their father as a family since the wind telephone had opened up their lines of communication.

This got me thinking of the various ways we can honor our loved ones who have passed on. We can write a letter or a tribute, light a candle, create a memorial, plant a tree, install a bench, create works of art, cook their favorite meal, compose a piece of music, listen to a song they enjoyed, tend to the grave site, release their ashes in nature, or find a unique way to honor the individual in a way that is authentic to who they were. The theme I noticed involves tapping in to different senses to bring them back to life, if you will.

Another idea is to make amends with someone or to choose to live your life differently such as fulfilling your own destiny. The podcast ended with a story of two brothers who were in their eighties who had been feuding for most of their lives and the son of one of the men who had made it his mission to have them reach reconciliation. I believe This American Life coupled these stories together for a reason. Death has a way of helping us see the bigger picture and focus on what really matters in life. While you are able to do things that can help you grieve and honor the ones who have passed, it can be more fruitful and rewarding to be intentional to connect and reconcile with those who are still alive.

Is there anyone you need to call today, either on the wind phone or your cell phone?

How to Survive a Post-Election Thanksgiving

This Thanksgiving could be one feisty holiday! 

Our country is split down the middle with the results from the recent election.  Tension and anxiety, which can normally be high around Turkey Day, have the potential to be off the charts should the conversation turn to politics. Anticipating that, what might be a good strategy to keep connection with family when the topic turns to Trump’s triumph?

Mark Reinecke, chief psychologist at Northwestern University Feinberg School of Medicine says in a recent Chicago Tribune article, "There's a level of tension and pressure that's just naturally there [at Thanksgiving]. Beyond that, you're bringing together family members who don't get together very often. It's been a divisive couple of months. They're going to share their thoughts and opinions.”

OK, so hoping the topic won’t come up is simply not realistic.  We need a viable Plan B.   Reinecke coaches:  ”if it's a family where this could become ... divisive, then it's probably best to not talk about politics.  It’s a tug of war. Just don't engage in it.”

Right! Don’t engage!  
Repeating “Don’t engage” as a mantra might help keep you leaping into the fray.  But what if after a second Merlot you happen to slip and find yourself in the deep end of the political debate?  

In her article “Dreading post-election Thanksgiving? 4 tips for survival,” Jessica Roy speaks directly to this happenstance: “Remember that you technically love these people. When you're talking with someone at Thanksgiving, try not to confuse the importance of the topic you're discussing with the importance of the conversation you're having.” 

Yes this is my brother I am speaking to after all.  I grew-up sharing a room with him for Pete’s sake! Presidents come and go.  My brother is still my brother no matter what happened this November!

If keeping that healthy perspective fails to halt the slide into the abyss, clinical psychologist Elaine Ducharme offers an escape hatch:  “If you find yourself getting upset by the conversation, take a personal time out, head for the kitchen and start to clean up, go entertain the kids, or even take a trip to the bathroom.”

Admittedly not the most gallant plan, beating a hasty retreat could help you avoid rupturing family ties.  In the long run that may be the better part of valor.  Also you will get a head start on refilling the dishwasher!  

Families Impacted by Addiction: An Underserved Population

If you have any connection to the recovery community you most likely have heard the adage: “addiction is a family disease”. This idea is the rationale behind treatment centers having Family Programs for the loved ones of an addict/alcoholic in treatment. There are many wonderful treatment centers offering family programs, staffed by talented counselors, to coincide with their loved one’s treatment program. Unfortunately, most family programs are limited to a “family day” (once weekly for an hour or two, occasionally offered a couple days in total), rarely -if ever- with ongoing professional family therapy. Given this lack of emphasis, recommended continuing care from a family program is the singular advice: "go to Al-anon". This is inadequate. Which is not to say that 12-Step programs for family members and loved ones do not play a crucial role in coping with the addiction/alcoholism in their family life. Al-anon and Al-ateen, similar to Alcoholics Anonymous and Narcotics Anonymous, continue to be the foundation of countless people’s recovery from drugs and alcohol. Yet, I implore you to challenge old ways of thinking.

If we actually believe addiction is a family disease (and most addiction experts emphatically agree that it is), the question arises: are family members receiving enough clinical support? Now, let’s contrast the ongoing care generally recommended to patients discharged from an inpatient treatment program. A continuing care recommendation for the recovering addict/ alcoholic often has an outpatient treatment component where they might participate in Day Treatment (an outpatient treatment program, typically meeting 6-7 hours per day (during business hours), 4-5 times weekly for about one month). Followed by Intensive Outpatient Treatment (“IOP” often meeting 2-3 hours per day, 3-4 times weekly for a couple months or more). Additionally, the outpatient recommendation can include a move to a sober house, recovery case management, ongoing work with a mental health professional, and most often active engagement in a 12-Step program. In the context of time investment, it really does equate to a full time job for some and a part-time job for the rest. Totaling some form of treatment for an average of six months, with decreasing levels of care and time investment, has arguably become the minimum continuing care recommendation with those struggling with severe substance use disorders. Let me be clear about the recommended investment that addiction professionals and treatment centers usually suggest to the recovering addict/alcoholic: it is a good thing. A very good thing. It is saving lives. My concern is the lack of referrals and resources provided to family members following their loved one’s treatment program. There are, of course, exceptions where addiction professionals are coordinating services for family members in need of support with mental health professionals experienced with family therapy. Al-anon, while infinitely important to those who engage it, is not treatment or therapy. I would be curious to see a research study tracking the percentage of people attending a family program at a treatment center, subsequently going on to participate in a 12-Step Program (such as Al-anon), for more than one meeting. While only anecdotal, I would argue it being far less than the actual need.

One possible response to the shockingly under-served population is the obvious: connect family members, in need of support, with family therapists.
I clearly cannot be the first person submitting this notion. The fact that coordinating resources for families is not a standard part of best practice policies within the addiction treatment field is quite perplexing. I am open to any coherent explanation as to why families are routinely not connected with experienced therapists in family therapy, as well as being provided with other necessary resources.

Having asked many professionals in the field, I have yet to find one. When addiction is in the household, often many other issues are close at hand including depression, anxiety, legal issues, poor boundaries, unhealthy communication, abuse, trauma, and grief. Antiquated arguments such as “family members need to work their own recovery programs separately” or “the addict/alcoholic needs to establish his/her own recovery before they can focus on their relationships” only serve to contradict the original assertion that addiction is a family disease. The systemic nature of relationships and family dynamics dictates that something so transformative as recovery does not, and cannot, exist in a vacuum. Change is hard. Healthy change is stressful and puts strain on relationships.

Having clear and healthy boundaries between family members’ recovery programs is definitely a positive thing, but we should not lose sight of how addiction has a ripple effect of discord permeating all intimate relationships.
Family therapy can help support and facilitate navigation on the often arduous path of recovery. Generally speaking I commend and support the ever evolving and improving field of addiction treatment. But would be remiss without encouraging an expanded vision of adequately supporting family members still suffering in the wake from addiction. Accountability, structure, and support are needed by all.

Meet Kirsten Clark, MSW, LICSW

Kirsten enjoys working with a diverse clientele.  She is passionate about working with adults who struggle with relationship concerns, anxiety or depression, and also enjoys assisting teens and families in crisis. She has provided mental health services within family programs through Hennepin County, as well as in K-12 educational settings.  She is experienced in play and art therapy for children and uses a range of narrative, cognitive behavioral and mindfulness approaches. She offers a collaborative, welcoming therapeutic environment in which clients feel safe to tell their story. Kirsten graduated from the University of Minnesota School of Social Work, and has more than 15 years of professional experience. A mother of three, she understands the multitude of challenges facing working moms and is passionate about helping her clients get to the next level.

Meet James Mallon, MA, LPCC

For Jim, counseling is a second career path. He started out in film and television, and enjoyed working in that field for more than 20 years. After having experienced the death of his daughter, Jim reached out for help to work through the intense grief, and existential confusion that followed. Through his own therapy, Jim developed a strong interest in the field of psychology. In 2012, he graduated from the University of St. Thomas with a masters degree in counseling.  Since then, he has enjoyed working with a culturally and ethnically diverse clientele. His creative talents make him particularly suited for work with individuals who are involved with the Arts. His clients appreciate his warmth, compassion, wisdom and sense of humor. 

Meet Christa Surerus, MA, LPCC, LADC

Christa started out her career as a translator in Germany and moved to Minnesota in 1987. She raised two daughters while studying psychology at the University of Minnesota, and obtaining a masters degree in psychological counseling at St. Mary’s University.  She is certified as a pathological gambling treatment provider, and completed a certificate in Addiction Studies at the University of Minnesota.

Losing her mother to cancer at age 11 was a defining moment in her life. With the help of caring adults, she got through the dark years that followed. Her experiences peaked intense curiosity about the human spirit: what makes us resilient? How do we choose what we choose? How do we create a meaningful life? How do we access joy? How can we reach those who have lost hope? She enjoys working with people from all walks of life presenting with a variety of concerns, and is widely known for her work with singles who wish to be coupled.  

Politics and Cognitive Distortion

The 2016 election process and thinking errors

As a mental health professional and addiction counselor I am tasked with approaching political events, within the context of therapy, from an objective stance. Surprisingly this is not as difficult as it may seem, particularly if one is prioritizing the mental health of one’s client. A good therapist has the ability to establish an alliance with a client as a means to explore healthy change; a process often referred to as ‘joining’. Post graduate training, professional experience, and the wisdom of other more experienced clinicians has taught me to not only join with clients but also maintain a professional objectivity that helps identify discrepancies between client behavior and their own stated values. It is the identification and therapeutic exploration of these discrepancies that often leads to sustained healthy change.

What does this have to do with the 2016 presidential election?

Have you experienced the phenomenon of finding out from someone in your life, that you otherwise respect, that they are voting for the ‘other candidate’?

What is the ensuing feeling that you experience?

One process by which some people inadvertently engage in thinking errors is when an emotional response to a situation perceived as threatening ends up distorting future behaviors and views. Put simply; as soon as we feel ourselves becoming increasingly frustrated, angry, scared, or threatened: we are subject to thinking errors. And though it be anecdotal, there are few people I have encountered following the 2016 election process that have not expressed some form of frustration, anger, trepidation, even fear. This is where I have to tread very lightly because my goal in writing this is simply to use the 2016 election as an example of how cognitive distortions (i.e. thinking errors) can cloud anyones judgement when they find themselves experiencing a strong emotional response.

A heated debate or argument with a family member, a strong physiological urge to use alcohol or drugs when trying to moderate, the feeling of jealousy, and even politics are examples of triggers that can elicit our fight or flight (survival instinct) response. There are many names for this phenomenon including ‘emotional reactivity’, being ‘flooded’ (referring to hormones flooding our system), fight or flight response, survival instinct, lashing out, etc. The common denominator is that during this process our ability to think clearly is greatly diminished. . .why?

Think back to our ancestors: when being chased by a saber-toothed tiger; it is essential that one quickly obtain a narrow thought process: run!!! Stopping to evaluate multiple options or attempting to sympathize with the tiger’s plight would obviously lead to becoming a big cat’s meal. Thus, when the primitive parts of our brain (limbic system - specifically the amygdala) have determined that a given situation warrants a fight or flight response (often at times we would love to veto that decision . . . e.g. giving a speech, first date), the more evolved parts of our brains (cerebral cortex) are often compelled to make sense of it: which leads to cognitive distortions to bridge our survival response with our values and convictions. People typically do not like sustained inner conflict.

A few examples of common cognitive distortions that may be applicable to this November include:

• Polarized thinking
‘All or nothing’, often expressed as all good or all bad; particularly when attributed to people. If our emotional response is strong, subtitles and nuance can be lost and the person causing this response tends to become the hero or the villain. “She always does this, or “he never does that” is most likely unintentional hyperbole.

• Thinking with your feelings
“I feel unsafe, therefore I must be in danger”, “I feel angry, so somebody must be to blame”. This thinking error goes back to equating our feelings with objective fact.

• Catastrophizing
 “End of the world”. When future oriented, this thinking error can lead to self-fulfilling prophecy.

If you were anticipating this post to include specific thinking errors of particular presidential candidates, I am sorry to disappoint. The attempt is more reflective and exploring a phenomenon that we all fall prey to assuming we are capable of an emotional response (i.e. we are human beings). I do not call into question the political views of the reader and definitely do not assume the reader experiences thinking errors in relation to the 2016 election process. I simply submit the notion that some of what we are witnessing on the news channels, at political gatherings, and perhaps in our personal social circles can stem from cognitive distortion. Insight of this physiological phenomenon might help enhance empathy in what has thus far, in my nonprofessional opinion, been a rather stress inducing political season. 

This Halloween, don't wear self-harm make up.

Self-injury is a non-suicidal form of self-harm which is intended to hurt oneself on the surface of the body and can include cutting, burning, or punching oneself (among other forms). It is a way to deal with emotional pain and can have similar features to other addictive behaviors because it can cause temporary emotional relief but is often followed by feelings of shame and guilt and accompanied with secretive behaviors. 

Self-harm is also dangerous as it has been shown to have a "cluster effect" meaning that the occurrence of self-harm can increase for those who are in close proximity to those who self-harm. Oftentimes individuals who self-harm are not doing it for attention but rather are trying to express (however unhealthy) painful emotions. 

This Halloween, stores are selling "suicide scar" make up. We at Birch Counseling want to increase awareness, and as mental health professionals want to note that this "costume" increases stigma, may prevent those who are secretly struggling from seeking help, and may spark an increase in self-harming behaviors. Self-injury is not a joke and should not be treated as such.

We want you to know that if you self-harm, you are not alone, we understand and we're here to help.